Penelope
Diamond Member
- Jul 15, 2014
- 60,260
- 15,768
- 2,210
I did not really know him. The night before my cousin had asked me if I would go out with her to a bar with band and a dance floor as she did not have a car or a way to get out to meet other people. Grand' said it would be nice of me to take her out and she'd watch the children while we were out. Dropped the children at grand's picked up cousin, drove to larger town nearby. Right away she went off onto the dance floor. She had met this guy about a half an hour after we got there, came by told me told me his name, then they disappeared. Later when I decided it was time to go she'd had enough time to make friends I couldn't find her. It took me awhile but I finally found her I told I was tired and it was time for me to go home...(a few details left out not worthy of mention)... she said she would get a ride from home with her new friends. She had been staying at my grand's house for the most part who lived near a different town but had stayed a few times in the empty apartment next to mine (grand' owned both apartments). I had all my doors locked so not sure how he got the one of the locks unlocked as I had checked them all when I got home after picking up the children from grand's house. I'd drove home, got them into to bed for the night, and check the locks before crawling into bed. The checking the locks was routine since a guy that I had gone out with before moving there had made some very serious threats when I told him it was over (old boyfriend had gotten a window open I didn't know was unlock and it was a second story window- that's how sheriff got involved watching over me). I had assumed cousins new found friends would have taken her to grand's house and dropped her off but they didn't she went to the empty apartment next to where the children and I lived. The sheriff and deputies had watched over me fairly well there and when I work in a small town nearby at a lounge, cafe, motel they would patrol there. They would cruise the parking lots all around my building that set at the edge of town at night to make sure I was safe because the children and I were alone there. The sheriff told me several times, if anyone ever comes into your house and "is a threat don't hesitate shoot them, better them than you".That is what was so hard for me in making that call back then. The pistol was slid down beside the mattress and wooden waterbed frame. I tried and tried to talk him into getting off of me as I had reached my left arm down and had the pistol worked around in my hand and ready to pull up and shoot. I only weighed 98lbs and he was a pretty good size healthy young man. At the point where I knew his anger was growing intensely and I was left with only one of two options, either shoot him or take that chance of him raping me and doing me in and possibly hurting my children who were still asleep in their bedrooms, I pulled the gun up and put it to his temple and said, "Get your ass off of me or I am going to blow it away". He didn't jump, he literally flew off of me and landed about six feet from the end of the bed. He stood there trembling as he said, "I was just kidding". I told him not something he should kid about. A few other things were said and I told him, "now get out!" It was about two years later he stopped me on the sidewalk as I was going into a store in a town nearby. He asked, "Hey do you remember me?" I was thinking, 'Yeah you little prick how could I forget'. He pleaded with me to let me show him something. It took a lot of "please" from him but I finally relented and walked up the street about a block with him. He had me stand on the sidewalk as he went into the little cafe, asking me, 'please, just wait here for a second'. He came back out with a beautiful little girl in his arms. He told me she was his little girl, how he took her to Sunday school every week. Then he started thanking me for saving him. I told him "thank God, I was going to shoot your ass".Yes, I was allowed to defend myself but questioned the matter because I really did not want to have to shoot him. Not only would I have had that on my conscience which would be hard to overcome but it would have also made one hell of a mess.Of course you are allowed to defend yourself, its a natural built in instinct ,self preservation. I do not think emotions are involved in morality. That is not an emotion but an instinctive reaction when you determined it was him or me.
I am sure you know what is moral and not. Its built in, unless ones upbringing was so faulty one becomes a sociopath.
Per instincts we have two sides in that, one a spiritual side that is from the breath of God, and the carnal side which is that portion made of earth (dust, carnal being-beastly portion, that son of perdition portion of us). Thankfully that day the spiritual side was stronger than the carnal side or a young man would have been dead, and I would have had a mess in my house, along with the guilt I would have had. Shame is not easy to overcome.
A lot of reasons and factors that people can grow up to act like or be sociopaths so I'll save that discussion for another day.
So you would rather of been killed that to kill another human being?
Did you know him or did he break into your home?
Well really you didn't know him, just of him. He certainty tried to take advantage of you, breaking and entering in your home and tried to rape you.I guess that is when a gun comes in handy, in your home, being attacked. Glad it turned out well, you not shooting him and his reaction. Reading stories like yours makes me think of getting a gun, or a stun gun, we do not have guns. I would do everything I could to fight for my life if attacked and if one has kids its their duty to protect the kids from intruders. I think one acts and depends on adrenaline and instinct when attacked.