For Northerners Moving South

[Luissa]

They're all around everywhere. Luissa just hasn't gotten out from the asphalt jungle much, and apparently, can't fathom the thought of seeing what's beyond a city-lit sky with no stars and is willing to grasp on a bunch of bullshit rhetoric to justify it.

hey asshole I live in area where there are about a dozen ski resorts, the columbia gorge, and one of the largest native american reservations in this country.There are more lakes in my area then you have probably seen. YOu have never been to where I live so stop assuming shit. Just because we don't have possums and humidity doesn't mean I live in a concret jungle. I could walk two minutes from my house and be a wild life preserve. I also spend a week in wyomning on my brother's ranch every year that is more out of the middle of no where then you have ever seen. SO why don't you take the stick that has been in your ass for the last week and then shove back in there for me.

Think you're my wife now or something calling me "hey asshole"?

You have no idea whether or not I've been where you live. There aren't too many places I haven't been and your piddly little world you seem so impressed by impresses ME not.

Just cuz you don't SEE possums doesn't mean you don't have any. But I'll take your word for it. Must some wonderful place you live if even trashy, no-account scavengers like possums snub their noses at it.

and also there is a reason they call the parks department Spokane Parks and Detonation.

 

[Amanda]

Snobs crack me up. The 1st 1's to demean others and the 1st 1's to need help. Can't tell you how many times my Daddy and brothers pulled snobs out of a ditch in a snow storm, and they bitch and complain the whole time. I remember being about 10 with my bro Josh about 13 and pulling these people out. Daddy says to Josh to hook the chain to the car and they start caterwauling about being careful, blah blah. Fuck... we'd pulled 3 others out already and my bro knows where to put a hook so it won't damage the car. And besides what would you rather freeze to death or get a bent tie rod? Fuckin snobs.

 

[Luissa]

Snobs crack me up. The 1st 1's to demean others and the 1st 1's to need help. Can't tell you how many times my Daddy and brothers pulled snobs out of a ditch in a snow storm, and they bitch and complain the whole time. I remember being about 10 with my bro Josh about 13 and pulling these people out. Daddy says to Josh to hook the chain to the car and they start caterwauling about being careful, blah blah. Fuck... we'd pulled 3 others out already and my bro knows where to put a hook so it won't damage the car. And besides what would you rather freeze to death or get a bent tie rod? Fuckin snobs.

I hope you are not talking about me because I have shoveled more snow than you will in lifetime and as for digging people out, I didn't leave it to my brothers to do that for me.

 

[DamnYankee]

That thar iron is hardern a weddin dick.
I hitim so hard he was squealin like a broke dick dog.
Thissy here knife is sharper than a ministers tongue.
This damn bolt is tightern a nuns pussy.
That thar sumbish has gotta be the dumbest ass ever ta shit tween a paira boots.

I could go on an on an on. I worked at the railroad in SW Va. and traveled through West BY GOD Va. doing repairs.
I have a PHD in Redneckizm.

Careful now.... You're speakin' of my kinfolk....

Gawd Blass Ye ! Jeziz luvz ya too. Now pass me that bottle an see if yer sweet lil sisser wantsta crawl under thissy here table fer a few minits.

I'm an only child.... Will I do?

 

[DamnYankee]

So don't live here. Nobody asked you, and I doubt with your attitude, anyone ever asked you to.

She ought not move to Joisey either....

Don't worry I never plan on it, for one I don't want to end up with cement shoes!
I might visit there soon since one of my best friends lives in Jersey City and man do I love the Real Housewives of New Jersey. But if it is muggy there and has large spiders you can bet I don't plan on moving there.

<chuckle> If ya think that's real, don't bother....

 

[Luissa]

She ought not move to Joisey either....

Don't worry I never plan on it, for one I don't want to end up with cement shoes!
I might visit there soon since one of my best friends lives in Jersey City and man do I love the Real Housewives of New Jersey. But if it is muggy there and has large spiders you can bet I don't plan on moving there.

<chuckle> If ya think that's real, don't bother....

I don't think it is real completly but man I sure would love to see someone flip a table in my life time.

 

[DamnYankee]

Don't worry I never plan on it, for one I don't want to end up with cement shoes!
I might visit there soon since one of my best friends lives in Jersey City and man do I love the Real Housewives of New Jersey. But if it is muggy there and has large spiders you can bet I don't plan on moving there.

<chuckle> If ya think that's real, don't bother....

I don't think it is real completly but man I sure would love to see someone flip a table in my life time.

It's easy really.... Just get mad.... <chuckle>

 

[Amanda]

Snobs crack me up. The 1st 1's to demean others and the 1st 1's to need help. Can't tell you how many times my Daddy and brothers pulled snobs out of a ditch in a snow storm, and they bitch and complain the whole time. I remember being about 10 with my bro Josh about 13 and pulling these people out. Daddy says to Josh to hook the chain to the car and they start caterwauling about being careful, blah blah. Fuck... we'd pulled 3 others out already and my bro knows where to put a hook so it won't damage the car. And besides what would you rather freeze to death or get a bent tie rod? Fuckin snobs.

I hope you are not talking about me because I have shoveled more snow than you will in lifetime and as for digging people out, I didn't leave it to my brothers to do that for me.

Hit a little too close to home, huh?

You've been a snob throughout this thread with all your "...and that's another reason I'd never live in the South" gibberish. You've measured how much snow you've shoveled? That's great. I guess it's possible cos you also know everywhere Gunny has travelled. And how do you know how many people I helped to get out of a ditch? I related a story that happened when I was 10. You're so awesome how many people did you use your 4x4 to pull out of a ditch when you were 10?

You have truly made my day with your response, because not only are you thrashing around in a hilarious manner, but you're also driving home my point about snobs better than I ever could have. Good job!

 

[Missourian]

My tractor-trailer broke down yesterday in Ozark Arkansas. I broke a gear in the front differential, so I wasn't going anywhere. I had a full load of iron pipe...80,000 pounds of truck, trailer and load stuck on the off-ramp at exit 37.

No less than 30 people in cars, pickups and semis stopped to ask if I needed help in thirty minutes and two different truckers dropped their trailers to pull my broke down rig to the repair shop a mile away, one pulling the tractor while the other hooked to the trailer, saving me a $400 wrecker bill. Within 45 minutes of breaking down it was three pm and I was at the shop begging the two truckers to take a few dollars as a token of my appreciation but of course they refused to accept anything but my thanks and a handshake.

I figured I would be down for at least a week, but the mechanics at the repair shop in Ozark jumped right into the differential and had it apart in 3 hours, four of them working on it together one hour after closing time. I believe they would have worked into the night if they could have gotten their hands on a replacement part at that hour.

By morning they had the part and again four mechanics worked for three hours to get the differential back together and they had finished by noon. Four mechanics had worked 6 hours to repair my truck...that's 24 man hours.

They billed me for FOUR HOURS OF LABOR, the price of the part and some gear oil.

Within 24 hours my truck was fixed and I was back on the road in time to make my Friday delivery and I am in my own bed in Missouri tonight posting this.

So next time I head thru, I'll drop off a couple cases of beer...as one good turn deserves another.

Is it any wonder why I live in the south?

Not to me it ain't.

 

[DamnYankee]

My tractor-trailer broke down yesterday in Ozark Arkansas. I broke a gear in the front differential, so I wasn't going anywhere. I had a full load of iron pipe...80,000 pounds of truck, trailer and load stuck on the off-ramp at exit 37.

No less than 30 people in cars, pickups and semis stopped to ask if I needed help in thirty minutes and two different truckers dropped their trailers to pull my broke down rig to the repair shop a mile away, one pulling the tractor while the other hooked to the trailer, saving me a $400 wrecker bill. Within 45 minutes of breaking down it was three pm and I was at the shop begging the two truckers to take a few dollars as a token of my appreciation but of course they refused to accept anything but my thanks and a handshake.

I figured I would be down for at least a week, but the mechanics at the repair shop in Ozark jumped right into the differential and had it apart in 3 hours, four of them working on it together one hour after closing time. I believe they would have worked into the night if they could have gotten their hands on a replacement part at that hour.

By morning they had the part and again four mechanics worked for three hours to get the differential back together and they had finished by noon. Four mechanics had worked 6 hours to repair my truck...that's 24 man hours.

They billed me for FOUR HOURS OF LABOR, the price of the part and some gear oil.

Within 24 hours my truck was fixed and I was back on the road in time to make my Friday delivery and I am in my own bed in Missouri tonight posting this.

So next time I head thru, I'll drop off a couple cases of beer...as one good turn deserves another.

Is it any wonder why I live in the south?

Not to me it ain't.

I've always been a city girl, tho not always quite so far north, but the roots in the family tree are deep. Your story reminded me of one of the best experiences I ever had on a trip down there.

I do love visiting, at least once a year. Never know when another family member isn't going to make it to the next reunion. But I've always been a "city girl" despite the roots. One great story deserves another though.....

One trip down, oldest son was 11 I think, the youngest just a toddler. Never could get the daughter to join us (the Jersey grandparents never seemed to mind). We're doing an all-nighter (almost) after work on a Friday to get to my family reunion on time. One last pit stop needed, off I-81 in northern VA, about 11 p.m. Great... Full tank of gas will get us the rest of the way -- got a snack and a drink -- we're good to go again.

About 2:30, we're pullin' into the parking lot of Mom's apartment, finally ready to get a couple of hours of sleep before the party begins. Just hours later, the annual BBQ is in full swing, and everyone is catching up and reminiscing. The food line has thinned out, the catching up is mingled with face stuffing.

Suddenly, a camera begins clicking. Oh dayum.... I'm missing some Kodak moments.... Reaching into my bag for the camera, I realize something is missing. I'm sure the color drained from my face, and my heart was pounding. Looking at hubby and my Mom I say, "Ummmm.... Did you see my wallet at the house?"

Of course, there was no recollection of having seen it there, but the reassuring words begin to flow. "Now don't worry. I'm sure it's on the table." "When was the last time you had it?" "I don't remember!" Now aside from the fact the my license and other ID is in there, you need to know that I didn't have any credit cards then. You do understand what that means doncha? Cash.... About $900 worth.

Trying not to panic, which isn't working too well, the older son takes over photo duty. By the time the "clean up" was over, I was pacing back and forth like a wild cat. Was also planning on a visit to one of the Uncle's this evening. "Shit...." I mumble under my breath. Went to find him and the family to give an explanation, so, of course, he says, "No problem. We'll stop by the house instead."

Half hour or so later, I'm turning the apartment upside down, desperately hoping that I knocked the bag over somewhere and the wallet is lying on the floor. The helpers are checking the tables and the nightstands. I finally give up after 20 minutes.... It just wasn't there. Where in hell is it?

Hubby says, "You think you left it at the place we stopped at last night?" "Oh my God.... I don't even remember where we were!" The oldest son, who I wasn't even sure was fully awake at the time, pipes up, "It was exit 298, Mom." WTF? How the hell did he remember that?!

Unk says, "That's Strasburg, I think. Almost clear up to Winchester." We're at exit 42. Calm as could be, he says, "I can get a hold of the State Police and they can call up there and see if it's there." I'm thinkin', "Yeah, right!" but, say "You think they'll do that?" "Don't see why not," Unk says, and picks up the phone.

A few minutes later, he says, "It's there. The night clerk put it away and let the next shift know, 'cause he was sure it would be missed." I sank in a chair, just shocked. I'm damned sure if I'd left it anywhere at home, it would have been gone in a New York minute.

When I had collected myself, I picked up the phone and called the place. Let them know who I was. "Oh yes maam. It's right here. We're keepin' it for ya. Whenever ya'll git here will be fine." "I'll be there sometime tomorrow. Thank you.... Thank you so much...." They wouldn't take so much as coffee money for their kindness and honesty. Gave me a little faith in humanity that week.

 

[Luissa]

Snobs crack me up. The 1st 1's to demean others and the 1st 1's to need help. Can't tell you how many times my Daddy and brothers pulled snobs out of a ditch in a snow storm, and they bitch and complain the whole time. I remember being about 10 with my bro Josh about 13 and pulling these people out. Daddy says to Josh to hook the chain to the car and they start caterwauling about being careful, blah blah. Fuck... we'd pulled 3 others out already and my bro knows where to put a hook so it won't damage the car. And besides what would you rather freeze to death or get a bent tie rod? Fuckin snobs.

I hope you are not talking about me because I have shoveled more snow than you will in lifetime and as for digging people out, I didn't leave it to my brothers to do that for me.

Hit a little too close to home, huh?

You've been a snob throughout this thread with all your "...and that's another reason I'd never live in the South" gibberish. You've measured how much snow you've shoveled? That's great. I guess it's possible cos you also know everywhere Gunny has travelled. And how do you know how many people I helped to get out of a ditch? I related a story that happened when I was 10. You're so awesome how many people did you use your 4x4 to pull out of a ditch when you were 10?

You have truly made my day with your response, because not only are you thrashing around in a hilarious manner, but you're also driving home my point about snobs better than I ever could have. Good job!

giving the fact I was joking about the south thing, I think it hit a little close to home for you?? And how did I know you were ten, did you mention that in your post.
And I love how people always like to think people from the north are snobs. And you know what I don't really give a shit if you think I am one. I have an opinion about people and I am not afraid to say it. I get sick of people acting like you have pretend to like someone all the time because you don't want to hurt their feelings.
And as for Gunny, he didn't make any assumptions in his post at all???? BEcause he sure knows how much time I have spent outdoors or traveling.
And as for shoveling snow, I had a job shoveling snow for three winters at 100 acre park, I shoveled more snow than most people who have never do it for a living. So if you did for eight hours a day for three to four months out of the year you could have shoveled more snow than me.

 

[Luissa]

<chuckle> If ya think that's real, don't bother....

I don't think it is real completly but man I sure would love to see someone flip a table in my life time.

It's easy really.... Just get mad.... <chuckle>

DOn't ya know us northerner's are too prim and proper and snobish to loose our temper and flip a table.

 

[DamnYankee]

I don't think it is real completly but man I sure would love to see someone flip a table in my life time.

It's easy really.... Just get mad.... <chuckle>

DOn't ya know us northerner's are too prim and proper and snobish to loose our temper and flip a table.

Scuse me?? What part of the north are YOU from? LMAO

 

[Luissa]

It's easy really.... Just get mad.... <chuckle>

DOn't ya know us northerner's are too prim and proper and snobish to loose our temper and flip a table.

Scuse me?? What part of the north are YOU from? LMAO

washington so all we do here is hug trees and eat granola and maybe do meth once in awhile. We do get the occasional people from this area that bomb clinics, shoot up museams, or other such things.

 

[Oddball]

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "Y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in big ol' truck or big ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper

Be advised that "He needed killin' " is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, jus' 'cause the cat had kittens in the oven, don't mean we're gonna call 'em biscuits.

Also, drop "to be" from any verbal construct that describes anything what needs doing.....For example: "My car needs fixed", or "My gun needs cleaned".

If your pen leaked all over your new white shirt, you "roont" it.

 

[DamnYankee]

DOn't ya know us northerner's are too prim and proper and snobish to loose our temper and flip a table.

Scuse me?? What part of the north are YOU from? LMAO

washington so all we do here is hug trees and eat granola and maybe do meth once in awhile. We do get the occasional people from this area that bomb clinics, shoot up museams, or other such things.

Well.... That explains it.... You're from the northwest, not the north....

 

[Luissa]

Scuse me?? What part of the north are YOU from? LMAO

washington so all we do here is hug trees and eat granola and maybe do meth once in awhile. We do get the occasional people from this area that bomb clinics, shoot up museams, or other such things.

Well.... That explains it.... You're from the northwest, not the north....

I am from the land of Chevy Kehoe and Richard Butler.
And the 2nd worst meth problem.

 

[DamnYankee]

washington so all we do here is hug trees and eat granola and maybe do meth once in awhile. We do get the occasional people from this area that bomb clinics, shoot up museams, or other such things.

Well.... That explains it.... You're from the northwest, not the north....

I am from the land of Chevy Kehoe and Richard Butler.
And the 2nd worst meth problem.

Your point?

 

[Amanda]

giving the fact I was joking about the south thing, I think it hit a little close to home for you?? And how did I know you were ten, did you mention that in your post.

Um, let's see, did I?

. I remember being about 10 with my bro Josh about 13 and pulling these people out. Daddy says to Josh to hook the chain to the car and they start caterwauling about being careful, blah blah.

Yup, looks like I did. I think I also mentioned something about reading comprehension too. Should I find that quote as well?

And I love how people always like to think people from the north are snobs.

You must because you're doing a bang up job of keeping the stereotype alive and well.

And you know what I don't really give a shit if you think I am one.

Obviously...

I have an opinion about people and I am not afraid to say it. I get sick of people acting like you have pretend to like someone all the time because you don't want to hurt their feelings.

careful, you're starting to sound like a conservative.

And as for Gunny, he didn't make any assumptions in his post at all???? BEcause he sure knows how much time I have spent outdoors or traveling.

Oh ok, as long as that makes what you did alright I guess there's nothing to discuss. I'll have to keep this sort of thinking in mind for future threads.

And as for shoveling snow, I had a job shoveling snow for three winters at 100 acre park, I shoveled more snow than most people who have never do it for a living. So if you did for eight hours a day for three to four months out of the year you could have shoveled more snow than me.

Um.... who the fuck cares? I'm not talking about shoveling for money, I'm talking about stopping and helping people because you have a good heart. I guess that slipped past you. Go back and read Missourian's post about how was helped out, that's what I'm talking about. That's how we get things done in the South. I guess all that kindness and such doesn't hold much appeal for you. We talk funny and have bad manners, that's surely more important than reaching out to people in need.

This thread is just hilarious, I can't wait to see your startling comeback.

 

[Luissa]

giving the fact I was joking about the south thing, I think it hit a little close to home for you?? And how did I know you were ten, did you mention that in your post.

Um, let's see, did I?

. I remember being about 10 with my bro Josh about 13 and pulling these people out. Daddy says to Josh to hook the chain to the car and they start caterwauling about being careful, blah blah.

Yup, looks like I did. I think I also mentioned something about reading comprehension too. Should I find that quote as well?



You must because you're doing a bang up job of keeping the stereotype alive and well.



Obviously...



careful, you're starting to sound like a conservative.

And as for Gunny, he didn't make any assumptions in his post at all???? BEcause he sure knows how much time I have spent outdoors or traveling.

Oh ok, as long as that makes what you did alright I guess there's nothing to discuss. I'll have to keep this sort of thinking in mind for future threads.

And as for shoveling snow, I had a job shoveling snow for three winters at 100 acre park, I shoveled more snow than most people who have never do it for a living. So if you did for eight hours a day for three to four months out of the year you could have shoveled more snow than me.

Um.... who the fuck cares? I'm not talking about shoveling for money, I'm talking about stopping and helping people because you have a good heart. I guess that slipped past you. Go back and read Missourian's post about how was helped out, that's what I'm talking about. That's how we get things done in the South. I guess all that kindness and such doesn't hold much appeal for you. We talk funny and have bad manners, that's surely more important than reaching out to people in need.

This thread is just hilarious, I can't wait to see your startling comeback.

All that kindness? How would you know what I do, for one I don't go around bragging about it to make myself look better than people.
And as for being a snob, you are probably right I don't really like most people so I guess I would be a snob. I help people in my ways but I also don't in certain situations because where I live you will get your car stolen or robbed.
But like I stated before we don't have humidity and large spiders so where I live holds a certain appeal to me.