An Old Farmer's Advice:

[froggy]

*Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.*

*Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.*

*Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.*

*A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.*

*Words that soak into your ears are whispered... not yelled.*

*Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.*

*Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.*

*Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.*

*It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.*

*You cannot unsay a cruel word.*

*Every path has a few puddles.*

*When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.*

*The best sermons are lived, not preached.

*Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.*

*Don't judge folks by their relatives.*

*Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.*

*Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.*

*Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.*

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.*

*If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.*

*Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.*

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.*

* Always drink upstream from the herd.*

*Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.*

*Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.*

*If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.*

*Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.*

*Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.*

*Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,

he'll just kill you!*

 

[Phoenix]

Never squat with your spurs on.

 

[alan1]

People that ride the fence end up with splinters in their crotch.

 

[Phoenix]

Never spit into the wind or spread manure with the wind at your back.