Would You Remarry?

[Nienna]

If, tomorrow, your spouse passed away, or if you got divorced, would you remarry?

 

[CrimsonWhite]

You can't be alone forever. It's not healthy.

 

[KarlMarx]

Chances of divorce for 2nd marriages is about 66%. That's not a risk I want to take.

Divorces are messy, expensive and emotionally devastating. I can come up with a very long list of things that would better take up my remaining years rather than hoping that I don't get divorced again and if it happens, trying to dig out from under it again.

Over the years, I've come to notice that many women view men as something of a commodity. Someone to fix the sink or the car in exchange for sex. When they get tired of, or don't have any use for their current boyfriend, they exchange them for another. That doesn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling that I'm going to have a life partner to take care of me and love me until my dying day.

Frankly, I'm expecting my ride to the finish line to be solo.

 

[KarlMarx]

You can't be alone forever. It's not healthy.

By the way, I hear that elephant hunting in Alabama is easier because in Alabama... the tusks are looser. Get it? Tusks - are - looser....


ok, ok, well it was funny when Groucho Marx said it!

 

[Joz]

Chances of divorce for 2nd marriages is about 66%......
Over the years, I've come to notice that many women view men as something of a commodity. Someone to fix the sink or the car in exchange for sex.....
Frankly, I'm expecting my ride to the finish line to be solo.

And you don't think that men have used women? Give me a break with your sexist attitude. There are women & men who actually value their partner.
Maybe you should find out why you choose these types of women.

 

[KarlMarx]

And you don't think that men have used women? Give me a break with your sexist attitude. There are women & men who actually value their partner.
Maybe you should find out why you choose these types of women.

Did I hit a nerve? Then what I posted must have an element of truth. You have the presumption that I date the people I describe, and you presume ..... wrong.

I can only speak from my own viewpoint, that isn't "sexist". I am well aware that men use women, thank you.

I'm not referring to my experiences alone. I am telling you what I've observed happen to others over the years at work, socially, etc. I don't believe psychoanalyzing myself will make up for other people's shortcomings.

Finally..... my "sexist attitude" is what helps me to avoid choosing "those types" of women to begin with

 

[Nienna]

I enjoy having a partner in life. But, all other things being equal, if my husband died tomorrow, I really doubt if I would remarry, at least not for a long time. My first consideration would have to be my children. Even if a man was crazy enough to want to marry me knowing I have FOUR kids, I would have serious reservations about it. It wouldn't be enough for him to just "tolerate" my kids; I would require actual love for them. It would be a rare man who could do that, it seems to me. And then, I would always probably feel like it was a little unfair for me to burden him with such a large family. Maybe after my kids were grown, I would have a stronger desire to remarry.

 

[Joz]

Did I hit a nerve? Then what I posted must have an element of truth. You have the presumption that I date the people I describe, and you presume ..... wrong.
I can only speak from my own viewpoint,that isn't "sexist". I am well aware that men use women, thank you.
I'm not referring to my experiences alone. I am telling you what I've observed happen to others over the years at work, socially, etc. I don't believe psychoanalyzing myself will make up for other people's shortcomings.
Finally..... my "sexist attitude" is what helps me to avoid choosing "those types" of women to begin with

Yes, you hit a nerve.

The fact that there are women as you described doesn't make your comment any less sexist. The mere fact that you speak in a condescending manner says otherwise. I gave you more credit than what I see here. You spoke as if from experience, so what other assumption could I draw? Psychoanalyzing yourself just might help your attitude about women.
I'm tired of men judging me by the women they know or by the fact that I am a woman. A few of us do have something to offer.

 

[Joz]

I enjoy having a partner in life. But, all other things being equal, if my husband died tomorrow, I really doubt if I would remarry, at least not for a long time. My first consideration would have to be my children. Even if a man was crazy enough to want to marry me knowing I have FOUR kids, I would have serious reservations about it. It wouldn't be enough for him to just "tolerate" my kids; I would require actual love for them. It would be a rare man who could do that, it seems to me. And then, I would always probably feel like it was a little unfair for me to burden him with such a large family. Maybe after my kids were grown, I would have a stronger desire to remarry.

When I split from my boys father I assured them they would come first and that I would not complicate their lives further by bringing another man into this house. Not that I wouldn't date nor want to ever get married again, it would just have to wait. Musicman knows that if Zachary had lived, our relationship would be much different than it currently is.

I think Mom that you would want to remarry, because you have been happy with your companion. It's natural to want love and affection. And the man would have to be very special to want to take on that responsibility. But I've known some who have. Those kinds of men, do exist.

 

[P&CA admin]

I most probably would... I married late in the first place...though I lived with my eldest daughters father for 6 years...I have been married twice...First hubby and I did not work out well and we never should have even went through the motions...I made a huge mistake it of course ended in divorce.....Second hubby...my current partner...he's a prince and I adore him .... My life would be quite empty if he were not here...I just found out that my ex-husband who got remarried 4 months after our divorce ...well his wife and I get on wonderfully...she has just informed me she is seeing an attorney this week to file Divorce papers... Everything she told me sounded like I was reliving my time with him...he didn't change one drop...
Damn gave too much info didn't I ?

 

[P&CA admin]

It's natural to want love and affection. And the man would have to be very special to want to take on that responsibility. But I've known some who have. Those kinds of men, do exist.

I chose this part of your post because it is sooo true...
I for one have found one of those special men, they are out there...

 

[Annie]

Chances of divorce for 2nd marriages is about 66%. That's not a risk I want to take.

Divorces are messy, expensive and emotionally devastating. I can come up with a very long list of things that would better take up my remaining years rather than hoping that I don't get divorced again and if it happens, trying to dig out from under it again.

Over the years, I've come to notice that many women view men as something of a commodity. Someone to fix the sink or the car in exchange for sex. When they get tired of, or don't have any use for their current boyfriend, they exchange them for another. That doesn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling that I'm going to have a life partner to take care of me and love me until my dying day.

Frankly, I'm expecting my ride to the finish line to be solo.

I have to give you a high five there. Different exchanges, same thing. If I were to meet someone, that would be cool, but I have and still haven't the desire yet to make it permanent. I keep saying it's because of my dad, kids, whathaveyou, but I know that's wearing thin. Money for him isn't the obstacle, but it's my reason. Soooo

 

[Annie]

And you don't think that men have used women? Give me a break with your sexist attitude. There are women & men who actually value their partner.
Maybe you should find out why you choose these types of women.

*Ahem* You haven't 'tied the knot' have you? Just asking...

 

[Joz]

*Ahem* You haven't 'tied the knot' have you? Just asking...

Ahem what???

The fact that I haven't said "I do" yet has no bearing on this conversation. There are some very personal things that I need to take care of that is no one else's business. I do sport a pretty nice rock on my finger if that's what you're asking.

 

[1549]

Chances of divorce for 2nd marriages is about 66%. That's not a risk I want to take.

Divorces are messy, expensive and emotionally devastating. I can come up with a very long list of things that would better take up my remaining years rather than hoping that I don't get divorced again and if it happens, trying to dig out from under it again.

Statistics can be decieving though. There may be a time that is right for a second marriage.

If someone gets divorced or loses their spouse at a relatively young age (20-30-40-50), then work, kids, and the general stress of the rat race could make a remarriage as difficult as the first.

However, when the kids are off at college and a person begins to work less or retires, it would be a better time to marry. Many older couples marry a 'travel partner', someone they can share their travels with.

I would guess that people that re-marry after retirement have a better perspective of things and the marriages have greater than 66% success.

I am not even finished with my first year of college, so I do not have the best field of experience for answering this question. Just figured I would put that thought out there.

 

[dilloduck]

To the right person?--maybe. The future is a toughie.

 

[Mr. P]

Would You Remarry?
If, tomorrow, your spouse passed away, or if you got divorced, would you remarry?

Probably not.

 

[Shattered]

Yes, you hit a nerve.

The fact that there are women as you described doesn't make your comment any less sexist. The mere fact that you speak in a condescending manner says otherwise. I gave you more credit than what I see here. You spoke as if from experience, so what other assumption could I draw? Psychoanalyzing yourself just might help your attitude about women.
<b>I'm tired of men judging me by the women they know or by the fact that I am a woman. A few of us do have something to offer.</b>

I'm coming in a little late, but on Karl's behalf, I don't see where he said he was judging you in any way, shape, or form, or stated that you "have nothing to offer".

I don't think his post was all that sexist, either.. He spoke from a male's (his) standpoint, based on whatever he chose to use as an example in his life.

Women do it all the time as well.

 

[Nienna]

Probably not.

That's it? LOL! Care to expound on that reply?

 

[manu1959]

i would miss my wife.....not sure i could remarry