Forgiveness

[Sky Dancer]

I just returned from a weekend workshop. We talked about gratitude and forgiveness. I have some new insights about forgiveness and look forward to discussing them with you soon.


Please share your thoughts and feelings about the topic.

Forgiveness cannot be forced, but it can be invited. What's interesting is to examine what isn't willing to forgive inside and to take care of those places.

 

[PixieStix]

Forgiveness is a choice, much like everything else in life. I may not "feel" like forgiving someone. But it does not mean I shouldn't. In fact that is probably the best time to make that decision. It heals, the one doing the forgiving.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Forgiveness is a choice, much like everything else in life. I may not "feel" like forgiving someone. But it does not mean I shouldn't. In fact that is probably the best time to make that decision. It heals, the one doing the forgiving.

IMO, "shoulds" have nothing to do with forgiveness. Forgiveness feels better. It beats holding a grudge. Nonetheless forgiveness cannot be forced.

It must flow from an authentic place, where we have taken care of ourselves when we've been hurt.

Forgiveness doesn't require an apology.

 

[PixieStix]

Forgiveness is a choice, much like everything else in life. I may not "feel" like forgiving someone. But it does not mean I shouldn't. In fact that is probably the best time to make that decision. It heals, the one doing the forgiving.

IMO, "shoulds" have nothing to do with forgiveness. Forgiveness feels better. It beats holding a grudge. Nonetheless forgiveness cannot be forced.

It must flow from an authentic place, where we have taken care of ourselves when we've been hurt.

Forgiveness doesn't require an apology.

"Should", has a lot to do with it, IMO. I should feed myself, much the same with forgiveness

 

[zzzz]

Matthew 6:9–13
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

Many have said they forgive, but deep down they still harbor some anger or fear. True forgiveness is an elusive object. But it starts in the soul and not everyone can forgive. Compassion is not forgiveness. To forgive is to wipe the slate clean.

 

[Sherry]

It depends...I've forgiven some, and others I've just become indifferent towards. One thing I won't do is give anyone the power to have me hold onto negative emotions.

 

[skipper]

I know there are many health advantages. It can literally keep you from stroking out.

“…forgiveness creates the “relaxation response” and releases endorphins to all parts of your body.”

 

[percysunshine]

I just returned from a weekend workshop. We talked about gratitude and forgiveness. I have some new insights about forgiveness and look forward to discussing them with you soon.


Please share your thoughts and feelings about the topic.

Forgiveness cannot be forced, but it can be invited. What's interesting is to examine what isn't willing to forgive inside and to take care of those places.

Obviously, you have engaged in an activity this weekend of which you feel a need to be forgiven.

The entire US Message Board forgives you all your transgressions...either real or imagined.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Forgiveness is a choice, much like everything else in life. I may not "feel" like forgiving someone. But it does not mean I shouldn't. In fact that is probably the best time to make that decision. It heals, the one doing the forgiving.

IMO, "shoulds" have nothing to do with forgiveness. Forgiveness feels better. It beats holding a grudge. Nonetheless forgiveness cannot be forced.

It must flow from an authentic place, where we have taken care of ourselves when we've been hurt.

Forgiveness doesn't require an apology.

"Should", has a lot to do with it, IMO. I should feed myself, much the same with forgiveness

I disagree. Should sucks.

 

[lizzie]

Matthew 6:9–13
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

Many have said they forgive, but deep down they still harbor some anger or fear. True forgiveness is an elusive object. But it starts in the soul and not everyone can forgive. Compassion is not forgiveness. To forgive is to wipe the slate clean.

To me, forgiveness is understanding and acceptance. It never wipes the slate clean, but allows you to move forward with a new and higher love inside you. You acknowledge the wrong, whether it be within you or from someone else, you learn from it, and you move on in life with increased knowledge.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Forgiveness can't be forced. It can be invited. It's just as fruitful to examine why forgiveness isn't possible and to take of those places.

 

[Sky Dancer]

An angel wants to take the most advanced class on human behavior. He wants to take the class on forgiveness. Angels understand regret, sorrow and suffering but not forgiveness. When it comes to thinking that something shouldn't have happened they have a brain freeze.

This one lone angel really wants to know how it feels to forgive, so he goes to his teacher. His teachers says, the only way you can learn about forgiveness is to go to earth and take another angel with you.

The angel is excited and starts approaching his friends. His friends say, "No way". "I'm not going." He seeks high and low and still isn't able to find ONE angel who will descend to earth with him to learn the secret of forgiveness.

Finally, he hears about an old, old angel, who lives alone in a cave. He goes to see the old angel and tells him that no one will go with him to earth to learn about forgiveness. He asks the old angel, will you go with me to earth to learn about forgiveness.

The old angel remains silent for awhile and then he says, "Are you sure?" If you're sure I will go with you.

Understand this. You will forget that I am doing you a favor. You will forget that I am an angel and you are an angel. I will not be the same there. I will appear as the one you hate the most, as the one who is the most mean to you. I will do things to you to make you suffer that you cannot even believe.

If you're willing to try that, I will go with you and train you.

If you want to learn forgiveness, find the person you hate the most, and forgive him or her.

Remember forgiveness cannot be forced, but it can be invited. Look at all the parts of yourself unwilling to forgive. See what they need and take care of them with warm hearted attention. Forgiveness will arise naturally.

 

[AquaAthena]

"Forgiveness cannot be forced, but it can be invited."

It is often not enough to say, " I am sorry." It is better to say, " I am sorry, will you forgive me?"

That is what I have practiced if I have felt I have offended anyone. Few can say, "no," when you hand them the power and control to make their choice.

Forgiveness is something I do for myself, as well. I don't want to carry that toxic baggage.

 

[Sky Dancer]

There was a Polish Jew living in a Nazi concentration camp that was nicknamed, Will Bill Cody. Compared to other prisoners he was indefatigable. He served as the camp interpreter, he worked tirelessly to help others. His face glowed with compassion. No one could explain how he was managing to survive in this way. He entered the camp in 1939, and remained there for six years. Every group of prisoners in the camp counted him as a friend, he was cared for by all.

They marveled at this ability to forgive, when so many others were not able to. "Will Bill" had lived in a Jewish section in Warsaw with his wife, daughter and three sons. All were killed in front of him by the Nazi's. He speaks of what he managed to do:

"It was an easy decision for me. I'm a lawyer. I knew what hate could do to a person, and I decided I would not allow that to happen to me. I decided I would spend my life loving every person I met. The decision to forgive was an easy one for me. With that decision, that vow, came loving every person I came in touch with. That is what allowed me to live."

 

[Sky Dancer]

"Forgiveness cannot be forced, but it can be invited."

It is often not enough to say, " I am sorry." It is better to say, " I am sorry, will you forgive me?"

That is what I have practiced if I have felt I have offended anyone. Few can say, "no," when you hand them the power and control to make their choice.

Forgiveness is something I do for myself, as well. I don't want to carry that toxic baggage.

Forgiveness does not require an apology. It's helpful to make a sincere apology if one can. But I do not want my forgiveness to come by making conditions for someone else.

 

[Truthmatters]

Its part of the healing process.

You cant intellectualize human emotions.

 

[Si modo]

When I forgive someone, they no longer have any ability to suck any energy from me.

It seems like an obvious choice for me to make.

 

[California Girl]

It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

 

[Truthmatters]

Typically you only see it from your personal view.

 

[Sky Dancer]

When I forgive someone, they no longer have any ability to suck any energy from me.

It seems like an obvious choice for me to make.

That's exactly right. What I'm examining is what is going on when I cannot forgive. Forgiveness can't be forced. What happens is there are places inside that need something from me before they can open.

It's me they need it from, not the one who hurt me.