- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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This is a consumerism-gender parable (my last one I think!) inspired by the consumption-monstrosity film Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Signing off,
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Jazil was a vicious brooding handsome young Romanian vampire who'd been challenged by the Cossack vigilante known simply as 'The Crow.' Jazil believed the world should be inherited by vampires, but the Crow made it his own special mission to eradicate the terrorism created by vampires across Europe (especially those in Romania descended from Dracula --- such as Jazil!). Jazil and the Crow talked a great deal about the 'feminine mystique' (ironically).
JAZIL: Women are the lifeblood of modern consumerism.
CROW: Why? Because they like to go shopping?
JAZIL: Precisely. Black Friday (the shopping-day after Thanksgiving) should be Housewife Day.
CROW: Housewives love to shop (when they can) with their husbands' credit cards.
JAZIL: It feels like using credit cards is a blood-sucking experience...
CROW: Don't compare civilization to vampirism, Jazil.
JAZIL: Why not? Do consumers/capitalists even care about the 'feminine mystique'?
CROW: I doubt your average American shopper wants to be 'taught' by a vampire.
JAZIL: When I see the female mermaid-siren Starbucks logo, I think of fertility!
CROW: Don't be sarcastic. Consumerism doesn't destroy the 'feminine mystique.'
JAZIL: Are you sure? What about chronic obesity in women created by 'cholesterol-culture'?
CROW: There's an ocean of difference between Burger King and the Third Reich.
JAZIL: Really? Why then do black women on welfare have children to get funding?
CROW: For the same reason black males commit crimes to get a bed in jail...
JAZIL: Poverty is not justification for bias.
CROW: I suppose you propose we 'devour' the poor...
Jazil realized the Crow was very sincere about links between democratic idealism and consumerism, even though Jazil tried to convince the Crow that capitalism bred all kinds of gluttony and a 'special' brand of vampirism. The Crow reminded Jazil that an 'anemic culture' was not necessarily equivalent to a Wall Street emptiness, but Jazil insisted that Burger King Americans neglected the vitality of female fertility. That's when the Crow realized Jazil was simply talking about consumption of female blood as an act of 'defiance.'
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{THE CROW & JAZIL}
Signing off,
====
Jazil was a vicious brooding handsome young Romanian vampire who'd been challenged by the Cossack vigilante known simply as 'The Crow.' Jazil believed the world should be inherited by vampires, but the Crow made it his own special mission to eradicate the terrorism created by vampires across Europe (especially those in Romania descended from Dracula --- such as Jazil!). Jazil and the Crow talked a great deal about the 'feminine mystique' (ironically).
JAZIL: Women are the lifeblood of modern consumerism.
CROW: Why? Because they like to go shopping?
JAZIL: Precisely. Black Friday (the shopping-day after Thanksgiving) should be Housewife Day.
CROW: Housewives love to shop (when they can) with their husbands' credit cards.
JAZIL: It feels like using credit cards is a blood-sucking experience...
CROW: Don't compare civilization to vampirism, Jazil.
JAZIL: Why not? Do consumers/capitalists even care about the 'feminine mystique'?
CROW: I doubt your average American shopper wants to be 'taught' by a vampire.
JAZIL: When I see the female mermaid-siren Starbucks logo, I think of fertility!
CROW: Don't be sarcastic. Consumerism doesn't destroy the 'feminine mystique.'
JAZIL: Are you sure? What about chronic obesity in women created by 'cholesterol-culture'?
CROW: There's an ocean of difference between Burger King and the Third Reich.
JAZIL: Really? Why then do black women on welfare have children to get funding?
CROW: For the same reason black males commit crimes to get a bed in jail...
JAZIL: Poverty is not justification for bias.
CROW: I suppose you propose we 'devour' the poor...
Jazil realized the Crow was very sincere about links between democratic idealism and consumerism, even though Jazil tried to convince the Crow that capitalism bred all kinds of gluttony and a 'special' brand of vampirism. The Crow reminded Jazil that an 'anemic culture' was not necessarily equivalent to a Wall Street emptiness, but Jazil insisted that Burger King Americans neglected the vitality of female fertility. That's when the Crow realized Jazil was simply talking about consumption of female blood as an act of 'defiance.'
====
{THE CROW & JAZIL}
