Ahhhhhhhhhhh........Just Went to Confession

Discussion in 'Religion and Ethics' started by Warrior102, Mar 31, 2012.

  1. Warrior102
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    Warrior102 Gold Member

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    I promise to be nice to the Commies - at least thru post-Easter.

    Thanks.

    Enjoy your Easter - !!!!!
     
  2. Big Black Dog
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    Big Black Dog Gold Member Supporting Member

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    I went to confession once... The priest fainted.
     
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  3. California Girl
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    California Girl BANNED

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    I went to confession... asked the priest 'is calling stupid people stupid a sin'. He said 'no'. Can't tell y'all how relieved I was.
     
  4. syrenn
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    I never made it...i burst into flames on the way over the threshold. Even the holy water wouldn't put the fire out.
     
  5. syrenn
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    you would be paying up for that sin for the rest of your life....
     
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  6. laughinReaper
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    laughinReaper Senior Member

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    I confess I like sex,beer and sandwiches
     
  7. Douger
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    Douger BANNED

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    No pizza ? You certainly aren't a "good" Catholic.
     
  8. hjmick
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    hjmick Gold Member

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    Good for the soul they say...

    If you believe in that stuff...
     
  9. Si modo
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    Si modo Diamond Member

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    As I get closer and closer to the church, my anxiety increases exponentially. Then I start screaming bloody murder, as if in the greatest pain you can imagine and as if terrified of the most horrible monster. Then I start scratching on the inside of the car windows - hoping in some desperate way that, even if I wear my fingers raw, I WILL escape.

    But, alas, no escape.

    We park, and as long as I keep my eyes on the floor of the car, studying every individual fiber of the car carpeting, I can compose myself enough to pull the latch to the car door.

    I hear the latch; my anxiety rises again, but I can still open the door.

    Breathe in for a count of five; breathe out for a count of five. Don't move a muscle, now. Focus.

    Breathe in for five, out for five.

    I can move again. I swing my legs out, still keeping my eyes on the ground.

    I tell myself to study each stone in the asphalt. It works.

    I'm led carefully, slowly but steadily to the church entrance.

    Breathe. I can make it, I tell myself.

    Then, out of some ingrained habit, I automatically reach for the holy water. I'm too focused on the floor tiles to think, and habit sets in.

    My hand goes into the holy water while I study the mortar between tiles. It could be cleaner, I think.

    My hand then touches my forehead and the pain.................

    It burns! It burns! I scream again and again.

    Thankfully, I pass out.

    The next thing I know, I wake up in the hospital ER, apparently airlifted out with third degree burns on my hand and forehead.












    Anyway, I digress. Nope, didn't make it to confession today. ;)
     
  10. syrenn
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    You burst into flame too huh?

    :lmao:
     

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