I'm a little worried about Nancy Pelosi

[Votto]

Just the other day, Nancy was pulled over for speeding. Her limo driver was then handed a ticket by the policeman, but Nancy reached across the seat and ripped it up in front of the policeman screaming, "No!".

Then the same day she goes to confessional as her priest reminded her of the official stance by her church on abortion that it was mass genocide. Nancy then demanded to see the written policy on it and then ripped that up as well in front of the priest screaming, "No!!"

To date, Nancy's high priced lawyer has beaten the speeding charge as the policeman's family is now being targeted by the IRS, but it remains to be seen if Nancy's lawyer has contacted the Almighty and whether the IRS is investigating Him as well.

 

[Votto]

So Nancy Pelosi accidentally gets into heaven and sent an engineer to hell in her stead.

The engineer found himself at the pearly gates. St. Peter looked him up in the book, and found that he was destined for the other place. The engineer protested that this must be a mistake, and that he had lived a righteous life, going to church every week, being faithful to his wife etc. to no avail. About 6 weeks later God reviews the lists and realizes that the engineer has been sent to the wrong place. So he rings up Lucifer and demands that the engineer be sent up. Lucifer says "NO WAY. This guy was the best thing to ever happen here. He's got the AC working, we have running water and cable now too, and next week he thinks we will get internet access and an ice cream machine." God is pissed and yelling says "I'll sue". Lucifer says "ya okay, but where are you going to get a lawyer?"

As soon as God turned his head Nancy then tore up those on the heaven list.

"It won't do you any good Nancy", God said, as fire boy already stated, I succinctly remember NO lawyers being on it so I don't need to even refer to the book, but nice try."