Would eHarmony hooked you up with your spouse or significant other?

[PoliticalChic]

My mother constantly complains that my dad doesn't take her anywhere. He's my father, I love him, but he for some reason he never learned to appreciate traveling. So I was thinking that as a joke that I would post my mother's profile on eHamony and see what kind of men would be matched up with her. I realized in time that this would be opening a Pandora's Box so I abandoned the idea.

But then my husband and I were pondering if a dating or mating service would have hooked us up to each other.

We're from different ethnic backgrounds and religions. He's significantly older than me. He is meticulous to a fault, and is quite the planner.

He's very honest and can be quite cutting at times. I tend to be "nicer" relative to him. I'll give people the benefit of the doubt, while he tends to be more of a cynic.

We do have lots in common like similar childhood. We both are voracious readers and like to debate. We've been told by people that our standards are too high and have a tendency to be judgemental.

What do you think? If each of you wrote a profile about yourself and listed what you wanted in a mate, do you think you would have been matched with your significant other or spouse?

 

[Mad Scientist]

I think you just described my wife and I though she's only 4 years younger than me! I am the quiet one, she's talkative. I can't imagine being married to someone as quiet as me, I'd always be suspicious! When I do voice my concerns she says I can be "harsh" which is probably true. We are both of different ethnicities also. We have the same political views and like to debate as much as you and your hubby do. I'm meticulous, plan and prioritize endlessly. She is very outgoing, has friends in all 50 states probably and is on the phone constantly. I have very few friends but I'm not anti-social. I just prefer activities where I can be alone and concentrate, like building R/C model airplanes, guitar or reading. Since we moved here to Pennsylvania I've been thinking of getting into hunting, the ultimate loner sport huh?

We've been together for 10 years and I think we're a perfect match.

My advice to you: Stay away from the dating sites if you want to remain married. Don't compare what you have to what you might have. The grass is never greener on the other side of the fence.

If you having marital problems, discuss them directly with your spouse even if it is painful to do so.

And do it now!

 

[editec]

Until eHarmony includes smell-o-linking, it won't be a really effective way of finding a mate, I think.​

Woman, or so I am informed, unconciously choose mates whose immune antibodies are very much different than theirs.

They do this, we are informed, unconsciously, but based on how we men smell.

This theory has been tested in clinical situations where woman are allowed to smell mens tshirts and based on nothing but that, they are asked to select which man they'd prefer to be with.

The outcome?

Woman choose the t-shirts of men whose immunological systems where most unlike theirs.

This probably explains why there are so many songs written from a male perspecitve asking the musical question..

Is she really going out with?
Is she really going to take him home tonight?​

This leads me to think we need news adage to describe the mating game. I propose the following:​

Girls don't make passes
At men with bad gasses​

and​

Fair ladies hearts aren't won
by
men faint of farts ​

 

[GigiBowman]

I'm going to agree eith editec


I was a single mom for about 6 years after I divorced my husband of 12 years (nazi bastid). When I became single I was about 35 and times had changed and the computer was suddenly a big instrument in meeting people. I went into a chat room on aol that was specific for my area and from there I met lots of women friends and men friends who were in the same place as me. We would talk in a chatroom or in im's all week long and once a week the lot of us would meet at one particular bar and it was than that you got to meet the people whom you were talking to. The room grew as time went on and the bar we went to kept moving to accomodate all of us!

I learned one very important thing from this experience. No matter how well you get along with someone online. No matter how well your brains mesh or your sense of humor is similar or your conversation is magical......none of it means a thing.

It's all about physical body chemistry.

I can't tell you how many men I met online and got along with that when I met in person I could not ever bring myself to kiss. And its not like I was shallow and did not give these men a chance. I would date them and go out to dinner and spend time talking in person to men I got along with in online conversations......but amazingly enough, I never ever felt compelled to even kiss 99% of the men who I got along with in online conversation.

I met my husband when I walked into a bar with a friend and I saw this intoxicated guy singing karaoke "Sweet Child of Mine" and in two seconds, without ever talking to him.....I just knew he was the one lol.

 

[chloe]

sadly no, I would prolly be one of the ones who got rejected from eharmony...he he

 

[Silence]

He's very honest and can be quite cutting at times. I tend to be "nicer" relative to him. I'll give people the benefit of the doubt, while he tends to be more of a cynic.

Not to derail your thread but my lord if you're nicer than your husband I'd hate to run into your husband.....he must be a real asshole

 

[chloe]

Policitcal chics a sweetheart ! (just my opinion) but then I pretty much like everyone on this board with only a few exceptions....

 

[Silence]

Policitcal chics a sweetheart ! (just my opinion) but then I pretty much like everyone on this board with only a few exceptions....

well I'm just basing it on her treatment of people who disagree with her politically. I'm sure she's very nice when not talking politics

 

[chloe]

Your nice too Silence

 

[Andrew2382]

<----nicest guy in here in my opinion

 

[007]

I'm single, and I keep getting this eHarmony spam in my yahoo email. So I went there out of pure curiosity and filled out their mega long questioniare to find my "perfect match," and it said *THERE ARE NO MATCHES*! Now either eHarmony ain't all what it's cracked up to be, or I'm one picky sons a bitch.

In any case, that was the first and last time I ever gave thought to trying to meet someone on the internet.

 

[PoliticalChic]

I hope nobody goes into diabetic shock, so just a warning, but for my husband and I, it was love at first sight.

Obviously, if he didn't have the personality, the relationship would have been short-lived. IMO, the chemistry has to be there.

Actually, everyone was opposed to the relationship-- family, friends, innocent bystanders. They thought the difference in age would be too much of an obstacle. The fact that he was of a different ethnic and religious background wasn't welcome either.

Basically, I figuratively said "f--k you" to everyone and went my own way. I'm not saying you should go against your family, but I truly felt that there would not be anyone else for me.

I think editec and Gigi are absolutely right, the presence of the person is really up there in priority. A person can look real good on paper, but can be a letdown once you meet them.

I guess that makes us somewhat "shallow" that we care some much about appearance. We're humans, not robots.

Mad Scientist, Thanks for the warning. "Why go out for hamburgers when you have steak at home?"

 

[PoliticalChic]

I'm single, and I keep getting this eHarmony spam in my yahoo email. So I went there out of pure curiosity and filled out their mega long questioniare to find my "perfect match," and it said *THERE ARE NO MATCHES*! Now either eHarmony ain't all what it's cracked up to be, or I'm one picky sons a bitch.

In any case, that was the first and last time I ever gave thought to trying to meet someone on the internet.

There is someone out there for you. Being picky is a good thing. That means you have standards.

 

[Andrew2382]

She better be hot and have anice ass

yeah i'm shallow

 

[PoliticalChic]

She better be hot and have anice ass

yeah i'm shallow

How about if she is dumb as a box of rocks?

 

[Andrew2382]

How about if she is dumb as a box of rocks?

hmmmm

depends

Can she cook?

 

[PoliticalChic]

hmmmm

depends

Can she cook?

Then a muscular Cromagnum woman might do for you... Do you like meals cooked on a open fire?

 

[Andrew2382]

nono remember rule 1

she has to be hot with a nice ass

 

[PoliticalChic]

nono remember rule 1

she has to be hot with a nice ass

That's a tall order. And has to cook...

Maybe my younger sister. She just got out of Alcatraz and is on her way to Fiji...

 

[Againsheila]

My mother constantly complains that my dad doesn't take her anywhere. He's my father, I love him, but he for some reason he never learned to appreciate traveling. So I was thinking that as a joke that I would post my mother's profile on eHamony and see what kind of men would be matched up with her. I realized in time that this would be opening a Pandora's Box so I abandoned the idea.

But then my husband and I were pondering if a dating or mating service would have hooked us up to each other.

We're from different ethnic backgrounds and religions. He's significantly older than me. He is meticulous to a fault, and is quite the planner.

He's very honest and can be quite cutting at times. I tend to be "nicer" relative to him. I'll give people the benefit of the doubt, while he tends to be more of a cynic.

We do have lots in common like similar childhood. We both are voracious readers and like to debate. We've been told by people that our standards are too high and have a tendency to be judgemental.

What do you think? If each of you wrote a profile about yourself and listed what you wanted in a mate, do you think you would have been matched with your significant other or spouse?

Not a chance, my husband's a stick in the mud and I have a bubbly personality. My best friend is also a bubbly person and her husband too is a stick in the mud. Hey, what can you do, we love them. They've been married two years longer than we have and we've been married 27 years.