Child Support is unfair

Discussion in 'Clean Debate Zone' started by Aristotle, Oct 6, 2012.

  1. Katzndogz
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    Katzndogz Diamond Member

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    Is Dad under any obligation at all to see your son? This is an opportunity for you to teach your son that life is unfair and we don't always get what we want. We can't force other people do anything they don't want to do. And, you might explain to him how it happened that you had sex with a man that was a piece of crap.

    Dad refusing to see his son is NOT unfair. It simply IS. It is a circumstance beyond the control of either of you. Children need to deal with these circumstances now so that they can deal with it later in life when they find out their control over what other people do is severely limited.
     
  2. High_Gravity
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    High_Gravity Belligerent Drunk Supporting Member

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    Well depending on the age of the child, that conversation would have to be at a later time.
     
  3. Aristotle
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    Aristotle Senior Member

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    Right which is why I am withdrawing from the discussion. There are too many moms referring to their own situation and not looking st the other end of the spectrum. The OP is clear.
     
  4. Aristotle
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    Aristotle Senior Member

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    ******Warning profanity is used in video******

    The following video is proof that demonstrates that the state does get a percentage from men who pay child support. In the following video, this man was to pay child support in the amount of $250 but was able to get it down to $25 a month.

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7Hog_upvX8&feature=youtube_gdata_player]Fighting Greedy Mother's And The Unfair Child Support System And Winning - YouTube[/ame]
     
  5. Aristotle
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    Aristotle Senior Member

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    Still think child support is fair? In the following video this man found out he is the father of a 15 year-old girl and ended up in over $10k in the rear, and even spent one night in jail. He later got a DNA test proving he is not the father and even got a notorized letter with the mother's signature and acknowledging his exclusion from child support....Guess what happened next? (I apologize for the low quality)

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1nQH8sfV3Q&feature=youtube_gdata_player]Corrupt Child Support System in the United States - YouTube[/ame]
     
  6. Aristotle
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    Aristotle Senior Member

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    This is the same guy as the previous video.....

    You guys still think child support system is fair? Watch this video

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O7NCIL2F1w&feature=youtube_gdata_player"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O7NCIL2F1w&feature=youtube_gdata_player[/ame]
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2012
  7. koshergrl
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    koshergrl Diamond Member

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    What I see evidenced here is an example of people being unable to see anything except in absolutes. If they don't like the way their custody/child support arrangement has worked out, the system needs to be revamped and there is prejudice. If someone points out the reasons the system works the way it does, then that person hates dads.

    That's not the way it is at all, at least on not on my side. I've said, and I mean it when I say it, I don't dislike dads. But my experiences in this field, both personal and professional, mean I have a better understanding than most of what the reality of child support and custody is. The reality is not what these few guys are painting it as. When I ask for particulars about things like the SPECIFIC services they've been denied (as they claim) then that cues a personal attack ('you just hate dads'). When I ask whether or not a person who is bemoaning the fact that he doesn't have custody actually FILED for custody, I get silence. When I provide evidence that the climate 25 years ago most certainly did NOT favor women, my evidence is touted as "conspiracy" (despite the multiple studies that were referenced in the article).

    The fact of the matter is...men don't file for custody as often as women do. Does that indicate a bias towards women? No. It indicates a lack of motivation in men, if anything. Who may later apply for custody, and be denied by the courts as the children are already situation and comfortable in their situation. Does that indicate bias? No, that indicates that the best interests of the child take precedence over the desires of fathers who weren't interested in custody previously.

    Do only 1 in five dads have custody? Probably that's somewhat accurate. Does that represent a bias towards mothers? No, considering only 2 out of five dads ever file for custody. That works out to about 50 percent of dads who ask for custody actually getting it, and that doesn't illustrate any bias at all.

    There is a network of *support* for non-custody dads that touts the myth of bias against fathers, but those groups are largely populated by disgruntled fathers who have been denied custody for very valid reasons. Perhaps the mothers are a mess...but the court has determined that for whatever reason, the children are happier and safer with her than with the dads.

    Child support, even when it is paid, is typically nowhere near enough to pay 1/2 the expense of raising a child. This means that custodial parents are typically always playing catch up....they get the child support check which goes into the pot...the idea that non-custodial parents should be able to dictate to the custodial parent how, what, and when that money is spent is ludicrous, and everybody..the courts, attorneys, and reasonable people, recognize that. It's just a way to exert control over the custodial parent by a parent who is frustrated and angry.

    When there is abuse and when the children are neglected then the non custodial parent has a leg to stand on when they petition the court to take a look at the situation. But just because you resent the fact that you pay child support and mom took a vacation to go to Barbados with her boyfriend is not indicative of any abuse of children, nor does it indicate that child support is being used "inappropriately". And it never will be. Thankfull, the courts understand that.
     
  8. JeannieD
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    JeannieD Keyboard Warrior

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    I wasn't replying directly to you or addressing your specific situation; if I had been, I would have quoted you in my response. When kids are little, they don't (or at least shouldn't) have any concept of who pays for what - they take it for granted that things just are. When they get old enough to understand such things, hopefully a conversation can be had with them. I believe I was 12 or 13 when I became aware of these things.
     
  9. koshergrl
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    koshergrl Diamond Member

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    The state gets a percentage of the child support when the mothers are on assistance. If a mom is on tanf or accrues a shitload of medical bills while on medicaid, the state will attach arrears paid by the non-custodial parent to go towards those bills...and that is addressed in the application that she fills out when she applies for aid.
     
  10. Aristotle
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    Aristotle Senior Member

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    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxfJfW9fqo0&feature=youtube_gdata_player]Wife's Affair and Paternity Fraud - YouTube[/ame]
     

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