A patron goes into a resturant and picks up his menu. Waiter - "Hi, I'm Karl, and I'll be your waiter tonight. We have some Lovely Romney Tofu on special." Conservative - "Ugh- Tofu? I'm a red meat conservative. Give me the Bachmann Beef." Waiter - "You don't want that. Mad Cow Disease! You really should try the Tofu." Con - "Ummmm. OKay. I'll have the Perry Chicken." Waiter- "OOOH, you don't want that. Bird Flu. The Tofu really is nice." Con- "Errr, how about the Cain Turkey?" Waiter- "Oh, no, that's 99.9% toxic. But Tofu is awesome!" Con- "How about the Gingrich Pork Chop. That sounds good." Waiter- "Oh, no, that's too fatty. And adulterous. You really, really want the Tofu!" Con- "What about the Paul Fish?" Waiter - "Ahhhhhh- Mercury Poisoning!!!!!! Dammit, just take the fucking Tofu and like it!" Con- "You aren't the boss of me. I want the Santorum Philly Sandwich." Waiter- "Right. That's one Tofu, coming up." Well, he ain't getting a tip!