Bumper stickers

[KLSuddeth]

Bumper Stickers I Like To See:



Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are a moronic asshole.




Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"




The proctologist called...they found your head.




Everyone has a photographic memory......
some just don't have any film.




Save your breath..........You'll need it to blow up your date.




Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.




I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.




WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.




Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.




Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me,"



Don't like my driving?
Then quit watching me.




If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.




Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.




Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

 

[Moi]

Once again the lack of beverage warnings!!!

They were great...print me up a few.

 

[jimnyc]

Originally posted by KLSuddeth
The proctologist called...they found your head.

That's awesome! So fitting for the fucktards that are usually driving behind me!

 

[OCA]

"Earth first, we'll log all the rest later"

"due to a shortage of paper products you must now wipe your ass with a spotted owl"

 

[KLSuddeth]

LMAO

 

[nycflasher]

Very Nice.

One of my favorites:

My child beat up your honor student.

 

[KLSuddeth]

LOL love that one too!

 

[MtnBiker]

I saw one once that said:

"My labrador retriever is smarter than your honor student kid"

Loved that one!

 

[musicman]

I almost wrecked my car when I saw this one:

Horn Broken-Watch For Finger


Another favorite:

I Love My Country-It's The US Government That Scares Me

 

[Aquarian]

this isn't mine, found it on a messageboard elsewhere, but I'm thinking about printing one for my car:

 

[Joz]

The more I learn about women
The more I love my Harley

 

[_dmp_]

If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

Funny thing is, if you slam on your brakes to cause an accident, you'll go to jail; or otherwise be held accountable...no MATTER if the person is tail-gating.

 

[KLSuddeth]

Quit raining on my parade
pissing in my cheerios
etc etc etc


:

 

[Joz]

Here's a few quotes I like (have many of them-i do magnets) not necessarily bumper stickers.

If you don't like my attitude call 1-800-who-cares

I think----Therefore we have nothing in common

PMS?! Hell, this os one on my better days.

Thank God for the IRS. Without them- I'd be stinking rich.

Not all men are annoying-Some are dead.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

I bet that attitude of yours was really cool back in high school.

Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astire did- Only backwards & in high heels.

I multi-task. I read in the bathroom

 

[Joan]

And if we could train a cucumber to take out the trash - we would have absolutely no use for a man

 

[KLSuddeth]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

Oh Joan....the more I read your posts, the fonder I grow of you!!!!!!!

 

[Isaac Brock]

Originally posted by Aquarian
this isn't mine, found it on a messageboard elsewhere, but I'm thinking about printing one for my car:

That is so amazingly good!! *Printed and stuck*

 

[5stringJeff]

Originally posted by Joz

I think----Therefore we have nothing in common

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

 

[nycflasher]

Just remembered perhaps the most clever one I've seen:


Veitnam Vets Ain't Fonda Jane.





But there are some real good ones in this thread.

 

[Aquarian]

dug out quite a few from the archives:

Top Bumper Stickers Seen Around The World


If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

Thank You For Pot Smoking.

If At First You Don't Succeed...Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.

It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

Cleverly Disguised As a Responsible Adult

If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

Honk If Anything Falls Off

Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

I Do Whatever My Rice Crispies Tell Me To

Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen upside down on a
Jeep]

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.

Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge [Reported To
Be Seen On A Restaurant]

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like
Jabba The Hut?

Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One

Ax Me About Ebonics

Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

Boldly Going Nowhere

Cat: The Other White Meat

Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!

Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That

Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Cute Little Animal
Friends

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?

If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch

Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.

Grow Your Own Dope --- Plant a Man.

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

for the ladies...
-SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME

-COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN...SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH

-I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN

-OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME

-IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN

-men are only good for one thing, and who really needs to know how to parallel park anyway?

oh look, more...

1. Constipated People
Don't Give A Shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2. Practice Safe Sex,
Go Screw Yourself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. If You Drink Don't Park,
Accidents Cause People.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4. Who Lit The Fuse
On Your Tampon?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex,
Keep Your Mouth Shut.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6. Please Tell Your Pants
Its Not Polite To Point.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt,
Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8. My Kid Got Your Honor
Roll Student Pregnant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10. To All You Virgins:
Thanks For Nothing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11. If At First You Don't Succeed...
Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of
Saying "No Hard Feelings".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
13. If You Can Read This,
I've Lost My Trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
14. Horn Broken ...
Watch For Finger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose,
But Where You Put The Booger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid,
Get Off My Ass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
17. You're Just Jealous Because
The Voices Are Talking To Me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
20. This Would Be Really Funny
If It Weren't Happening To Me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
22. Cleverly Disguised
As A Responsible Adult
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
23. If We Quit Voting
Will They All Go Away?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
24. The Face Is Familiar But
I Can't Quite Remember My Name
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
26. Illiterate? Write For Help
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost
But Miles From The Next Exit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits
With An Unarmed Person
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
33. Where Are We Going And
Why Am I In This Handbasket?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass,
Then You're Doing It Wrong...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
[Seen Upside Down On A Jeep]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph
Are Also Timed For 70mph.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service -
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
42. If Walking Is So Good For You,
Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
43. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To
Crack Open A Cold One.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
44. Ax Me About Ebonics
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
45. Body By Nautilus;
Brain By Mattel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
46. Boldly Going Nowhere
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
47. Cat: The Other White Meat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
49. Don't Be Sexist -
Bitches Hate That
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
50. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For
Eating His Animal Friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
51. Honk If You've Never Seen An
Uzi Fired From A Car Window
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down
Before He Admits He is lost?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance,
Riddle Them With Bullets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
54. Money Isn't Everything,
But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
55. Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
56. My Hockey Mom Can
Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
58. All Men Are Animals,
Some Just Make Better Pets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
59. Some people are only alive because
it is illegal to shoot them
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
60. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
61. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
62. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
65. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

THE BEST OF THE BEST OF BUMPER STICKERS SEEN IN NEW YORK CITY!

Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?

100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?

Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

DON'T PISS ME OFF! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.

You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?

All men are idiots....I married their king.

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

Hang up and drive.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.

Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.

and the *1 bumper sticker of the week..............

Honk If You Want To See My Finger
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I apologize for any repeats