Next up on the USMB:
Penis Wars, Starring Bootneck and roomy, 2 of England's biggest bullshitters!
Sounds like the Battle of the Bulge, all over again!
Why do YOU swear ?
- Thread starter Yukon
- Start date
Sounds like the Battle of the Bulge, all over again!
I remember when I was five and I asked my mate Dave what a penis was. He said he didn't know, so I decided to ask my dad.
So, that evening, when dad got home from work, I asked him what a penis was. He gladly exposed himself and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a penis. In fact, if you take a good look you will see this is a perfect penis."
The next day I met up with Dave and called him behind a hedge. I exposed myself and said to Dave, "This is a penis. In fact, if it were three inches shorter it would be a perfect penis!"
So, that evening, when dad got home from work, I asked him what a penis was. He gladly exposed himself and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a penis. In fact, if you take a good look you will see this is a perfect penis."
The next day I met up with Dave and called him behind a hedge. I exposed myself and said to Dave, "This is a penis. In fact, if it were three inches shorter it would be a perfect penis!"
roomy
The Natural
- Apr 22, 2006
- 4,862
- 984
- 48
Aw jeez. I so wished I had an eight inch penis...
...instead of this thing that hangs almost to the knee.
Did I mention the size it gets when vexed?
No. Do you want to run it up the flag pole to see who salutes it?
God save the queen and the Sars spangled Banner would drown each other out in a cacophony of noise.
Last edited:
Did I mention the size it gets when vexed?
No. Do you want to run it up the flag pole to see who salutes it?
God save the queen and the Sars spangled Banner would drown each other out in a cacophony of noise.
Surely, 'Thy Rod and Thy Staff' would be more appropriate.
submarinepainter
Rookie
- Banned
- #125
How would know if Jesus swore?
I like Bullshitarina myself
JW How do you the balls are salty ?
Againsheila
Gold Member
lol...oh man.....
Okay, joke time, to get my mind off that image...so a guy walks into a bar and asks if he can get free drinks if he can get someone to play the piano. The bartender says "sure". The man pulls a 10 inch Pianist out of his pocket. The pianist proceeds to play through the classics with such ability as to astound the customers and the bartender. The bartender says "Where did you get that guy?"
"I got him from the Genie of this lamp," and he pulls and old lamp out of his jacket.
The bartender says "Can I try it?"
"Sure"
So the bartender rubs the lamp and when the Genie comes out, he asks for a million bucks, whereupon the entire bar fills up with ducks. The bartender looks at the man and the man says, "You don't really think I asked for a 10 inch pianist do you?"
Againsheila
Gold Member
omg..and I can't give you any rep, I gotta spread it around first.
Gunny
Gold Member
Did I mention the size it gets when vexed?
No. Do you want to run it up the flag pole to see who salutes it?
God save the queen and the Sars spangled Banner would drown each other out in a cacophony of noise.
Great. Now I have to make a United Kingdom forum just to keep you two separate from the civilized folk.
Phoenix
fideli certa merces
No. Do you want to run it up the flag pole to see who salutes it?
God save the queen and the Sars spangled Banner would drown each other out in a cacophony of noise.
Great. Now I have to make a United Kingdom forum just to keep you two separate from the civilized folk.
But you have to admit they're a lot of fun to watch.
Phoenix
fideli certa merces
The poll needs more choices.
There is no selection for persons who only use vile, profane or vulgar words only in specific circumstances.
There is no selection for persons who only use vile, profane or vulgar words only in specific circumstances.
KittenKoder
Senior Member
So then, real ladies don't ever get married, since swearing is required.
Bullshit! I know plenty of well spoken and refined ladies who can swear like troopers. Especially when their other half crosses the line. Take my mate Dave. He married a Rodean educated posh bitch he met at a debutante ball. Boy could she swear.
He left work early one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he spent the weekend (and all his money) drinking and watching soccer with the boys. When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife really got on his case and stayed on it.
After a couple of hours of swearing - language that would make a matelot blush - and screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and made him an offer. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days?!?"
Dave couldn't believe his luck, so he looked up, smiled and said,"That would suit me just fine!!"
Monday went by, and Dave didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn't see her.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Even the Queen of England swears!
Prince Phillip and the Queen were dining in one of London's top restaurants.
The waiter asked Phillip what he would like to order.
" I'll have two rare steaks my good fellow "
Waiter " does sir mean two bloody steaks "
Phillip " yes quite right old chap 2 bloody steaks "
Queen " and plenty of fucking chips "
Prince Phillip and the Queen were dining in one of London's top restaurants.
The waiter asked Phillip what he would like to order.
" I'll have two rare steaks my good fellow "
Waiter " does sir mean two bloody steaks "
Phillip " yes quite right old chap 2 bloody steaks "
Queen " and plenty of fucking chips "
JW Frogen
Gold Member
- May 10, 2009
- 6,220
- 1,243
- 155
I really, really, really can use some abuse from a swearing FemiNAZI right now.
If you are out there, please e-mail me.
URGENT!!!!!!!!!
KittenKoder
Senior Member
LOL
Feminazi is actually fowl language but he is too stupid to know that. As for the "abuse" ... they have sites for that.
Similar threads
New Topics
-
Democrats propaganda explained in simple sentences.- Started by Robert W
- Replies: 0
-
-
-
-
