Delta4Embassy
Gold Member
Overhearing someone at the pool offer a compliment to one of the teenaged girls the other day my mind got to gaming out the pros and cons of such a thing. My thinking is it's not a good idea. My reasoning:
Teens worry more than most about their appearence. They get critiques at school from peers and friends, bombarded with commercials about it on shows they watch, and especially when in swimwear at the pool here at home. I think while at home they should be able to relax and chill without constantly worrying about how they look. Home should the one place in the world they can simply be without stress about their appearence.
Sure, they do of course look very nice in a bikini. But my concern is, if a role model like an adult says something which to another adult is perfectly innocuous like, "You look very nice today." To a teenager already primed by media and school to value positive reviews more than they perhaps should, it's a flashing neon sign. "I look good." Then what happens the next time you and they run into each other and you don't say anything? Do they then think "They didn't say I look good today, so I must not." To adults this isn't how it goes, but to impressionable teenagers it might well be the case. So it's probably better to not make their appearence a factor in our dealings with them. Let their home life be the one hassle-free zone they don't have to fret over such reviews for a while.
The flipside is offering positive compliments boosts self-esteem. True, but at home I think it's more harmful than good. Home should be a refuge, not just another place like the mall or where ever kids hang out these days. Especially around a pool, people are naturally more self-conscious. Commenting on people's appearences, even when positively, is simply making the pool area another high-stress zone when it should be zero stress.
Just my opinions, I could be wrong.
Teens worry more than most about their appearence. They get critiques at school from peers and friends, bombarded with commercials about it on shows they watch, and especially when in swimwear at the pool here at home. I think while at home they should be able to relax and chill without constantly worrying about how they look. Home should the one place in the world they can simply be without stress about their appearence.
Sure, they do of course look very nice in a bikini. But my concern is, if a role model like an adult says something which to another adult is perfectly innocuous like, "You look very nice today." To a teenager already primed by media and school to value positive reviews more than they perhaps should, it's a flashing neon sign. "I look good." Then what happens the next time you and they run into each other and you don't say anything? Do they then think "They didn't say I look good today, so I must not." To adults this isn't how it goes, but to impressionable teenagers it might well be the case. So it's probably better to not make their appearence a factor in our dealings with them. Let their home life be the one hassle-free zone they don't have to fret over such reviews for a while.
The flipside is offering positive compliments boosts self-esteem. True, but at home I think it's more harmful than good. Home should be a refuge, not just another place like the mall or where ever kids hang out these days. Especially around a pool, people are naturally more self-conscious. Commenting on people's appearences, even when positively, is simply making the pool area another high-stress zone when it should be zero stress.
Just my opinions, I could be wrong.
