I'm still not right hours later. There was a time when one called a company and a person answered. That person may or may not have been helpful, but usually, there was a connection to somebody else if the person couldn't solve the problem. We all know and hate robo answers. On the last day of August THIS year, I got an iPhone. Actually, all I wanted was a querty keyboard and cheaper Internet access. I'm 56 years old. I don't consult my phone before breathing. I go days without needing it at all. It does keep my phone numbers for me, and my favorite restaurants are on it so I can pick up carryout after teaching night classes. Last week, as in, an eternity in Apple years, my phone messed up. Yeah, the thing that retails for hundreds of dollars malfunctioned after almost FIVE months. Brave new world. Actually, the phone still works, but it makes NO sounds. Nada. It used to beep and hiss and purr and whoosh at the touch of all buttons. Now, it doesn't even let me know a call is coming in. I turned everything to ON, but no sounds. I pulled up the local ATT store where I got the phone and the two year plan. Well, the thought that I'd actually call THAT store was a temporary thrill. WRONG. I got the ATT push the buttons crap. Somebody let me know the ATT store could not help me. I needed to go to an Apple store. Great. The nearest one is a hundred miles away. SO, I got an Apple help line. "All technicians are busy with other callers. Approximate wait time is six minutes. Go to www.crap to set up an APPOINTMENT to get a call"!!! An appointment for a PHONE CALL. I waited. Stupid bimbo wanted my phone serial number. Don't have it. Threw away all phone box stuff a month ago. Clutter. A dozen years of phones, and none has malfunctioned. Until NOW. Stupid bimbo told me to call ATT back to get the serial number. Buttons, Waits. Turns out that the ATT guy told me the serial number is ON THE DAMNED PHONE! Yep. There it was. Did bimbo know that? If not, WHY is she working there? To piss people off? Called Apple again. Buttons and wait. Gave serial number. The guy told me I'd be emailed instructions on how to update my iPhone, now woefully out of date. If I did iTunes, I would know this stuff. I do not do iTunes. I also had to pay $30 for some warranty charge. Started to do the update the phone. BUT, the plot twists. This week, my old Dell computer kind of limped off to die. I just bought a new computer that I was getting later today. Updating the iPhone meant involving the computer. The twelve year old who sold me the computer actually set up all stuff for me including a way to update the antique phone I bought last August. The new computer is sitting here in the box. I'm using a ten year old Gateway I got before the Dell. (I've gone laptop since the mid 90s.) The old Gateway is doing it, and when I bought it, I had a Nokia phone with push buttons and no screen. The world is nuts. And folks, we PAY these people to make us nuts! On the fifth call to fix the phone today, I said I was going primitive, I might do it.