Open marriages?

[Grace]

I ask again..then why get married if they are going to bonk others?:

 

[High_Gravity]

I ask again..then why get married if they are going to bonk others?:

Why does anyone get married? managamous couples are the ones being deceitful and cheating on their partner, swingers know whats going on and are ok with it.

 

[Sheldon]

Open marriage and swinging is DEFINENTLY not for everyone, but the odds are in a managamous marriage one or both of the partners will end up cheating anyways. The numbers are there, and it is not a pretty sight.

Yeah. I think the divorce rate is somewhere close to 50%. My guess is that marriages today are no less challenging than back then. It's just that back then, like way back over a hundred plus years ago, divorce was just not socially acceptable. You didn't do it. No matter how unhappy you were, you stuck it out because you both made a promise to God, and it took two people to raise 5 kids. How many people are having 5 kids these days? And I suspect wife-beating was socially less unacceptable back then, maybe even tolerated. But now I think the focus has shifted less to honoring the commitment til death do us part, and more about the freedom to leave a bad situation--maybe because our living standards in general have become more comfortable, so any unhappiness is less tolerable. But this could be just a bunch of bullshit for all I know.

 

[High_Gravity]

Open marriage and swinging is DEFINENTLY not for everyone, but the odds are in a managamous marriage one or both of the partners will end up cheating anyways. The numbers are there, and it is not a pretty sight.

Yeah. I think the divorce rate is somewhere close to 50%. My guess is that marriages today are no less challenging than back then. It's just that back then, like way back over a hundred plus years ago, divorce was just not socially acceptable. You didn't do it. No matter how unhappy you were, you stuck it out because you both made a promise to God, and it took two people to raise 5 kids. How many people are having 5 kids these days? And I suspect wife-beating was socially less unacceptable back then, maybe even tolerated. But now I think the focus has shifted less to honoring the commitment til death do us part, and more about the freedom to leave a bad situation--maybe because our living standards in general have become more comfortable, so any unhappiness is less tolerable. But this could be just a bunch of bullshit for all I know.

I think people tried harder on their marriages back than, and plus people were not as selfish. I am 29 and I can tell you most of the people I know, me included, are very selfish. We want to be happy, everything is about us, going out, getting drunk, getting pussy. It used to be when you got married you settled down, now, that is not the case, especially in the under 30 crowd. The word "commitment" is scarey and most people view marriage as a death sentence, and it doesn't help when you look around and the happiest people you see are the single people with no kids, people who are married are miserable and if they have children, they are broke.

The only people I see really having 5 kids are the Hispanic and some Muslim families here, and for the most part they are broke because taking care of a child costs a fortune.

 

[California Girl]

I don't get it. Why marry if they are going to be bonking others? What's the point?

That is my initial reaction. I don't see the point in a marriage where infidelity is par for the course. But, I have a Catholic view of marriage.... one man, one woman, for life. I guess we must each march to our own drum. I wouldn't condemn them for it, but I just don't get it.

 

[Grace]

I don't get it. Why marry if they are going to be bonking others? What's the point?

That is my initial reaction. I don't see the point in a marriage where infidelity is par for the course. But, I have a Catholic view of marriage.... one man, one woman, for life. I guess we must each march to our own drum. I wouldn't condemn them for it, but I just don't get it.

Ditto

 

[The Infidel]

I ask again..then why get married if they are going to bonk others?:

Why does anyone get married? managamous couples are the ones being deceitful and cheating on their partner, swingers know whats going on and are ok with it.

I they are being monogamous.... what are they being decietful about?

 

[boedicca]

I ask again..then why get married if they are going to bonk others?:

Indeed. But there are some people who still want to play around.

I know a couple who practice what they call being Ethical Sluts. They tried to solicit me into their lifestyle. I wasn't interested, but did read their favorite book:

[ame=http://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Practical-Relationships-Adventures/dp/1587613379/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1298579315&sr=8-1]Amazon.com: The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures (9781587613371): Dossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy: Books[/ame]


It's way too complicated for me. I can't even take care of house plants.

 

[High_Gravity]

I ask again..then why get married if they are going to bonk others?:

Why does anyone get married? managamous couples are the ones being deceitful and cheating on their partner, swingers know whats going on and are ok with it.

I they are being monogamous.... what are they being decietful about?

Well technically they are in managamous relationships, meaning they are not supposed to mess around with other people sexually but still do it, thats whats deceitful about it. If you are supposed to be faithful to your spouse but you mess around with others, you are being deceitful.

 

[High_Gravity]

I ask again..then why get married if they are going to bonk others?:

Indeed. But there are some people who still want to play around.

I know a couple who practice what they call being Ethical Sluts. They tried to solicit me into their lifestyle. I wasn't interested, but did read their favorite book:

[ame=http://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Practical-Relationships-Adventures/dp/1587613379/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1298579315&sr=8-1]Amazon.com: The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures (9781587613371): Dossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy: Books[/ame]


It's way too complicated for me. I can't even take care of house plants.

I have heard about that book.

 

[The Infidel]

Why does anyone get married? managamous couples are the ones being deceitful and cheating on their partner, swingers know whats going on and are ok with it.

I they are being monogamous.... what are they being decietful about?

Well technically they are in managamous relationships, meaning they are not supposed to mess around with other people sexually but still do it, thats whats deceitful about it. If you are supposed to be faithful to your spouse but you mess around with others, you are being deceitful.

I think you missed my point..... if they are being monogamous (in actuality) then they are'nt cheating.
If your cheating... your not being monogamous.

Werd pley

 

[High_Gravity]

I they are being monogamous.... what are they being decietful about?

Well technically they are in managamous relationships, meaning they are not supposed to mess around with other people sexually but still do it, thats whats deceitful about it. If you are supposed to be faithful to your spouse but you mess around with others, you are being deceitful.

I think you missed my point..... if they are being monogamous (in actuality) then they are'nt cheating.
If your cheating... your not being monogamous.

Werd pley

In most marriages one or both partners will cheat on the other at some point, infidelity is an issue for managamous couples.

 

[logical4u]

Marriage is not for wimps. Men (some) do not step up and act like men. Women (some) have become callous about sex. If you get married to feed selfish needs, it will not work. Marriage means giving another person as much consideration as you give yourself (in some situations more, in some situations less). People that are more into partying, seldom make a good marriage partner.

Personally speaking, how many "good times" do you need to realize they are all the same... get ready to go (ritual), before buzz (ritual), get there, act happy, smile, compare yourself to everyone else, get smashed so you don't have to remember everyone else's life, late night snack (ritual), go home, feel terribly depressed because nothing that fun really happened, go to sleep, wake up feeling like shit, spend the next week telling yourself if you felt that bad it must have been a good time and then convincing yourself that somehow this coming weekend will be way better.
Sorry, I figured out there was a lot of other things that I could be doing early in life. Being married has been great for me. We have our ups and downs, I am married to one of the best ass-chewing people of all time. The first time one boss chewed me out, I was standing there thinking: is that all you got? It has helped me grow as a person and to look beyond myself. Children are awesome. I gave mine to the Lord when they were born, and He raised them to be fine individuals. They still don't act how I would like them to all the time, but I can respect them, and really, I couldn't ask for more. We don't cheat (we have been tempted, but with the Lord's help, rose above that). When you talk in your sleep, you behave yourself when you are awake, because it is really humiliating to realize, you told on yourself.

BTW read recently that 'swingers' do have higher rates of STDs. Been invited to join: first reaction: EWWWWW!!!

 

[Cain]

That is depressing, to me personally. I don't see how people can't curb their appetite for sex. They need a gym pass.

When you join the Air Force you will see how many people cheat on their spouse in deployment and how many of the dependent wives slut it up at the base club as soon as their man leaves on deployment. The divorce rates in the Military are through the roof right now, I hooked up with a dependent wife and I outprocessed her husband to Korea, he was gone a whole year and she was slutting it up. Thing is he knew too, because he saw the pics on Myspace. Their still married and she didn't want to leave him because he had an assignment to Italy and she wanted to go.

Just because it happens a lot doesn't mean I should conform to it. I don't care what I see, what matters is, what will I do. I am a human being, a animal, but that does NOT mean I have to behave like one.

I am a 18 year old male, but I can tell you right now, sex is not even top 5 in my list, why? It has no real benefits too me, yay a great feeling, but how long does it last? I can feel the burn from weight lifting for days, and I can feel like I am on top of the world for hours after a good Boxing workout/sparring.

My opinion is this: Sex is for marriage. The end, just because your honest about having sex with other humans, doesn't make it right. I can be honest about enjoying hitting people in boxing (not true), but that doesn't mean my reasons for boxing are good. Just because statistics say they might cheat, doesn't mean we should try to make the statistic 100%.

I understand what you mean by the cheating, I just don't believe the concept of Open Marriage is correct.

 

[High_Gravity]

That is depressing, to me personally. I don't see how people can't curb their appetite for sex. They need a gym pass.

When you join the Air Force you will see how many people cheat on their spouse in deployment and how many of the dependent wives slut it up at the base club as soon as their man leaves on deployment. The divorce rates in the Military are through the roof right now, I hooked up with a dependent wife and I outprocessed her husband to Korea, he was gone a whole year and she was slutting it up. Thing is he knew too, because he saw the pics on Myspace. Their still married and she didn't want to leave him because he had an assignment to Italy and she wanted to go.

Just because it happens a lot doesn't mean I should conform to it. I don't care what I see, what matters is, what will I do. I am a human being, a animal, but that does NOT mean I have to behave like one.

I am a 18 year old male, but I can tell you right now, sex is not even top 5 in my list, why? It has no real benefits too me, yay a great feeling, but how long does it last? I can feel the burn from weight lifting for days, and I can feel like I am on top of the world for hours after a good Boxing workout/sparring.

My opinion is this: Sex is for marriage. The end, just because your honest about having sex with other humans, doesn't make it right. I can be honest about enjoying hitting people in boxing (not true), but that doesn't mean my reasons for boxing are good. Just because statistics say they might cheat, doesn't mean we should try to make the statistic 100%.

I understand what you mean by the cheating, I just don't believe the concept of Open Marriage is correct.

I'm not saying open marriage is right or wrong, I am saying it works for some people. I am not saying you should conform to anything, I was telling you some of the things you can expect to see when you join the Military. Sex is a vital part to keep a marriage together, but its not always what makes people cheat. My ex wife said she cheated on me to try and get my attention because I was working 14-15 hour days at my job and was barely around, I cheated on her strictly for revenge to get her back. I am not saying what I did was right, but be careful. Marriage looks great on the outside looking in but there is alot more to it than meets the eye, I can already tell you that single people definently have more sex than their married counter parts, when you get married, settle down and have kids sex goes down on the list of priorities for other things.

I am a 18 year old male, but I can tell you right now, sex is not even top 5 in my list, why? It has no real benefits too me, yay a great feeling, but how long does it last?

It can last a long time my friend. Wait until you hit tech school and meet up with some girls there, you will see what I mean. Just don't marry any of them though.

 

[High_Gravity]

Marriage is not for wimps. Men (some) do not step up and act like men. Women (some) have become callous about sex. If you get married to feed selfish needs, it will not work. Marriage means giving another person as much consideration as you give yourself (in some situations more, in some situations less). People that are more into partying, seldom make a good marriage partner.

Personally speaking, how many "good times" do you need to realize they are all the same... get ready to go (ritual), before buzz (ritual), get there, act happy, smile, compare yourself to everyone else, get smashed so you don't have to remember everyone else's life, late night snack (ritual), go home, feel terribly depressed because nothing that fun really happened, go to sleep, wake up feeling like shit, spend the next week telling yourself if you felt that bad it must have been a good time and then convincing yourself that somehow this coming weekend will be way better.Sorry, I figured out there was a lot of other things that I could be doing early in life. Being married has been great for me. We have our ups and downs, I am married to one of the best ass-chewing people of all time. The first time one boss chewed me out, I was standing there thinking: is that all you got? It has helped me grow as a person and to look beyond myself. Children are awesome. I gave mine to the Lord when they were born, and He raised them to be fine individuals. They still don't act how I would like them to all the time, but I can respect them, and really, I couldn't ask for more. We don't cheat (we have been tempted, but with the Lord's help, rose above that). When you talk in your sleep, you behave yourself when you are awake, because it is really humiliating to realize, you told on yourself.

BTW read recently that 'swingers' do have higher rates of STDs. Been invited to join: first reaction: EWWWWW!!!

You are right but I believe people need to sow their wild oats and get all their partying out of the way before they get married, otherwise it will be a disaster.

 

[José]

I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't have sex and I don't masturbate but sometimes I lie a little.

 

[Cain]

When you join the Air Force you will see how many people cheat on their spouse in deployment and how many of the dependent wives slut it up at the base club as soon as their man leaves on deployment. The divorce rates in the Military are through the roof right now, I hooked up with a dependent wife and I outprocessed her husband to Korea, he was gone a whole year and she was slutting it up. Thing is he knew too, because he saw the pics on Myspace. Their still married and she didn't want to leave him because he had an assignment to Italy and she wanted to go.

Just because it happens a lot doesn't mean I should conform to it. I don't care what I see, what matters is, what will I do. I am a human being, a animal, but that does NOT mean I have to behave like one.

I am a 18 year old male, but I can tell you right now, sex is not even top 5 in my list, why? It has no real benefits too me, yay a great feeling, but how long does it last? I can feel the burn from weight lifting for days, and I can feel like I am on top of the world for hours after a good Boxing workout/sparring.

My opinion is this: Sex is for marriage. The end, just because your honest about having sex with other humans, doesn't make it right. I can be honest about enjoying hitting people in boxing (not true), but that doesn't mean my reasons for boxing are good. Just because statistics say they might cheat, doesn't mean we should try to make the statistic 100%.

I understand what you mean by the cheating, I just don't believe the concept of Open Marriage is correct.

I'm not saying open marriage is right or wrong, I am saying it works for some people. I am not saying you should conform to anything, I was telling you some of the things you can expect to see when you join the Military. Sex is a vital part to keep a marriage together, but its not always what makes people cheat. My ex wife said she cheated on me to try and get my attention because I was working 14-15 hour days at my job and was barely around, I cheated on her strictly for revenge to get her back. I am not saying what I did was right, but be careful. Marriage looks great on the outside looking in but there is alot more to it than meets the eye, I can already tell you that single people definently have more sex than their married counter parts, when you get married, settle down and have kids sex goes down on the list of priorities for other things.

I am a 18 year old male, but I can tell you right now, sex is not even top 5 in my list, why? It has no real benefits too me, yay a great feeling, but how long does it last?

It can last a long time my friend. Wait until you hit tech school and meet up with some girls there, you will see what I mean. Just don't marry any of them though.

Well, I still do not see sex as a major thing, it's a physical action, just like bench press.

Eh, I'll probably be too busy studying and working out, I have some weight lifting goals that are considered "impossible" that I have to prove wrong first.

 

[William Joyce]

Marriage is not just about sex.

There's a marriage with sex?

 

[William Joyce]

I am a 18 year old male, but I can tell you right now, sex is not even top 5 in my list, why? It has no real benefits too me

Cain, the Vatican's on the phone. They have a job offer.