Wife has breast cancer...

[0311]

She's 58, no breast cancer with mom and sisters.
1 cm, stage 2.
Now to make the most agonizing decision:
Mastectomy or lumpectomy.
Surgeon wants to do the latter.
Any help on this will surely be appreciated.
Thank you so much.

I'm so very sorry to hear of your wife's diagnosis. Wishing the best for her.

 

[OhPleaseJustQuit]

Wife was in same boat a couple years ago, and while doctors wanted to remove the lump and do chemo, she opted for a double mastectomy and reconstruction surgery. So far, Cancer free.
It is a shitty choice either way, but she had no interest in Chemotherapy.

.

She sounds like a smart woman.

Best of luck to you both and God Bless.

.

 

[jwoodie]

She's 58, no breast cancer with mom and sisters.
1 cm, stage 2.
Now to make the most agonizing decision:
Mastectomy or lumpectomy.
Surgeon wants to do the latter.
Any help on this will surely be appreciated.
Thank you so much.

Why not do the lumpectomy first?

 

[SmokeALib]

Why not do the lumpectomy first?

She is leaning that way. It's the daily radiation treatments that she'll have to deal with....

 

[JustAnotherNut]

Thank you.

Depends on your wife's personality and how she's been taking the news so far, but I know what helped me get thru it was taking charge of the disease and how others treated me because of it. I didn't want anyone's pity, or fearful or sad looks or long comparisons of others experiences and I sure didn't want anyone to treat me any different. My cancer, my way.

After the initial shock and having told hubs and my kids, and the looks on their faces, I was determined that cancer wasn't going to have the last word. I told everyone that if you can't make me laugh and forget what day it was, then please stay away cause I don't need the negativity. I cut my hair (21 inches) before I started chemo, cause I didn't want to lose it all from chemo. I did not wear a wig or a hat unless it was too cold going into winter. I don't think your wife will lose her hair from radiation, I think that's only with chemo. IDK

I did take a 6 month leave of absence from work, but other than that I did everything I had done before......cooking, cleaning, gardening, canning, shopping, etc. This gave me and my family something of a sense of normalcy. But when going out in public I couldn't control strangers reactions and they could be anything from the pitiful looks, or fear and avoiding me as if it were catching. Even a few seemed angry. Whatever......I still held my bald head high and continued on.



Some pointers for you.......treat her the same as always. Let her know by words and actions that you love her and still find her to be the sexiest thing on the planet. Those are just a few things women with breast cancer worry about, after surgery. "will he still love me, will he still want me',......that does NOT mean to follow thru on it, unless she is willing and able. She may be exhausted 24/7, but atleast let her know it. While many men want to 'baby' their women and do everything for them, it really doesn't help her to become too dependent. Although an extra set of hands doing chores, or preparing a meal now & then is always appreciated.

Best wishes for you both.

 

[Rocko]

I understand, and of course we have discussed with her PCP and surgeon. I suppose I'm just looking for some support from others that have been through this...

I haven’t been through anything like that before, but I extend my thoughts and prayers to you and your wife.

 

[SootedUpCyndi]

Depends on your wife's personality and how she's been taking the news so far, but I know what helped me get thru it was taking charge of the disease and how others treated me because of it. I didn't want anyone's pity, or fearful or sad looks or long comparisons of others experiences and I sure didn't want anyone to treat me any different. My cancer, my way.

After the initial shock and having told hubs and my kids, and the looks on their faces, I was determined that cancer wasn't going to have the last word. I told everyone that if you can't make me laugh and forget what day it was, then please stay away cause I don't need the negativity. I cut my hair (21 inches) before I started chemo, cause I didn't want to lose it all from chemo. I did not wear a wig or a hat unless it was too cold going into winter. I don't think your wife will lose her hair from radiation, I think that's only with chemo. IDK

I did take a 6 month leave of absence from work, but other than that I did everything I had done before......cooking, cleaning, gardening, canning, shopping, etc. This gave me and my family something of a sense of normalcy. But when going out in public I couldn't control strangers reactions and they could be anything from the pitiful looks, or fear and avoiding me as if it were catching. Even a few seemed angry. Whatever......I still held my bald head high and continued on.



Some pointers for you.......treat her the same as always. Let her know by words and actions that you love her and still find her to be the sexiest thing on the planet. Those are just a few things women with breast cancer worry about, after surgery. "will he still love me, will he still want me',......that does NOT mean to follow thru on it, unless she is willing and able. She may be exhausted 24/7, but atleast let her know it. While many men want to 'baby' their women and do everything for them, it really doesn't help her to become too dependent. Although an extra set of hands doing chores, or preparing a meal now & then is always appreciated.

Best wishes for you both.

 

[SootedUpCyndi]

View attachment 935080

i meant i felt bad for you -stoopid.

 

[SweetSue92]

She's 58, no breast cancer with mom and sisters.
1 cm, stage 2.
Now to make the most agonizing decision:
Mastectomy or lumpectomy.
Surgeon wants to do the latter.
Any help on this will surely be appreciated.
Thank you so much.

I'm so sorry to hear this. The good news is that breast cancer treatment has come a long way, and her prognosis is undoubtedly good.

 

[Rodimus]

She's 58, no breast cancer with mom and sisters.
1 cm, stage 2.
Now to make the most agonizing decision:
Mastectomy or lumpectomy.
Surgeon wants to do the latter.
Any help on this will surely be appreciated.
Thank you so much.

I pray for your wife and you and your whole family.

 

[MarathonMike]

My wife said the radiation was about 4 weeks and wasn't bad she just felt tired mainly, but not sick.