Confounded by Chads? Don't Vote! Saturday, October 04, 2003 By Dennis Miller Hey get this I want to talk about voting. Since the recall in California is coming up, well use that for purposes of our tutorial. The lesson to be learned is this: If you are too stupid to vote correctly, dont vote! Now I know they are expecting a big turnout next week, especially now that Arianna Huffington has loosed up her three-and-a-half votes to freely roam the plains. You know, if you look up unlikable in the dictionary, well, Im not going to tell you theres an actual picture of her, but you will kinda imagine you see one sorta. Liberals in California quibble with anything to do with common sense and they now seem to be inferring that some of our citizens cannot navigate the narrow shoals of pushing a chad out with a sharp implement. It would appear that the liberal Ninth Circuit Court and other left-leaning groups herein feel that they can poke holes in anything unless of course its a punch card voting ballot. Let me reiterate, if youre such a complete zipper-head that you cannot maneuver your way around a chad, then guess what? I dont want you to vote because youll vote stupid and Im not talking about run of the mill stupidity here either. Im talking about weapon-grade stupidity. Its a chad. Deal with it. While youre at it, if you do happen to have a pipe cleaner for a brain stem, maybe you ought to practice getting in and out of the shower before you go to the polling place. Because you certainly dont want to put yourself in harms way entering and exiting the steel vault that is the voting booth. You know what? I dont believe there are voters out there who cant figure out how to vote. I think for the most part if youre that big a moron you tend to stay home on election day and hurt yourself trying to TiVo the Quick Draw McGraw marathon on the cartoon channel because Baba Looey sounds just like the voice in your head. Folks, I feel this is just another contrarian ACLU contrivance. I blame them for the fact, that California is now so far out of the main stream its not longer considered contiguous. The liberals are so wrong in this case, I feel like theyre gas-lighting me. They have somehow now managed to make empathy an intellectual exercise. Beware of that condescension and remember that liberals always feel your pain unless of course they caused it. Got that?