Deadpool at the Kentucky Derby

[Abishai100]

I like how comic book art speaks to a pedestrian fascination with civics fortunes and vigilantism-daydreams.

Will this art form become more popular during the capitalism-subjective reign of the Trump Administration?

Perhaps I'm being subjective...



====

DEADPOOL: Did you hear the Raiders (NFL) are moving to Vegas?
FRIEND: Are you a fan of sports?
DEADPOOL: I'm Shiva the god of death.
FRIEND: Do you like modern media (TV, Internet, etc.)?
DEADPOOL: I'm not opposed to global coverage of global events.
FRIEND: What about censorship?
DEADPOOL: Hey, free-speech enables me to say, "God is a gambler."
FRIEND: You'd like the Al Pacino movie The Merchant of Venice.
DEADPOOL: Ya know, in some ways I'm the opposite of Shylock (I'm a mercenary!).
FRIEND: Is there honor among thieves?
DEADPOOL: It's all about rebelliousness.
FRIEND: I bet President Trump really likes you...

Deadpool headed to the Kentucky Derby to check out this year's exciting entry --- a young hotshot race-horse named Lucky Charm. Deadpool had reason to believe a terrorist action was being planned at Churchill Downs (the Kentucky arena where the Derby takes place every year). Deadpool went to Lucky Charm's stable and noticed all the news-reporters. One journalist turned to the vigilante and asked, "Why has the famous mercenary landed on Churchill Downs?" to which Deadpool replied, "I suspect the general 'charmingness' of the Derby might draw out some kind of giant albino monster."

Deadpool was right. As the race began and crowds cheered with their gambling-tickets, Deadpool noticed someone descending from above in a parachute (carrying a machine-gun and megaphone!). The race concluded first (and Lucky Charm won!) and the mysterious parachuting stranger touched down on the track and used his megaphone to say to the crowd, "You lucky affluents have gambled while the homeless in America went starving for Christmas!" Deadpool realized this 'philosopher' was obviously frustrated with the Derby's celebration of gambling and roses.

Deadpool ran up to the stranger and dodged every bullet but a few which hit his right thigh (but healed quikly) and wrestled him to the ground and tied him up and put a gag in his mouth. He then picked up the megaphone and said to the crowd, "No worries my good Derby fans! Your favorite vigilante-hero (Deadpool) has proven that American pride is stronger than the loony cries of a random terrorist!" The police carried of the parachuting-fanatic off to jail, and Deadpool collected his prize-money (having bet wisely on Lucky Charm). He then took a photo with Lucky Charm for his wallet.

Deadpool was interviewed by TIME magazine. The interviewer asked him several questions about the ethics of gambling, the rationale-justification of the Kentucky Derby terrorist (now referred to in the press as 'The Parachuting Man'), and the general morale of America as it was impacted by the reign of a capitalism-subjective Trump Administration. Deadpool was shy at first (given that he knew he was a mercenary primarily), but he wanted to do the 'patriotic deed' for the good people of the USA. What Deadpool did not realize was that this interview would prompt a new psycho (a former Vegas-casino employee) to begin stalking him in the name of The Parachuting Man.

INTERVIEWER: Do you like the film Bugsy (Warren Beatty)?
DEADPOOL: Bugsy was a Vegas-hotshot. I'm simply a mercenary.
INTERVIEWER: Are you a fan of Facebook?
DEADPOOL: I like photography and photojournalism and high school yearbooks...so...yes!
INTERVIEWER: What do you think of The Parachuting Man?
DEADPOOL: He was obviously not a fan of Warren Beatty.
INTERVIEWER: No. Are you a fan of the Trump Administration?
DEADPOOL: I was a huge fan of Trump Taj Mahal...so...yes!
INTERVIEWER: The people at Churchill Downs were very grateful for your deed.
DEADPOOL: You can say I bailed them out of a tight 'rich-man's hellmouth.'
INTERVIEWER: Do you support the Derby?
DEADPOOL: If the horses are happy, then gamble away...
INTERVIEWER: Do you think sports-gambling is ethical?
DEADPOOL: I don't endorse steroids...only the Fountain of Youth.
INTERVIEWER: What about people who gamble their fortunes down the toilet?
DEADPOOL: That's between them and God (or the Devil).
INTERVIEWER: Thank you for this photo of you and Lucky Charm.
DEADPOOL: It's a great upload for Facebook, no?
INTERVIEWER: You bet.
DEADPOOL: Remember to brush your teeth in Vegas!

====

 

[MisterBeale]

Deadpool is the ultimate in Deep State mind control. I highly recommend you refrain from viewing it.

 

[Abishai100]

Scarlet Witch


Here's a story to soften the focus and take the weight off Deadpool - a more community-values oriented tale about suburbia and free-speech related pedestrian politics in Denmark involving an idealistic father-and-baby and two rogue Caucasian members of the Danish Yakuza now working for the CIA. It was inspired by the film Spy Kids (stylistically).

====

Deadpool travelled to Denmark to take care of his deceased college friend's baby who left his entire estate and welfare of his 1 year-old baby Hamlet to him. Deadpool was still emotionally recovering from his bout with the Vegas-casino employee-psycho who stalked him in the name of the bizarre Churchill Downs terrorist The Parachute Man. Deadpool was thrilled to find Hamlet waiting for him and decided to take off his vigilante-mask for a change and wear homemade wool balaclavas his girlfriend Elizabeth made for him. He posted photos on Facebook.

After a while, Deadpool became bored playing with Hamlet on Facebook. He started posting comments such as, "Terrorism is a blight and now the news that a rogue duo from Danish Yakuza are performing criminal-dominion based 'pseudo-fascist' acts on Halloween Eve suggests that citizenry passion is the best cure to urban insanity in the modern world." Unfortunately, this Yakuza duo, a Caucasian pair of mercenaries named Jeremy and (his cousin) Danielle, read Deadpool's comments and decided to kill him. Deadpool was then engaged in a terrible 'turf war' in the proverbial court of public opinion. Danielle and Jeremy were secretly now working for the CIA to infiltrate narcotics networks in Europe (to strengthen the credibility of the European Union).

To even the odds, Deadpool posted a special contest on Facebook. Users were to upload drawings made with colored-pencils that reflected the artist's intention to create art that was low-brow or 'pedestrian' without looking insulting or like vandalism/graffiti. Deadpool uploaded his adopted son's favorite child-like stick-figure drawing of Scarlet Witch and posted it next to a regular comic book cut-out of Scarlet Witch and claimed this was the sort of gender role model expectation that was spiritually demoralized with her pseudo-fascist heretical crusade. Secretly, however, Deadpool was falling in love with Danielle's 'croupier antics.'

====

 

[Abishai100]

Scarlet Witch: The Final Chapter



This short-story is in honor of Elizabeth Olsen's gripping contribution to the civics-daydream film Captain America: Civil War.

Is Olsen a Republican?


====

Scarlet Witch had to tackle three nemeses simultaneously --- Dark Phoenix (a woman energized by fire --- a real pyro), Electro (an electric-discharge psychopath who killed people at laundromats), and Leatherface (a chainsaw-wielding modern cannibal). She enlisted the help of Deadpool who realized she was actually Danielle (the ex-Yakuza merc working for the CIA in Denmark). Deadpool was head-over-heels in love and decided to shoot his machine gun at a parked cop car in which policemen were caught napping. Deadpool was excited to serve Scarlet Witch faithfully.

Dark Phoenix was committing an arson-terror attack on Caear's Palace in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Scarlet Witch and Deadpool showed up and debilitated her with a freezing-cold liquid-nitrogen mist-gun. Electro was terrorizing a laundromat one Saturday night in Pasadena, California (trying to kill people with an electrocutioner's weapon), and Scarlet Witch and Deadpool showed up and sedated him with a tranquilizer dart. Leatherface was chasing a group of NYC gang members (some 20-somethings carrying bats and bricks) with his chainsaw when Scarlet Witch and Deadpool showed up and tripped him up with a rope-gun aimed at his feet.

Deadpool and Scarlet Witch congratulated each other for a job well done across the great TrumpUSA. They were recognized by President Trump who requested a special line of 'Patriot's Day T-Shirts' with their pictures on it be made in their honor. Deadpool and Scarlet Witch were now very happy (and also now very much in love), so Deadpool broke down and couldn't resist asking Scarlet Witch (Danielle), "How did you know where Dark Phoenix, Electro, and Leatherface ('The Sinister Trio') would be?" Scarlet Witch turned to his shocked husband-to-be, kissed him on the lips, and said, "I'm psychic, you cynical and jaded fool!" Deadpool had a heart-attack but recovered and married Scarlet Witch who became a permanent fixture at the White House and a dear and close friend of eco-activist First Lady Melania Trump. No one forgot however how she made a stand against The Sinister Trio and a special clothing manufacturing company ordered a line of special red tunic-saris be made in her honor...she was knighted by Kate Middleton, sainted by the Vatican, and declared Secretary of State by the Trump Administration. Deadpool realized he found a real American princess.

====