Hatter's City: Batman Saves Melania [Sarcasm or News?]

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Abishai100, Dec 11, 2018.

  1. Abishai100

    Abishai100 VIP Member

    Sep 22, 2013
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    This is a TrumpUSA fake-news oriented crime-story meant to help us forget about all the crazy media-scandals we hear on the news these days, which is why I didn't want to post it in the Writing section (but what do you think?).

    This tale is inspired by the film The Kidnapping of the President.


    Bruce Wayne turned on the news and noticed a story about a Gotham City scientist/psychologist named Jervis Tetch who simply went insane and decided to spread playing-cards with images of a beautiful female terrorist named Baroness on them all around the Gotham Library. These Baroness-Cards represented Jervis's conviction that modern urban terrorism would never be curbed by democracy-rhetoric or psychological propaganda, and he wanted to basically give up as a psychologist and become a social philosopher about madness and terrorism itself and named himself the Mad Hatter (after the iconic logic-insanity trickster figure from Lewis Carroll's legendary puzzle-story Alice in Wonderland).


    Suddenly, Mad Hatter (Jervis) became a celebrity, and journalists were calling him the new Edward Abbey, using provocative imagery and nonviolent social gestures to create open dialogue about the 'complexity' of modern terrorism. Tim Burton planned to make a movie adaptation about the Mad Hatter (Jervis) called The Dark Knight Returns, featuring Batman (Bruce Wayne) as the man who would engage with the eccentric 'anti-hero.' Everyone knew Bruce was actually the crime-fighting vigilante Batman, and Burton wanted a story that captured the fascination with social dialogue about terrorism. After all, Jervis was harmless...


    President Trump and First Lady Melania Trump went to a private-screening of the movie premiere at Jervis's mansion on Halloween Eve. However, at the event, which Bruce Wayne conspicuously did not attend, Jervis (who actually dressed up as the Mad Hatter) dropped sleeping-gas on the guests and everyone became unconscious. He then transported all the A-list guests (including Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, and Bill Clinton) to a warehouse for police to find...but he kept the First Lady in his mansion. The next day, Jervis (Mad Hatter) disappeared with Melania Trump and no one knew where he took her. The President thought he'd go mad with panic.


    Mad Hatter (Jervis) then sent a special homemade flag of a 'war-stance' symbolism-filled nationalism-oriented flag with an iron cross, centered plus-sign, and a hammer-and-sickle symbol. Mad Hatter sent a letter to the Washington Post in which he wrote, "The flag about my revolutionary nationalism I sent will be understood someday. You see, my fellow Americans, there will never ever be a resolution to the desire to create rebellious anti-capitalism terrorism, so I've come up with an ingeniously new solution...I will kill female cops until Melania is rescued from my secret prison. Then, I will explain my rationale! So...find me soon."


    Batman was the first to be called for help, and the President and the CIA demanded he try to find and make contact with the criminally-insane terrorist Mad Hatter (Jervis) and persuade him to return the First Lady (Melania Trump) safely. However, Batman was already doing just that, and he had guessed (correctly) that Jervis was planning something eerie which is why he didn't attend his movie-premiere screening at Jervis's mansion. Batman tracked the Mad Hatter to his lair in an underground cave dug beneath Ellis Island, right by the Statue of Liberty. Batman guessed Mad Hatter would make a statement about that immigration-symbolic monument-place of democracy. When Batman broke into Mad Hatter's cave, he found the lunatic sitting at a table with First Lady Melania Trump tied to her seat in front of a tea set. Jervis (Mad Hatter) said, "Thank you for finding us, Batman! As you can see, I've sat down the First Lady and dressed her up (she's fine, I assure you). Behind me is a painting of me with Alice from Alice in Wonderland, and over there are the bludgeoned bodies of female cops I've killed while you were trying to find me (hehe). I think you like my painting!"


    BATMAN: Why the hammers around the room?
    HATTER: Don’t you know, Batman?
    BATMAN: No. What are they?
    HATTER: Symbols of patience.
    BATMAN: Patience with what?
    HATTER: With the frailty of flesh.
    BATMAN: Oh, well that’s sort of like a psycho’s version of psychology.
    HATTER: Well, yes it is; but it’s all for Alice…
    BATMAN: What?
    HATTER: Alice is soft; I use these hammers to sculpt my heart for her.
    BATMAN: Um, I don’t get it…
    HATTER: Yes you do; crime is a sculpture --- like installation-art.
    BATMAN: People are not canvases.
    HATTER: But the mind is; I’m merely creating an ‘image’ of panic.
    BATMAN: Using people as your paint…
    HATTER: Blood is richer than water!
    BATMAN: You need a mental bath.
    HATTER: Maybe you’re right; I need Alice.
    BATMAN: Why did you dress up the First Lady as a doll?
    HATTER: Why do you dress up like a bat? I'm merely commenting about terrorism.

    Batman quickly deduced that Mad Hatter had bludgeoned the female cops with his hammers which he used to decorate his cave-lair while dressing up First Lady Melania Trump like a little doll to send the message that terrorism felt like crime but also felt like strange 'aesthetics' since terrorism, by definition, was a 'rebellious expression' of the social frustration with the corruption of bureaucracy and politically-tedious labyrinths. However, Batman also concluded that Jervis was completely insane and wanted to use terrible violence to create some eerie and 'pseudo-artistic' statement about the 'presence of evil' in times of great sociopolitical angst (such as that of TrumpUSA). Batman shot a tranquilizer-dart into Jervis's neck, sedating him, and then untied the First Lady and carried both of them to the authorities. Batman then showed the doctors at Arkham Asylum (Gotham's center for the treatment of the criminally-insane), where Jervis would be incarcerated indefinitely, the paintings Jervis kept in his cave, including one black-and-white one of himself with a smoking pistol, suggesting to the doctors that Mad Hatter (Jervis) was like the Unabomber --- a man with violence on his mind and a 'resume' of intellectual brilliance.


    "It is my belief that Mad Hatter (Jervis Tetch) wanted Americans to believe that terrorism was a reality and very difficult to prevent/control, since rebelliousness against governance is a natural yearning. Hatter's terrible violent deeds (bludgeoning female cops with hammers) paralleled his fanatical intention to use political-rhetoric (e.g., his hammer-and-sickle 'revolution-flag') to 'veil' his hidden imagination about the 'presence' of darkness in times of bureaucracy. Saving the First Lady was my greatest deed, and I'm sure Americans will take from the incident the knowledge that society-devastating events such as 9/11 represent humanity's ongoing struggle with open dialogue about civics in America. I remain optimistic about psychiatry...and patriotism." ---BATMAN [Diary Entry, Christmas Eve 2018]


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