Zone1 I've Reached That Point Where I Have To Place My Wife In A Assisted Living Facility Focusing On Memory Treatment

[mudwhistle]

Yes, they immediately resort to opioids which pisses me off. They did that to a friend of mine and she went downhill fast.

I saw what the drugs were doing to her and I took her off of them.
I just started giving her Tylenol.
She has no pain now.

 

[westwall]

I saw what the drugs were doing to her and I took her off of them.
I just started giving her Tylenol.
She has no pain now.

I visited my friend in the rehab facility and she was fine. The next day she was out of it. I checked and contrary to my order they had administered an opioid. I pulled her out of that facility that day, and moved her to my home. But the damage was already done. She just faded away over a period of two weeks.

Made me so angry.

 

[mudwhistle]

So sorry to hear this as well. It appears that many of us have had to deal with this situation. My mother after her stroke came to live with us. And she stayed until she became angry with me for no particular reason. We let her go home and my brother would check on her every morning/every evening. He was happy to do it. We were all determined not to put her in a nursing home. Thankfully or not, she had her final stroke and we were not faced with that situation. Miss her all the time. Unlike your situation, there were many of us. You do what you have to do...you do what is best for the one you love.

My mom had a stroke when I was 9 years old.
I helped take care of her until I joined the service on my 18th birthday.
She lived till she was 93.

 

[Leo123]

Once you let the state into your home you have no privacy.
They can pull an inspection and tell you that you have to remove what they deem is a safety hazard or claim you own too many guns.
I don't want the state poking their noses into my business.

There are private home care companies. I got one for my dad and stepmother. It just depends on how much help is needed but they stayed in their home until they both passed away. I could not be there every day with them.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

My wife is pretty thoughtful. She is reverting back to her childhood a bit.

I keep finding her makeshift chamber pots.

My dad would walk right past the bathroom into the kitchen to shit in a pot or bowl. I would throw it out. He had gangrene in his leg. I took him to the emergency room. He told the doctor not to touch him. So, no treatment. Fortunately I got a detailed medical report in case the police showed up. But, the police knew us well anyway.

 

[Leo123]

and empathy seems to be one of first things they lose

Yes, very sad.

 

[mudwhistle]

I visited my friend in the rehab facility and she was fine. The next day she was out of it. I checked and contrary to my order they had administered an opioid. I pulled her out of that facility that day, and moved her to my home. But the damage was already done. She just faded away over a period of two weeks.

Made me so angry.

When my wife had her second hip surgery they were giving her that stuff and she started hallucinating. It was almost midnight and I was driving home from the hospital in Nashville to Clarksville where I live and some nurse calls me saying my wife is flipping out and I need to come get her.
I got there and calmed her down enough to stay there a few more days.
Right now I figure they might as well put a bullet in my head because I'm not staying another day in a hospital till they stop trying to kill people.

 

[Calypso Jones]

My niece offered to come over from North Carolina to help take care of her, but the last time she visited I ended up cooking and cleaning behind her and her boyfriend for about a month.

i've had help like that before too....makes you realize that you're better off without some folks help.

 

[The Duke]

It's going to cost me roughly $4000/mo to put my wife in a clean and safe facility so that she can live out her last years in an environment that is conducive for her health and mine.

Today I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack.

I think I've found a place about 3 miles away from my house. A place I've driven by often.

We'll see how everything turns out.....but I'm just about at the end of my rope.

I'm sorry. That's bigtime rough there.

 

[hjmick]

It's going to cost me roughly $4000/mo to put my wife in a clean and safe facility so that she can live out her last years in an environment that is conducive for her health and mine.

Today I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack.

I think I've found a place about 3 miles away from my house. A place I've driven by often.

We'll see how everything turns out.....but I'm just about at the end of my rope.

Hang in there, mud.

 

[Calypso Jones]

My mom had a stroke when I was 9 years old.
I helped take care of her until I joined the service on my 18th birthday.
She lived till she was 93.

That was a blessing. She was young and healthy and i think the young/healthy do so much better. There is a thing called WILL to Live. I've watched a friend's daughter with what they called terminal cancer now in her ninth year of dealing with it. She had small children and she was determined to be there for them. I;ll bet your mom was much the same.

 

[mudwhistle]

That was a blessing. She was young and healthy and i think the young/healthy do so much better. There is a thing called WILL to Live. I've watched a friend's daughter with what they called terminal cancer now in her ninth year of dealing with it. She had small children and she was determined to be there for them. I;ll bet your mom was much the same.

She outlived my Dad by 16 years. He had heart bypass surgery and was never the same.
He eventually died of Prostate Cancer.

 

[Foxfyre]

They said the VA can pay $1400 of it.

That would certainly be a help. But hopefully you can research and find some additional help as well.

My Aunt Betty was 97 years old last months and up until recently was sharp as a tack. But in recent weeks I've noticed some definite cognitive deterioration. I suspect the time is coming that she will need to leave her independent living setup and go into assisted living. She will be miserable though if she is aware. But at least she has financial resources to handle it.

There is pretty much no dementia in my family but both of Hombre's parents and others of his family were pretty much out of it in their last years. So far he's hanging in there, but if he should have to go into assisted living I'll be right there in the same financial boat as you.

 

[Calypso Jones]

Growing old is not for cowards. mudwhistle

 

[mudwhistle]

That would certainly be a help. But hopefully you can research and find some additional help as well.

We'll see what happens.

 

[BULLDOG]

Yeah. I'm a pretty forgiving person.
I just wish everyone else was that way.

I think most are. Don't think this means I'll cut you any slack on other issues, but all that is different.

 

[Manonthestreet]

Do you have any type of help to assist you? Mom and Dad both ended up in memory care, Dad because he was old, Mom because she had ahlzeimers. Was not impressed. Mom was supposedly in the best facility for that and they let her crawl around on the floor. Dad they outright killed after getting him on hospice so he could avail himself of "more services" and the facility wouldnt be so burdened.
there were Five of us in town and at points dad wore all of us out at same time.

 

[Magnus]

It's going to cost me roughly $4000/mo to put my wife in a clean and safe facility so that she can live out her last years in an environment that is conducive for her health and mine.

Today I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack.

I think I've found a place about 3 miles away from my house. A place I've driven by often.

We'll see how everything turns out.....but I'm just about at the end of my rope.

Sorry to hear this. Hope you both find peace. God bless.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

So sorry to hear this Mud,hang in there and do what you can to keep her happy.

 

[Crepitus]

It's going to cost me roughly $4000/mo to put my wife in a clean and safe facility so that she can live out her last years in an environment that is conducive for her health and mine.

Today I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack.

I think I've found a place about 3 miles away from my house. A place I've driven by often.

We'll see how everything turns out.....but I'm just about at the end of my rope.

You know what, We've had our differences, some of them verbally quite rambunctious, but today my heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine the sorrow you feel and for what it's worth I offer my heartfelt condolences.