- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
- 85
Does capitalism culture/consciousness make you think of synthesized politeness?
This yarn was inspired by Bulworth (and I believe it's my last one, so thanks for everything USMB!), and I've taken care to watch my grammar and verbosity and adverb/adjective IQ as one USMB'er recommended...
Cheers,
====
"A gang of American psychos were breaking into residential homes on Virginia Beach and decapitating residents with machetes and storing their blood in vials which they left on the footsteps of the police station with the note, 'American cops are stupid.' Virginia legislators and FBI agents and cops were enraged at this incendiary violent message directed toward the authorities. They declared the mask-wearing psycho-gang which they referred to as the Home-Invaders as pure terrorists and hellraisers (and perhaps Devil-worshippers or worse...cannibals)."
"An idealistic Virginia Congressman named Peter Wright (of half-Asian, half-Caucasian descent) declared that this challenge to the Virginia police and lawmakers was a clear sign that new age psychos simply think they can use violence, terror, and anarchy as a convenient 'political platform' in this modern age of great social activity (e.g., Wall Street, WikiLeaks, Dianetics, etc.). Congressman Wright believed that the new mission of the Virginia authorities was to affirm to the world that crime never pays."
"A female Middle Eastern immigrant named Asya who moved to America in the 1980s and was now a Yale professor praised the vigilance of Virginia Congressman Peter Wright and complemented his fiery statements by adding that law and order in modern America must be gauged by considerations of customs, etiquette, civics, and legalese (lest this new age of great social mobilization/networking) yield all kinds of bloodthirsty vigilante instincts which would make cops no different from criminals. Congressman Wright agreed with Professor Asya and replied that citizenry engagement in civil matters was a good sign of modern sanity. Everyone agreed that the Home-Invaders should be declared a national terror. Professor Asya began teaching a sociology course titled Developing Dialectic in Democracy."
"Asya and Peter Wright were both fans of American consumerism and commerce culture and appreciated the creativity and imagination behind socialization themed toys/dolls/games such as Monopoly (Parker Brothers) and the Cabbage Patch Kids. They wanted to hype capitalism as a vehicle for important social vigilance, even though it could be construed by psychos such as the terrifying Home-Invaders as a vehicle for corruption and avarice. Would American toy companies echo this civics-idealism voiced by Asya and Congressman Wright?"
GOD: It seems the Home-Invaders are the new Helter-Skelter!
SATAN: Maybe Congressman Wright is the new Jim Garrison.
GOD: Can toy companies create commercial optimism?
SATAN: Isn't that hope the reason the World Bank was established?
GOD: We need to encourage the notion that trade creates peace.
SATAN: The PyeongChang Olympics saw an alliance between the Koreas.
GOD: That was an achievement for the Trump Administration in a way.
SATAN: Yes, it was (in a way).
GOD: Maybe all we need to 'govern capitalism' is fair-practice and teamwork.
SATAN: American cops are tired of Dunkin' Donuts jokes!
GOD: The Home-Invaders think capitalism is a 'platform' for crime.
SATAN: That's what the Manson Family believed about modern media...
GOD: Is crime equivalent to insanity (or bankruptcy)?
SATAN: Capitalism systemics require behaviour-based civil governance.
GOD: Are you referring to 'safeties' such as the IRS and student financial-aid?
SATAN: Yes. We need to 'blend' commerce with etiquette (as Professor Asya advised).
GOD: Yes, Asya was very wise about the 'development' of customs.
SATAN: Hopefully the Home-Invaders will not become a 'venomous Waco.'
====
This yarn was inspired by Bulworth (and I believe it's my last one, so thanks for everything USMB!), and I've taken care to watch my grammar and verbosity and adverb/adjective IQ as one USMB'er recommended...
Cheers,
====
"A gang of American psychos were breaking into residential homes on Virginia Beach and decapitating residents with machetes and storing their blood in vials which they left on the footsteps of the police station with the note, 'American cops are stupid.' Virginia legislators and FBI agents and cops were enraged at this incendiary violent message directed toward the authorities. They declared the mask-wearing psycho-gang which they referred to as the Home-Invaders as pure terrorists and hellraisers (and perhaps Devil-worshippers or worse...cannibals)."
"An idealistic Virginia Congressman named Peter Wright (of half-Asian, half-Caucasian descent) declared that this challenge to the Virginia police and lawmakers was a clear sign that new age psychos simply think they can use violence, terror, and anarchy as a convenient 'political platform' in this modern age of great social activity (e.g., Wall Street, WikiLeaks, Dianetics, etc.). Congressman Wright believed that the new mission of the Virginia authorities was to affirm to the world that crime never pays."
"A female Middle Eastern immigrant named Asya who moved to America in the 1980s and was now a Yale professor praised the vigilance of Virginia Congressman Peter Wright and complemented his fiery statements by adding that law and order in modern America must be gauged by considerations of customs, etiquette, civics, and legalese (lest this new age of great social mobilization/networking) yield all kinds of bloodthirsty vigilante instincts which would make cops no different from criminals. Congressman Wright agreed with Professor Asya and replied that citizenry engagement in civil matters was a good sign of modern sanity. Everyone agreed that the Home-Invaders should be declared a national terror. Professor Asya began teaching a sociology course titled Developing Dialectic in Democracy."
"Asya and Peter Wright were both fans of American consumerism and commerce culture and appreciated the creativity and imagination behind socialization themed toys/dolls/games such as Monopoly (Parker Brothers) and the Cabbage Patch Kids. They wanted to hype capitalism as a vehicle for important social vigilance, even though it could be construed by psychos such as the terrifying Home-Invaders as a vehicle for corruption and avarice. Would American toy companies echo this civics-idealism voiced by Asya and Congressman Wright?"
GOD: It seems the Home-Invaders are the new Helter-Skelter!
SATAN: Maybe Congressman Wright is the new Jim Garrison.
GOD: Can toy companies create commercial optimism?
SATAN: Isn't that hope the reason the World Bank was established?
GOD: We need to encourage the notion that trade creates peace.
SATAN: The PyeongChang Olympics saw an alliance between the Koreas.
GOD: That was an achievement for the Trump Administration in a way.
SATAN: Yes, it was (in a way).
GOD: Maybe all we need to 'govern capitalism' is fair-practice and teamwork.
SATAN: American cops are tired of Dunkin' Donuts jokes!
GOD: The Home-Invaders think capitalism is a 'platform' for crime.
SATAN: That's what the Manson Family believed about modern media...
GOD: Is crime equivalent to insanity (or bankruptcy)?
SATAN: Capitalism systemics require behaviour-based civil governance.
GOD: Are you referring to 'safeties' such as the IRS and student financial-aid?
SATAN: Yes. We need to 'blend' commerce with etiquette (as Professor Asya advised).
GOD: Yes, Asya was very wise about the 'development' of customs.
SATAN: Hopefully the Home-Invaders will not become a 'venomous Waco.'
====
