- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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Is the age of media and celebrity like a circus or vanity-popcorn, or can it induce in us some entertaining mysticism parody-storytelling?
This little parody was inspired by Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Cheers,
====
As Tom Cruise (America's favorite celebrity) watched the mythical Lady of the Lake (enigmatic woman said to possess the authority to wield the magical sword Excalibur to a worthy king or knight) from a distance while on vacation in England, he wondered if a human being had the right to witness/see such a fabled beauty. Though he only glimpsed her silhouette during sunrise, Cruise was sure that what he was nothing less than a muse of pure Utopian beauty, and he wondered if Americans had earned the right to praise such a woman in Victoria's Secret and Playboy magazines. Cruise was stupefied for the first time in his storied life.
As we all know, the Lady of the Lake is very interesting and very unusual. She wields Excalibur, yes, and she also serves as a generic muse for men who are anxious about finding true love and simply want a model or angel to remind them that God forgives them if they are simply unable to embrace the joys of love and intimacy (because of a genetic birth defect or handicap or mental illness). However, the Lady of the Lake is also a muse of immortal beauty and seduction, so this odd contrast suggests that she reminds men of the general 'mystery' of love (in all its forms). That's why she simply stupefied Tom Cruise (an otherwise legendary super-celebrity!).
Ironically enough, on the same day, a dad and his daughter were by the same lake Cruise was and were simply fishing. It was in the early hours of the morning that the daughter (Monica) saw the Lady of the Lake too, so she told her dad (Steven) who was at the time busy trying to teach her how to hold a fishing-rod(!). Steven looked up and couldn't believe his eyes! However, it wasn't Tom Cruise or the Lady of the Lake that startled Steven. Steven realized that just across the way, a demonic psychopath wielding a chainsaw was also staring at the Lady of the Lake. This ghoul was some kind of Leatherface (fictional chainsaw-wielding cannibal from iconic Texas Chainsaw Massacre horror-film franchise) 'copycat.' Steven jumped up and tried to signal to Cruise and the Lady of the Lake that the psycho was watching them (and Monica was yelling towards them too to warn them)!
This Leatherface 'copycat' was no ordinary stalker or obsessive voyeur. He seemed transfixed by the odd haunting quality of the shimmering water in the sunrise expanding light. This psycho seemed intent on expressing the thought that there was a 'dark side' to all illuminating and imaginative thoughts/ideas/images regarding the translucent beauty and splendour of love, friendship, and feminine allure. This Leatherface 'copycat' scared the living daylights out of Tom Cruise, but as Steven and Monica yelled towards Cruise and the Lady of the Lake, the Leatherface 'copycat' seemed to become embarrassed and started walking away, but just before he did, he raised up his chainsaw, and an 'anti-divine' spark of lighting struck the chainsaw, and he turned it on to scare Cruise and the Lady of the Lake before disappearing completely.
STEVEN: Cruise and the Lady should retreat immediately!
MONICA: Yeah, they should get the heck out of there...
STEVEN: Geez, look that electric chainsaw!
MONICA: That monster is really evil...
STEVEN: Hopefully, they saw us warning them.
MONICA: I think they did, and I'm sure they're not crazy!
STEVEN: No, I think they're just idling, and that crazy psycho was waiting there.
MONICA: He didn't expect us to show up, did he, daddy?
STEVEN: He sure didn't, darling, but he seems to be leaving.
MONICA: Yes, his chainsaw-show has ended!
STEVEN: Did you see that lighting-strike?
MONICA: I sure did...
STEVEN: Let's go home and tell the cops.
MONICA: No one will believe us.
STEVEN: Maybe Tom Cruise will vouch for us.
MONICA: No way, they'll say he's crazy too!
Steven and Monica never told anyone what they saw or what happened, and there was never any mention again of what went on by that English lake that day when Tom Cruise saw the haunting and alluring silhouette of the fantastic Lady of the Lake! Steven and Monica decided to put the entire incident behind them, since they knew, of course, that since that psychotic Leatherface 'copycat' never again surfaced in the news, there was no real reason to make any 'waves.' However, they promised to also never to return to that lake again. Monica asked her dad if he was interested in pursuing or searching for the Lady of the Lake himself (to court her or approach her as a friend or love-interest), but Steven explained, "No, darling. This is the age of media and celebrities. Now that the Lady of the Lake has seen that fantastic movie-star Tom Cruise, she'll never be interested in me, and besides, I'm content just being your dad(!)." Steven and Monica patiently waited, though, to see if there was anything in the news about what Tom Cruise would report.
THE END.
====
This little parody was inspired by Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Cheers,
====
As Tom Cruise (America's favorite celebrity) watched the mythical Lady of the Lake (enigmatic woman said to possess the authority to wield the magical sword Excalibur to a worthy king or knight) from a distance while on vacation in England, he wondered if a human being had the right to witness/see such a fabled beauty. Though he only glimpsed her silhouette during sunrise, Cruise was sure that what he was nothing less than a muse of pure Utopian beauty, and he wondered if Americans had earned the right to praise such a woman in Victoria's Secret and Playboy magazines. Cruise was stupefied for the first time in his storied life.
As we all know, the Lady of the Lake is very interesting and very unusual. She wields Excalibur, yes, and she also serves as a generic muse for men who are anxious about finding true love and simply want a model or angel to remind them that God forgives them if they are simply unable to embrace the joys of love and intimacy (because of a genetic birth defect or handicap or mental illness). However, the Lady of the Lake is also a muse of immortal beauty and seduction, so this odd contrast suggests that she reminds men of the general 'mystery' of love (in all its forms). That's why she simply stupefied Tom Cruise (an otherwise legendary super-celebrity!).
Ironically enough, on the same day, a dad and his daughter were by the same lake Cruise was and were simply fishing. It was in the early hours of the morning that the daughter (Monica) saw the Lady of the Lake too, so she told her dad (Steven) who was at the time busy trying to teach her how to hold a fishing-rod(!). Steven looked up and couldn't believe his eyes! However, it wasn't Tom Cruise or the Lady of the Lake that startled Steven. Steven realized that just across the way, a demonic psychopath wielding a chainsaw was also staring at the Lady of the Lake. This ghoul was some kind of Leatherface (fictional chainsaw-wielding cannibal from iconic Texas Chainsaw Massacre horror-film franchise) 'copycat.' Steven jumped up and tried to signal to Cruise and the Lady of the Lake that the psycho was watching them (and Monica was yelling towards them too to warn them)!
This Leatherface 'copycat' was no ordinary stalker or obsessive voyeur. He seemed transfixed by the odd haunting quality of the shimmering water in the sunrise expanding light. This psycho seemed intent on expressing the thought that there was a 'dark side' to all illuminating and imaginative thoughts/ideas/images regarding the translucent beauty and splendour of love, friendship, and feminine allure. This Leatherface 'copycat' scared the living daylights out of Tom Cruise, but as Steven and Monica yelled towards Cruise and the Lady of the Lake, the Leatherface 'copycat' seemed to become embarrassed and started walking away, but just before he did, he raised up his chainsaw, and an 'anti-divine' spark of lighting struck the chainsaw, and he turned it on to scare Cruise and the Lady of the Lake before disappearing completely.
STEVEN: Cruise and the Lady should retreat immediately!
MONICA: Yeah, they should get the heck out of there...
STEVEN: Geez, look that electric chainsaw!
MONICA: That monster is really evil...
STEVEN: Hopefully, they saw us warning them.
MONICA: I think they did, and I'm sure they're not crazy!
STEVEN: No, I think they're just idling, and that crazy psycho was waiting there.
MONICA: He didn't expect us to show up, did he, daddy?
STEVEN: He sure didn't, darling, but he seems to be leaving.
MONICA: Yes, his chainsaw-show has ended!
STEVEN: Did you see that lighting-strike?
MONICA: I sure did...
STEVEN: Let's go home and tell the cops.
MONICA: No one will believe us.
STEVEN: Maybe Tom Cruise will vouch for us.
MONICA: No way, they'll say he's crazy too!
Steven and Monica never told anyone what they saw or what happened, and there was never any mention again of what went on by that English lake that day when Tom Cruise saw the haunting and alluring silhouette of the fantastic Lady of the Lake! Steven and Monica decided to put the entire incident behind them, since they knew, of course, that since that psychotic Leatherface 'copycat' never again surfaced in the news, there was no real reason to make any 'waves.' However, they promised to also never to return to that lake again. Monica asked her dad if he was interested in pursuing or searching for the Lady of the Lake himself (to court her or approach her as a friend or love-interest), but Steven explained, "No, darling. This is the age of media and celebrities. Now that the Lady of the Lake has seen that fantastic movie-star Tom Cruise, she'll never be interested in me, and besides, I'm content just being your dad(!)." Steven and Monica patiently waited, though, to see if there was anything in the news about what Tom Cruise would report.
THE END.
====
