Jellyfish Bad Day???

[NoEconomist]

This is even funnier when you realize it's real!


Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.

She then sent it to radio station 103 .5 on FM dial in
Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.

Read his letter below...


Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office.

I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.

I wear a suit to the office.

It's a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool.

So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.

It heats it to a delightful temperature.

It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.

This floods my whole suit with warm water.

It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch.

So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my ass started to burn.

I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.

In agony I realized what had happened.


The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.

His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say, I aborted the dive. .

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but
my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad dayat work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day,ask yourself, is this a
jellyfish bad day?

 

[waltky]

A plethora o' jelly fish...

Jellyfish wash up 'like wallpaper' on Australian beach
Fri, 03 Feb 2017 - The rare sight of thousands of jellyfish stranded in Australia surprises locals and marine experts.

Charlotte Lawson, 24, took photos of the jellyfish at Queensland's Deception Bay after noticing an unusual colour in the water. "[When] we got closer we realised it was jellyfish," she told the BBC. "It was like bubble wrap across the beach." Although a common sight on Australia's east coast, the mildly venomous marine stinger is rarely seen in such numbers.

Jellyfish cover the beach at Deception Bay in Queensland​

Marine biologist Lisa-Ann Gershwin said she gasped when she saw the pictures. "It's like wallpaper," she said. "They are just cheek by jowl. They are packed so tightly. It's a sea of blue." Dr Gershwin said the phenomenon was probably caused by a combination of factors including warmer waters, abundant nutrients and an absence of predators.

The density of the stranding has surprised experts​

Northerly winds and tide conditions may have also contributed, she said. Ms Lawson said she had never seen so many jellyfish. They had started to smell "pretty rank", attracting complaints from locals, she said. Dr Gershwin said she expected the jellyfish to dry out on the sand and be eaten by birds.

Others species washing up

The Sunshine Coast Daily reported that recent strong north-easterly winds had contributed to a spike in jellyfish sightings. According to Surf Life Saving Queensland, more than 22,800 swimmers were treated for stings by another jellyfish species, the bluebottle, on the Sunshine Coast from 1 December to 31 January.

The blue blubber, or catostylus mosaicus, is a common sight in south-east Queensland​

Dr Dan Capps said he treated three dogs for stings at his Sunshine Coast veterinary clinic at the weekend. "We've had a prevalence of bluebottle jellyfish and other fire-type stingers on the Sunshine Coast," Dr Capps told the BBC. "Some dogs have been eating them and its a very painful experience for them."

Jellyfish wash up 'like wallpaper' on Australian beach - BBC News