For Northerners Moving South

[DamnYankee]

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "Y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in big ol' truck or big ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper

Be advised that "He needed killin' " is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, jus' 'cause the cat had kittens in the oven, don't mean we're gonna call 'em biscuits.

 

[Phoenix]

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "Y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in big ol' truck or big ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper

Be advised that "He needed killin' " is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, jus' 'cause the cat had kittens in the oven, don't mean we're gonna call 'em biscuits.

 

[Luissa]

hilarious and those are just some of the reasons I will never live in the south!

 

[Gunny]

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "Y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in big ol' truck or big ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper

Be advised that "He needed killin' " is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, jus' 'cause the cat had kittens in the oven, don't mean we're gonna call 'em biscuits.

"Hey, y'all watch this ..." priceless.

 

[Gunny]

hilarious and those are just some of the reasons I will never live in the south!

Been invited, have you?

 

[Amanda]

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "Y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in big ol' truck or big ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper

Be advised that "He needed killin' " is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, jus' 'cause the cat had kittens in the oven, don't mean we're gonna call 'em biscuits.

Great post. Funny, yet the truth of the genuiness of rednecks is in there. My dad ALWAYS stops to see if folks stuck on the side of the road need help. It's funny how people distrust his honest desire to help them. Or sad, really. Howdid we get to the point where we distrust each other so much?

My dad and bros get their hair cut at a barber shop where you can also buy ammo.

Bacon grease makes everything you fry better. Just take my word for it.

You can never have too many staples to see you through a storm. When power used to go out back home it could be 2 weeks before it was back.

I can't tell you the number of times my bros would say "Hey, y'all watch this," butn none ever ended up maimed. Maybe they were just lucky.

I learned how to shoot when I was about 10, but it wasn't mama, it was daddy. He gave me a 243 Roberts and I learned to take down a deer with it. it was a proud moment for me to know I fed my family. Never been much of a shotgun gal, I'd rather have a good dog, but my little Glock is a comfort.

I feel a little sorry for Northerners/Libs... it seems they will never know how it feels to be really connected to a community the way us rednecks do.

 

[Midnight Marauder]

More "southern" dialect:

yaonto -- "We goin to da mall, yaonto?"

Sea Knees -- "Ya'll seenees yet?"

Sea Gnat -- "I seenat already."

Sea Nose -- You get the idea. Sea Nose, Sea Nis, etc.

My favorite might be, "undermine."

As in, "Yeah I wanna meet the girl that has the partment undermine."

There's thousands.

 

[KittenKoder]

I miss Arizona, going back there someday for good. Tucson ...

 

[Epsilon Delta]

Is the south really like that? The closest place I've ever been is Virginia, and I only went there for a party - I lived in Maryland. It wasn't even Americans, it was some Burmese commune.

AOSIdhAPSDOi

 

[DamnYankee]

Is the south really like that? The closest place I've ever been is Virginia, and I only went there for a party - I lived in Maryland. It wasn't even Americans, it was some Burmese commune.

AOSIdhAPSDOi

Lemme 'splain it to you this way. Northern Virginia is to Southern Virginia as North Jersey is to South Jersey -- it's like two different countries!

 

[DamnYankee]

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "Y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in big ol' truck or big ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper

Be advised that "He needed killin' " is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, jus' 'cause the cat had kittens in the oven, don't mean we're gonna call 'em biscuits.

"Hey, y'all watch this ..." priceless.

Usually comes just before "He needed killin'"....

 

[Epsilon Delta]

Is the south really like that? The closest place I've ever been is Virginia, and I only went there for a party - I lived in Maryland. It wasn't even Americans, it was some Burmese commune.

AOSIdhAPSDOi

Lemme 'splain it to you this way. Northern Virginia is to Southern Virginia as North Jersey is to South Jersey -- it's like two different countries!

Ahhh, that makes a lot of sense. We even say that here between the East side of town and the West side of town- and we're only 7 miles apart!

 

[editec]

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

In Maine, if you think you're in a ditch? You're probably still on the road and just hit one of our potholes. Just keep moving or they won't find you or your car till late spring

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.

Here you can also get that wedding dress and motorcycle parts. Don't eat ANY food in ANY store or resturant in Maine unless its fresh seafood.

Remember, "Y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.

That's wicked funny how you flatlanders talk.

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Get used to being invisible to the locals for at least your twenty years in this neighborhood.

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

At least your locals talk.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in big ol' truck or big ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper

My PA accent is all stove into hell.

Be advised that "He needed killin' " is a valid defense here.

The defence hereabouts is I thought I saw a whitetail and besides what's a woman doing wearing white mittens in her back yard during huntin' season anyway?

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say

Same here.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Here when it hits 50 degrees the locals start bitching about the heat.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

Here don't be surprised to discover the kid on that $5000 four wheeler lives in a shed with his twenlve brother and sisters. They live on foodstamps to buy White bread and beans, but daddy owns four bass boats, two motor cycles and there's eleven parts cars in the front yard.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

The grass grows just fine around the wrecked cars.

AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, jus' 'cause the cat had kittens in the oven, don't mean we're gonna call 'em biscuits.

Here, too.

Locals call this place Maine, but I think of it as Alabama North.

 

[DamnYankee]

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "Y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in big ol' truck or big ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper

Be advised that "He needed killin' " is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, jus' 'cause the cat had kittens in the oven, don't mean we're gonna call 'em biscuits.

Great post. Funny, yet the truth of the genuiness of rednecks is in there. My dad ALWAYS stops to see if folks stuck on the side of the road need help. It's funny how people distrust his honest desire to help them. Or sad, really. Howdid we get to the point where we distrust each other so much?

My dad and bros get their hair cut at a barber shop where you can also buy ammo.

Bacon grease makes everything you fry better. Just take my word for it.

You can never have too many staples to see you through a storm. When power used to go out back home it could be 2 weeks before it was back.

I can't tell you the number of times my bros would say "Hey, y'all watch this," butn none ever ended up maimed. Maybe they were just lucky.

I learned how to shoot when I was about 10, but it wasn't mama, it was daddy. He gave me a 243 Roberts and I learned to take down a deer with it. it was a proud moment for me to know I fed my family. Never been much of a shotgun gal, I'd rather have a good dog, but my little Glock is a comfort.

I feel a little sorry for Northerners/Libs... it seems they will never know how it feels to be really connected to a community the way us rednecks do.

You'd be surprised how many Southerners there are around here -- mostly black. Been to some of their Sunday services, and do they know how to "Praise the Lord!".

Oh, and every chance I get to go back for a visit, my very favorite ice cream store sells EVERYTHING.....

 

[Luissa]

Is the south really like that? The closest place I've ever been is Virginia, and I only went there for a party - I lived in Maryland. It wasn't even Americans, it was some Burmese commune.

AOSIdhAPSDOi

Lemme 'splain it to you this way. Northern Virginia is to Southern Virginia as North Jersey is to South Jersey -- it's like two different countries!

Oh! my friend who went to Virginia Tech gets real pissed when his dad who lived in Northern Virginia calls it slower virginia in reference to south virginia.

 

[Luissa]

hilarious and those are just some of the reasons I will never live in the south!

Been invited, have you?

yes I have so shut your mouth!

Last night it was muggy here because an incoming storm, I hate it when it is muggy which is another reason why I will never live in the south. MY family is from the south but you will never see me return. I have never seen a possum and I want it to stay that way unless it is on vacation in New Orleans during Mardi Gra. Where I live are insects expcept pine beetles are normal size and we don't have spiders that could eat you or anything called an alligator fish.

 

[Amanda]

Is the south really like that? The closest place I've ever been is Virginia, and I only went there for a party - I lived in Maryland. It wasn't even Americans, it was some Burmese commune.

AOSIdhAPSDOi

Lemme 'splain it to you this way. Northern Virginia is to Southern Virginia as North Jersey is to South Jersey -- it's like two different countries!

Oh! my friend who went to Virginia Tech gets real pissed when his dad who lived in Northern Virginia calls it slower virginia in reference to south virginia.

I don't see anything wrong with taking a moment to collect your thoughts. I've been called dumb and stupid all my life. So much I believed it for a long time. I don't think that way anymore, but lots of people still think that about me. There's no shame in thinking a little bit before you respond. Most of you would prolly think I'm dumb as shit the way I pause before responding on here. I don't care tho, you can think I'm stupid if you want. I don't believe being smart made anyone happy. I'm happy most of the time and if that makes me dumb then so be it. I'd rather be happy than smart. Course, you're free to live your life as you see fit, I would never deny anyone that option.

 

[dilloduck]

Lemme 'splain it to you this way. Northern Virginia is to Southern Virginia as North Jersey is to South Jersey -- it's like two different countries!

Oh! my friend who went to Virginia Tech gets real pissed when his dad who lived in Northern Virginia calls it slower virginia in reference to south virginia.

I don't see anything wrong with taking a moment to collect your thoughts. I've been called dumb and stupid all my life. So much I believed it for a long time. I don't think that way anymore, but lots of people still think that about me. There's no shame in thinking a little bit before you respond. Most of you would prolly think I'm dumb as shit the way I pause before responding on here. I don't care tho, you can think I'm stupid if you want. I don't believe being smart made anyone happy. I'm happy most of the time and if that makes me dumb then so be it. I'd rather be happy than smart. Course, you're free to live your life as you see fit, I would never deny anyone that option.

One of my great pleasures in life is to watch a yankee who has made the mistake of underestimating the brains of a redneck who talks dumb.

 

[Annie]

Oh! my friend who went to Virginia Tech gets real pissed when his dad who lived in Northern Virginia calls it slower virginia in reference to south virginia.

I don't see anything wrong with taking a moment to collect your thoughts. I've been called dumb and stupid all my life. So much I believed it for a long time. I don't think that way anymore, but lots of people still think that about me. There's no shame in thinking a little bit before you respond. Most of you would prolly think I'm dumb as shit the way I pause before responding on here. I don't care tho, you can think I'm stupid if you want. I don't believe being smart made anyone happy. I'm happy most of the time and if that makes me dumb then so be it. I'd rather be happy than smart. Course, you're free to live your life as you see fit, I would never deny anyone that option.

One of my great pleasures in life is to watch a yankee who has made the mistake of underestimating the brains of a redneck who talks dumb.

I 'hear' you. Same thing happens to those that think because one cannot hear, that one cannot think. Devastating results at times.

 

[Annie]

hilarious and those are just some of the reasons I will never live in the south!

Been invited, have you?

yes I have so shut your mouth!

Last night it was muggy here because an incoming storm, I hate it when it is muggy which is another reason why I will never live in the south. MY family is from the south but you will never see me return. I have never seen a possum and I want it to stay that way unless it is on vacation in New Orleans during Mardi Gra. Where I live are insects expcept pine beetles are normal size and we don't have spiders that could eat you or anything called an alligator fish.

Well c'mon up to Chicago, we've plenty of opossums and raccoons too. Like foxes? Wolves? Deer? Bears? Coyotes? All around here.