Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

The ClayTaurus

Senior Member
Sep 19, 2005
7,062
333
48
Here is a little test that will help you decide.

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife,
and charges at
you.

You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor? Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,
healthier
street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!

I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a
consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click.....
(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! click

Daughter:
"Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow
Points?"
 
I would shoot the guy below the waist in the knees because that would spare the life of the terrorist while causing him immense pain to teach him a lesson and ensure that I could not be charged with attempted murder. (The way I understand it, shooting someone below the waist amounts to an assault charge.) I would assume that the terrorist does not have a bomb strapped to him, one because he has a knife that he obviously intends to use on me, and two because terrorists usually blow up crowded areas, not single families on deserted streets. So sparing Aziz's life would both keep my family safe and save me the grief of having to live with killing someone. Would you look at that! I effectively neutralized the situation without any casualties while protecting mine and my family's wellbeing! What am I? A dem, a repub, or a redneck? DANCE PRETTY BOY!!!:2guns: :dance:
 

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