Interview: Muslim suicide bomber

Discussion in 'Religion and Ethics' started by jimnyc, Oct 30, 2003.

  1. jimnyc
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    jimnyc ...

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    Tarik Shalek is 20 years old, single, and has the best job in the world. He's a suicide bomber.
    I interviewed him in Jerusalém. What will he blow soon?

    To melt down the ice between us I offered him a cigarette.

    - Want a cigarette?
    -No way, I don't smoke. Smoking kills, you know?

    - Why are you a suicide bomber?
    - I didn't have much a choice. My father was a suicide bomber, my grandfather was a suicide bomber. Since I am the first son, I didn't have much a choice. I must go on with the family business. It's in my blood, and soon it will be spilled in a wall.

    - Your family, how did they reacted?
    -They knew I wanted to follow my grandfather's trigger. My brothers look at me with respect. They know that a suicide bomber is a man that wins in life. My mum, she accepted the idea. But she forced me to end high-school. She said that a man without education is nothing, and if my career as a suicide bomber goes bad, I need something to hold on. If I have hands.... She said, "one thing is crippled, and another thing is crippled and stupid".

    -How do you conciliate studying with your preparation for the suicide?
    -It's hard. I'm in my classroom, and I only think about the attack, my head is in the clouds...

    -Well, that's a good practice. Do you know how you're going to perform the suicide?
    -You never control those things. I'm just afraid of trigging the bomb in a bus and it doesn't blow up. Imagine, all those jews laughing, it's like a nightmare that you usuallly have when you're a kid- you go naked to school, and people start laughing.

    -After blowing up, what do you expect?
    -I'll be near the prophet and I'll have 70 virgins! 70 virgins just for me!

    -Have you been with a virgin?
    -My sister.

    -I mean sexually?
    -Nope.

    -Do you know the work you have with a virgin? Convince her to go to bed with you, convince her that you love her, and that no one, no one will think that she's a hore just for sleeping with you. Then it comes sex. It must be with lights out, she won't move, she'll complain that is hurting. There is all that blood. Anal sex, is out of question. And in the end, she grabs herself to you, with so much strengh, that you will only be able to go the bathroom when it's 8 a.m.
    -I didn't know that.

    -Worst of all, it doesn't matter how bad you were. She'll always look at you as the "first". She'll think that you two have a special bound and never want to let you go. This is with one virgin, now imagine 70!
    -Never thought of that. No wonder they call it eternity....
     
  2. janeeng
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    Is this crap for real? that's some sick shit!
     
  3. Aquarian
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    HA! parts of that were pretty funny, but then I have a sometimes sick sense of humor :) sure it shouldn't be in the humor section? <wink>
     
  4. jimnyc
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    jimnyc ...

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    I'm sure the peace loving people will see the humor in it. :D

    Unfortunately, I see a bit of truth in the mock interview as well. :(
     

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