Discussion in 'Religion and Ethics' started by Warrior102, Mar 31, 2012.
I promise to be nice to the Commies - at least thru post-Easter.
Enjoy your Easter - !!!!!
I went to confession once... The priest fainted.
I went to confession... asked the priest 'is calling stupid people stupid a sin'. He said 'no'. Can't tell y'all how relieved I was.
I never made it...i burst into flames on the way over the threshold. Even the holy water wouldn't put the fire out.
you would be paying up for that sin for the rest of your life....
I confess I like sex,beer and sandwiches
No pizza ? You certainly aren't a "good" Catholic.
Good for the soul they say...
If you believe in that stuff...
As I get closer and closer to the church, my anxiety increases exponentially. Then I start screaming bloody murder, as if in the greatest pain you can imagine and as if terrified of the most horrible monster. Then I start scratching on the inside of the car windows - hoping in some desperate way that, even if I wear my fingers raw, I WILL escape.
But, alas, no escape.
We park, and as long as I keep my eyes on the floor of the car, studying every individual fiber of the car carpeting, I can compose myself enough to pull the latch to the car door.
I hear the latch; my anxiety rises again, but I can still open the door.
Breathe in for a count of five; breathe out for a count of five. Don't move a muscle, now. Focus.
Breathe in for five, out for five.
I can move again. I swing my legs out, still keeping my eyes on the ground.
I tell myself to study each stone in the asphalt. It works.
I'm led carefully, slowly but steadily to the church entrance.
Breathe. I can make it, I tell myself.
Then, out of some ingrained habit, I automatically reach for the holy water. I'm too focused on the floor tiles to think, and habit sets in.
My hand goes into the holy water while I study the mortar between tiles. It could be cleaner, I think.
My hand then touches my forehead and the pain.................
It burns! It burns! I scream again and again.
Thankfully, I pass out.
The next thing I know, I wake up in the hospital ER, apparently airlifted out with third degree burns on my hand and forehead.
Anyway, I digress. Nope, didn't make it to confession today.
You burst into flame too huh?
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