A rabbi, a minister and a catholic priest....

Discussion in 'Humor' started by JBeukema, Jun 23, 2009.

  1. JBeukema
    Offline

    JBeukema BANNED

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2009
    Messages:
    25,613
    Thanks Received:
    1,703
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    everywhere and nowhere
    Ratings:
    +1,705
    are on a retreat. They decide to go swimming in a nearby lake, but have forgotten their trunks. As there is plenty of plant cover, and none can see the others if each relaxes behind some brush, they decide that skinny dipping will do.

    After relaxing in the waters, they here some voices approaching from the woods. Afraid that they will be seen naked, they run out of the water. the priest and minister, covering their groins with their hands, rush to the rocks where they have left their clothes. Looking back, they see the rabbi running towards them with his hands over his face.

    'Why are you covering your face?', the priest asked.

    The Rabbi turned to him and replied 'Well, I don't know about you guys, but it was my face my congregates would recognize.'


    45:00:00
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  2. strollingbones
    Offline

    strollingbones Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2008
    Messages:
    65,657
    Thanks Received:
    15,626
    Trophy Points:
    2,190
    Location:
    chicken farm
    Ratings:
    +31,971
    priest and rabbi are walking down the street...priest sees a little boy and says to the rabbi...hey lets screw him....rabbi replies...out of what?
     
  3. Phoenix
    Offline

    Phoenix fideli certa merces

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2009
    Messages:
    13,040
    Thanks Received:
    2,362
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    out of the ashes
    Ratings:
    +2,363
    :lol: :clap2:
     
  4. Big Black Dog
    Offline

    Big Black Dog Gold Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2009
    Messages:
    22,918
    Thanks Received:
    5,110
    Trophy Points:
    260
    Ratings:
    +5,720
    Both jokes are good ones!!!:lol:
     
  5. strollingbones
    Offline

    strollingbones Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2008
    Messages:
    65,657
    Thanks Received:
    15,626
    Trophy Points:
    2,190
    Location:
    chicken farm
    Ratings:
    +31,971
    i got more..lol...but hestiate cause they are mocking baptists....

    this is an old one..stop me if you have heard it...

    man is in his house..it begins to flood...a row boat comes by....come on with us..man refuses.....the water rises...man climbs on roof...helicopter comes by ..he refuses again....he drowns...when he gets to the gates of heaven st peter meets him there....the man ask st peter, why didnt god save me?
    st peter replies, who do you think sent the rowboat and helicopter?


    man dies..go to heaven...st peter meets him at the gate....man has lived a good life....st peter welcomes him in....they begin to walk towards the mans new home...man notices one mansion with nuns and priests....st peter tells him that is where the catholics live...they continue on....passing a mansion where people are partying hardy....man ask, who lives there? st peter replies...methodist, you know how they are....then they come to a huge hedge that neither can see above...yet st peter tells the man to crawl and be quiet..the man obeys and they crawl the length of the hedge in silence...at the end both st peter and the man stand up...brushing off their knees...the man asks, who lives there? st peter replies, damn baptist and they think they are the only ones here....
     
  6. Big Black Dog
    Offline

    Big Black Dog Gold Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2009
    Messages:
    22,918
    Thanks Received:
    5,110
    Trophy Points:
    260
    Ratings:
    +5,720
    Being a former member of the Southern Baptist Church, I found that Baptist often took themselves way too seriously so, cut loose with those jokes, bones.:lol:
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2009
  7. strollingbones
    Offline

    strollingbones Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2008
    Messages:
    65,657
    Thanks Received:
    15,626
    Trophy Points:
    2,190
    Location:
    chicken farm
    Ratings:
    +31,971
    two local baptist take a new methodist fishing....one baptists says he has to take a leak and gets up and begins to walk on the water ....then takes a leak and walks back on the water to the boat....

    the methodist ..not to be out done....trys it and falls into the water...the baptists bail him out and pull him back into the boat...

    an hour or so later the other baptist does the same thing...walks on the water to take a leak...walks back and gets in the boat....

    the methodist has had it...gets up....steps on the water...splash...down he does....as the two baptist watch him sink...one asks the other...think we should show him the rocks?
     
  8. Big Black Dog
    Offline

    Big Black Dog Gold Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2009
    Messages:
    22,918
    Thanks Received:
    5,110
    Trophy Points:
    260
    Ratings:
    +5,720
    Heard that one before, bones but it's still a classic and worthy of a few chuckles!:lol:
     
  9. Tech_Esq
    Offline

    Tech_Esq Sic Semper Tyrannis!

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2008
    Messages:
    4,408
    Thanks Received:
    558
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    Ratings:
    +558
    A priest walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut. When it's over he asks how much he owes. The barber tells him, "No charge. It's on the house, Father." The priest thanks him. The next day the barber goes to open the shop and finds flowers from the priest there to greet him.

    A similar pattern happens with a rabbi.

    On another occasion a Baptist minister walks in and asks for a haircut. The barber again provides his service at no charge. The Baptist minister thanks him. The next day the barber shows up to find 20 Baptist Ministers waiting at his door.
     

Share This Page

Search tags for this page

how much does a priest rabbi minister and mayor charge