Questioner
Senior Member
- Nov 26, 2019
- 1,593
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- #1
I've heard arguments from various sources that people, at least some people would be better off not getting married, or having children, and historically this has varied from person to person (some well-known individuals such as Adam Smith or Issac Newton never married, and some thinkers such as Epicurus and the Apostle Paul advised against it).
I never bought into a nihilistic worldview which just seeks to blame men or women for marriage or child-raising problems, I believe some people have managed to create a happy marriage - nevertheless, many people have asserted misery and dysfunction as a result of marriage, and every serious, mature discussion I have encountered on the topic (such as Married Love by Marie Stopes) acknowledge the potential problems and effort which one would need in order to make a marriage work, and that many people were ignorant, willfully or otherwise of this.
Many "popular" notions of marriage may have more in common with Jean Jaques Rousseau and his "romantic" worldview, or holdovers from institutions such as the Catholic Church (e.x. idealistic vows such as not parting until death, which in practice is obviously not realistic in many instances, especially in cases of abuse or neglect).
Some people also tend to romanticize archaic, 3rd world cultures, in which marriages were believed to last longer, however this often had to do with pragmatic factors, such as few options in terms of a partner, or social factors such as arranged marriages - and I don't believe any sane person is going to advocate retrogressing back to a 3rd world culture simply to solve marriage problems, nor that such an idea would be feasible, outside perhaps of a fundamentalist Mormon church, or some group of that nature.
So what are others thoughts on marriage today - how to make a marriage work, or whether or not some people should decide not to marry or have children.
(I refuse to engage in discussion with "incels" or individuals who want to turn this into a discussion about their hatred of "men / women" or something asinine like that - serious discussions are allowed only).
I never bought into a nihilistic worldview which just seeks to blame men or women for marriage or child-raising problems, I believe some people have managed to create a happy marriage - nevertheless, many people have asserted misery and dysfunction as a result of marriage, and every serious, mature discussion I have encountered on the topic (such as Married Love by Marie Stopes) acknowledge the potential problems and effort which one would need in order to make a marriage work, and that many people were ignorant, willfully or otherwise of this.
Many "popular" notions of marriage may have more in common with Jean Jaques Rousseau and his "romantic" worldview, or holdovers from institutions such as the Catholic Church (e.x. idealistic vows such as not parting until death, which in practice is obviously not realistic in many instances, especially in cases of abuse or neglect).
Some people also tend to romanticize archaic, 3rd world cultures, in which marriages were believed to last longer, however this often had to do with pragmatic factors, such as few options in terms of a partner, or social factors such as arranged marriages - and I don't believe any sane person is going to advocate retrogressing back to a 3rd world culture simply to solve marriage problems, nor that such an idea would be feasible, outside perhaps of a fundamentalist Mormon church, or some group of that nature.
So what are others thoughts on marriage today - how to make a marriage work, or whether or not some people should decide not to marry or have children.
(I refuse to engage in discussion with "incels" or individuals who want to turn this into a discussion about their hatred of "men / women" or something asinine like that - serious discussions are allowed only).