Why do people act like it's wrong to wait until marriage?

Pedro de San Patricio

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I'm pleased that it's not considered socially mandatory anymore. I really am. People should absolutely be able to fuck who they like. That said, I've found public opinion seems not just to have loosened on this issue but to have turned a 180 on it. You can't even acknowledge that you're happy to admit you're a virgin without people thinking that you need mental help, or admit that you're waiting until after marriage without being considered some kind of reject. I don't really understand this. Exactly what's so wrong with saving that particular experience to share with someone special to you? I can understand why other people might not want to wait, but this way makes sense too to me. You're not risking any kind of diseases. You're not risking knocking a girl up and all of the unpleasantness that comes from not being ready. My dad did that. He hooked up with a crazy bitch because she threw herself at him essentially out of jealousy. He paid for it for the next twenty years. You're not under any expectation if you just date other people who've made the same choice. Maybe it's just because I have the misfortune to be stationed in California, but I really don't get the hostility people show when I'm open about this.
 

C_Clayton_Jones

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"You can't even acknowledge that you're happy to admit you're a virgin without people thinking that you need mental help, or admit that you're waiting until after marriage without being considered some kind of reject."

Nonsense.

The vast majority couldn't care less, one way or the other.
 

JoeB131

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Hey, Pedro, somehow I don't think your Celibacy is a "lifestyle choice".

Clayton is right. Most people don't really care about anyone else's love life.

I do think attitudes have changed. When I was growing up, when my cousin, who had a lot of other issues, moved in with her boyfriend without getting married, it was considered kind of a scandal in the neighborhood.

Today it's considered normal for couples to live together before getting married, and more than likely, they are not each other's first sexual partner. These aren't anything but positive developments.
 

Luddly Neddite

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Hey, Pedro, somehow I don't think your Celibacy is a "lifestyle choice".

Clayton is right. Most people don't really care about anyone else's love life.

I do think attitudes have changed. When I was growing up, when my cousin, who had a lot of other issues, moved in with her boyfriend without getting married, it was considered kind of a scandal in the neighborhood.

Today it's considered normal for couples to live together before getting married, and more than likely, they are not each other's first sexual partner. These aren't anything but positive developments.

Same with illegitimate children.

Most of it is part and parcel of phony christian teachings and meant to control people. However, a major difference is disease.

When I came of age, the worst that could happen was VD (treatable) and pregnancy (treatable).

We didn't have to face the very real threat of AIDS.

Having said that, I agree that most people really don't care - except one's partner!
 

JoeB131

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I will go one step further. The whole notion of "Saving it for marriage" is really just an offshoot of when women were property and you expected to get an "intact" bride.

Good thing we've advanced beyond that.
 

Delta4Embassy

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I'm pleased that it's not considered socially mandatory anymore. I really am. People should absolutely be able to fuck who they like. That said, I've found public opinion seems not just to have loosened on this issue but to have turned a 180 on it. You can't even acknowledge that you're happy to admit you're a virgin without people thinking that you need mental help, or admit that you're waiting until after marriage without being considered some kind of reject. I don't really understand this. Exactly what's so wrong with saving that particular experience to share with someone special to you? I can understand why other people might not want to wait, but this way makes sense too to me. You're not risking any kind of diseases. You're not risking knocking a girl up and all of the unpleasantness that comes from not being ready. My dad did that. He hooked up with a crazy bitch because she threw herself at him essentially out of jealousy. He paid for it for the next twenty years. You're not under any expectation if you just date other people who've made the same choice. Maybe it's just because I have the misfortune to be stationed in California, but I really don't get the hostility people show when I'm open about this.
What other people do with their own bodies isn't my business, nor do I pretend to care. Wanna stay a virgin go ahead. Wanna be the most promiscuous person who ever lived, knock yourself out.

The concept of virginity though is a made-up value with zero importance objectively. Whole reason for it being a thing is because of how we used to worry about heredity and lineages. And the concept here was unevenly applied to women where they were expected to stay virgins until marriage, but men could have sex with, and even reproduce to their hearts content.
 

Delta4Embassy

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I'm pleased that it's not considered socially mandatory anymore. I really am. People should absolutely be able to fuck who they like. That said, I've found public opinion seems not just to have loosened on this issue but to have turned a 180 on it. You can't even acknowledge that you're happy to admit you're a virgin without people thinking that you need mental help, or admit that you're waiting until after marriage without being considered some kind of reject. I don't really understand this. Exactly what's so wrong with saving that particular experience to share with someone special to you? I can understand why other people might not want to wait, but this way makes sense too to me. You're not risking any kind of diseases. You're not risking knocking a girl up and all of the unpleasantness that comes from not being ready. My dad did that. He hooked up with a crazy bitch because she threw herself at him essentially out of jealousy. He paid for it for the next twenty years. You're not under any expectation if you just date other people who've made the same choice. Maybe it's just because I have the misfortune to be stationed in California, but I really don't get the hostility people show when I'm open about this.
While it's not wrong to wait, it is wrong to get married just to have sex. Have the sex first, make sure you're both sexually compatible and enjoy sex together. Then decide if commiting to each other for the next 60+ years is what you both really want. If either of you are okay with the idea of getting a divorce ats ome point because things don't work out - don't get married.
 

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