- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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Here's a light-hearted anti-consumerism vigilantism tale inspired by the vigilance-funhouse films Mystery Men and Batteries Not Included.
Enjoy!
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Elmer was a true mad scientist and wanted to be an American vigilante. He was fed up with America's preoccupation with consumerism and shopping and its endless addiction to Facebook, eBay, and of course, Wall Street. Elmer decided to become a 'maniac cop' and donned himself a red-and-black vigilante costume and mask and called himself the Scarlet Knight. Scarlet Knight had a knowledge of botany, zoology, chemistry, and biology and wanted to use his 'mad scientist' attitude to create something truly disruptive to America's culture of gluttony.
Scarlet Knight (Elmer) designed a series of mechanical red-ants which marched in unison and could be prompted from his laptop using a simple generative algorithm. Scarlet Knight called his army of robotic red-ants the Scarlet Stingers, since each robotic red-ant was equipped with a stinging dart which instantly tranquilized anyone it pierced. Scarlet Knight released his army of Scarlet Stingers onto the State of the Union address by President Donald Trump, and the robotic ants stung and sedated countless American politicians, and the entire calamity was caught on TV.
Scarlet Knight became an overnight 'celebrity.' He even sent an anonymous notice to the Washington Post in which he wrote, "Trump's commerce-centric government has been stormed by a sea of robotic red-ants which will serve to forever remind Americans of the dangers of catering to consumerism-floweries at the expense of Mother Nature. Every time we see a State of the Union address on TV, we will remember the eeriness of the robotic ants which literally stung our complacencies!" Scarlet Knight then decided to travel to California to make a statement about the legalization of marijuana.
In California, much was changing due to the nature of evolving American politics. The entire nation was still hypothesizing the identity of the elusive 'mad scientist' who released the robotic stinging red-ants onto the State of the Union address, and Scarlet Knight now believed his army of 'Scarlet Stingers' were forever immortalized as 'messengers of anti-capitalism.' In California, a ruthless venture capitalist referring to himself as Kingpin read about the robotic red-ants and grew furious, envious of the media attention afforded to the 'mad scientist' culprit and how it took attention away from his own derring-do --- his exploitative contracted hydroelectric dam in South America and a narcotics operation stretching all across North America.
Kingpin and Scarlet Knight were now on opposite sides of the mirror. Scarlet Knight was busy planning a new invasion of his Scarlet Stingers, possibly as the Salk Institute in San Diego, to deliver a new message about the prudence of marijuana-legalization in this modern age of 'shopping frenzy' and Wall Street gibberish. Kingpin, meanwhile, decided to 'upstage' Scarlet Knight's vigilante deed and his robotic stinging red-ants by planning a tear-gas terrorist heist of Fort Knox. After doing so, Kingpin would send an anonymous post to the LA Times which would read, "Perhaps our undiscovered 'mad scientist's' army of robotic stinging red-ants has delivered home the message of anti-consumerism rage, but this cunning heist of Fort Knox should also remind the world that capitalism is equally a 'piracy-venture' as well as a 'fortune-crusade'!"
The press started calling Kingpin's heist of Fort Knox and Scarlet Knight's feat of his army of Scarlet Stingers as clear signs of modern age civil unrest and pedestrian spiritual dissatisfaction with basic consumerism-culture, capitalism/profiteerism, and of course, unethical civics. However, the press remained divided as to whether or not Scarlet Knight was a crusader or simply a terrorism-oriented maniac like Kingpin. Kingpin was delighted at this ambiguity and suggested that his burglary-centric feats had effectively catalyzed celebrity-hysteria to blur the possibility that Scarlet Knight was actually a well-intentioned prophet! Scarlet Knight remarked to himself, "The Dystopian War has begun..."
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Enjoy!
====
Elmer was a true mad scientist and wanted to be an American vigilante. He was fed up with America's preoccupation with consumerism and shopping and its endless addiction to Facebook, eBay, and of course, Wall Street. Elmer decided to become a 'maniac cop' and donned himself a red-and-black vigilante costume and mask and called himself the Scarlet Knight. Scarlet Knight had a knowledge of botany, zoology, chemistry, and biology and wanted to use his 'mad scientist' attitude to create something truly disruptive to America's culture of gluttony.
Scarlet Knight (Elmer) designed a series of mechanical red-ants which marched in unison and could be prompted from his laptop using a simple generative algorithm. Scarlet Knight called his army of robotic red-ants the Scarlet Stingers, since each robotic red-ant was equipped with a stinging dart which instantly tranquilized anyone it pierced. Scarlet Knight released his army of Scarlet Stingers onto the State of the Union address by President Donald Trump, and the robotic ants stung and sedated countless American politicians, and the entire calamity was caught on TV.
Scarlet Knight became an overnight 'celebrity.' He even sent an anonymous notice to the Washington Post in which he wrote, "Trump's commerce-centric government has been stormed by a sea of robotic red-ants which will serve to forever remind Americans of the dangers of catering to consumerism-floweries at the expense of Mother Nature. Every time we see a State of the Union address on TV, we will remember the eeriness of the robotic ants which literally stung our complacencies!" Scarlet Knight then decided to travel to California to make a statement about the legalization of marijuana.
In California, much was changing due to the nature of evolving American politics. The entire nation was still hypothesizing the identity of the elusive 'mad scientist' who released the robotic stinging red-ants onto the State of the Union address, and Scarlet Knight now believed his army of 'Scarlet Stingers' were forever immortalized as 'messengers of anti-capitalism.' In California, a ruthless venture capitalist referring to himself as Kingpin read about the robotic red-ants and grew furious, envious of the media attention afforded to the 'mad scientist' culprit and how it took attention away from his own derring-do --- his exploitative contracted hydroelectric dam in South America and a narcotics operation stretching all across North America.
Kingpin and Scarlet Knight were now on opposite sides of the mirror. Scarlet Knight was busy planning a new invasion of his Scarlet Stingers, possibly as the Salk Institute in San Diego, to deliver a new message about the prudence of marijuana-legalization in this modern age of 'shopping frenzy' and Wall Street gibberish. Kingpin, meanwhile, decided to 'upstage' Scarlet Knight's vigilante deed and his robotic stinging red-ants by planning a tear-gas terrorist heist of Fort Knox. After doing so, Kingpin would send an anonymous post to the LA Times which would read, "Perhaps our undiscovered 'mad scientist's' army of robotic stinging red-ants has delivered home the message of anti-consumerism rage, but this cunning heist of Fort Knox should also remind the world that capitalism is equally a 'piracy-venture' as well as a 'fortune-crusade'!"
The press started calling Kingpin's heist of Fort Knox and Scarlet Knight's feat of his army of Scarlet Stingers as clear signs of modern age civil unrest and pedestrian spiritual dissatisfaction with basic consumerism-culture, capitalism/profiteerism, and of course, unethical civics. However, the press remained divided as to whether or not Scarlet Knight was a crusader or simply a terrorism-oriented maniac like Kingpin. Kingpin was delighted at this ambiguity and suggested that his burglary-centric feats had effectively catalyzed celebrity-hysteria to blur the possibility that Scarlet Knight was actually a well-intentioned prophet! Scarlet Knight remarked to himself, "The Dystopian War has begun..."
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