Corporate lobbyists: “hey, GOP, we will give you a shit ton of money if you suck our dicks.”
GOP: “not yet. You’re moving too fast for us.”
Corporate lobbyists: “okay fine. We’ll just give you a shit ton of money to pass legislation that benefits our corporation and pleases the shareholders.”
GOP: “what? How the hell are we supposed to do that?”
Corporate lobbyists: “Give us ridiculous income tax cuts and rig the tax code so that we can take advantage of generous loopholes and deductions to save even more money. Just keep the “official” corporate tax rate high. It’s enough to fool your voters as being relevant and worth a damn. Oh, and call poor people lazy and do absolutely nothing to help them because it’s already fishy enough that the deficit will explode. We can’t add unnecessary expenses like that.”
GOP: “wouldn’t it be better for everyone if we just cut taxes for the poor and middle class? That way, they would have more money to spend on the economy and not only create profit for you, but more jobs for them.”
Corporate lobbyists: “um no. We get rich faster if we just save money through these tax cuts we don’t deserve.”
GOP: “how are we supposed to explain this to our base?!”
Corporate lobbyists: “Just tell them that the richer executives get, the more they will invest in wages and benefits for their workers. We will choose not to do that, of course, because we have a fiduciary responsibility to maximize profits for shareholders - even at the expense of our workers.”
GOP: “Ready BREAK!”
GOP: “not yet. You’re moving too fast for us.”
Corporate lobbyists: “okay fine. We’ll just give you a shit ton of money to pass legislation that benefits our corporation and pleases the shareholders.”
GOP: “what? How the hell are we supposed to do that?”
Corporate lobbyists: “Give us ridiculous income tax cuts and rig the tax code so that we can take advantage of generous loopholes and deductions to save even more money. Just keep the “official” corporate tax rate high. It’s enough to fool your voters as being relevant and worth a damn. Oh, and call poor people lazy and do absolutely nothing to help them because it’s already fishy enough that the deficit will explode. We can’t add unnecessary expenses like that.”
GOP: “wouldn’t it be better for everyone if we just cut taxes for the poor and middle class? That way, they would have more money to spend on the economy and not only create profit for you, but more jobs for them.”
Corporate lobbyists: “um no. We get rich faster if we just save money through these tax cuts we don’t deserve.”
GOP: “how are we supposed to explain this to our base?!”
Corporate lobbyists: “Just tell them that the richer executives get, the more they will invest in wages and benefits for their workers. We will choose not to do that, of course, because we have a fiduciary responsibility to maximize profits for shareholders - even at the expense of our workers.”
GOP: “Ready BREAK!”
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