Understanding Men

[manu1959]

And what I'm trying to say is that when you tell her you love her, are you actually commenting on her cooking, style of dress, begging for something, or admitting to an affair? This is what many of these book purport. I'm serious. I made a bad choice of terms, end of story.

go to bed

 

[Said1]

Ok, look, I was trying to get to this point without going on for too long about it (nobody ever reads long posts).

Girls tend to think that guys have the same complicated thought processes that they do. I see way too many girls who read paragraphs into a sentence their guys say. These books I see talk about how when a guy says he likes you in that dress, he's really saying a whole host of other things when, in fact, he just likes you in that dress, or how every compliment or gesture means a whole novel of stuff when they usually just mean exactly what it looks like. However, when I make a few bad term choices, I get jumped all over. Look, I've admitted it was a bad idea, or maybe just poor execution, so please, just let me go extract my foot from my mouth and go to bed.

I don't think many smart women would read books like that,witout laughing. It's takes awhile to understand the person you're with, once you understand that, books like that are as good as toilette paper.

 

[GotZoom]

And what I'm trying to say is that when you tell her you love her, are you actually commenting on her cooking, style of dress, begging for something, or admitting to an affair? This is what many of these book purport. I'm serious. I made a bad choice of terms, end of story.

When I try to tell her how much I love her, it's becuase I can never find the words to tell her how I feel. Saying "I love you" is sometimes so inadequate.

I know those words really aren't..but when my heart and soul ache for her...3 words seems so small.

 

[Hobbit]

Maybe some of those guys have proven by past actions that when he says one thing, he actually means another.

This thread isn't a bad idea - should have some interesting posts.

Thanks, shoving my foot in my mouth really hurts the self-esteem, and it's good to hear that I wasn't totally idiotic. I'll try a better intro next time, but what I really meant was something along the lines of, "It's really not that complicated." It's really based on a basic concept that men and women don't get each other because they don't realize how different they are. Women ask guys what they're thinking because women think of dozens of things at once. It's a biological fact. Guys, on the other hand, are focuses, and when asked, "What are you thinking" feel like they're being put on the spot because, honestly, when a girl asks me that question, the truth is really boring, but if I take too long to answer, she'll realize I'm not being honest.

 

[GotZoom]

Thanks, shoving my foot in my mouth really hurts the self-esteem, and it's good to hear that I wasn't totally idiotic. I'll try a better intro next time, but what I really meant was something along the lines of, "It's really not that complicated." It's really based on a basic concept that men and women don't get each other because they don't realize how different they are. Women ask guys what they're thinking because women think of dozens of things at once. It's a biological fact. Guys, on the other hand, are focuses, and when asked, "What are you thinking" feel like they're being put on the spot because, honestly, when a girl asks me that question, the truth is really boring, but if I take too long to answer, she'll realize I'm not being honest.

Really?

 

[Hobbit]

go to bed

See? Blunt.

Oh, and this being a message board, I though outside participation was implied. I don't pretend to know everything, and am usually annoyed by those who do. I'll try to highlight the welcome mat next time.

 

[Hobbit]

Really?

Yes, when a girls asks me the question, "What are you thinking?" the honest answer is something along the lines of "I wonder who will win the football game" or "I think I turn left to get to that building." Last time I asked a girl the same question, just for fun, I got hit with a laundry list.

 

[manu1959]

Thanks, shoving my foot in my mouth really hurts the self-esteem, and it's good to hear that I wasn't totally idiotic. I'll try a better intro next time, but what I really meant was something along the lines of, "It's really not that complicated." It's really based on a basic concept that men and women don't get each other because they don't realize how different they are. Women ask guys what they're thinking because women think of dozens of things at once. It's a biological fact. Guys, on the other hand, are focuses, and when asked, "What are you thinking" feel like they're being put on the spot because, honestly, when a girl asks me that question, the truth is really boring, but if I take too long to answer, she'll realize I'm not being honest.

my wife and i are exact opposites of what you describe

 

[Hobbit]

my wife and i are exact opposites of what you describe

Now that really is odd. I've heard of a few other role reversals, but biologically, women can think of more things at once while guys can think with greater intensity, but only on a few things. Heck, I'm so focused that if somebody says something to me when I'm doing something else, they typically have to repeat it.

 

[Shattered]

Thanks, shoving my foot in my mouth really hurts the self-esteem, and it's good to hear that I wasn't totally idiotic. I'll try a better intro next time, but what I really meant was something along the lines of, "It's really not that complicated." It's really based on a basic concept that men and women don't get each other because they don't realize how different they are. Women ask guys what they're thinking because women think of dozens of things at once. It's a biological fact. Guys, on the other hand, are focuses, and when asked, "What are you thinking" feel like they're being put on the spot because, honestly, when a girl asks me that question, the truth is really boring, but if I take too long to answer, she'll realize I'm not being honest.

There are some guys that will tell you exactly what they're thinking, and it's not always typical, mundane boring shit.. There's one..that means the absolute world to me..that is so out of the "ordinary", or realm of what you describe.. Out of nowhere, I can say "What are you thinking?" and I'll get a detailed, concise answer..or, I'll get a "Nothing, just doing (insert random thing here).. Either way, I'll get the truth, and it's not the least bit shallow. Nor does he feel like he's being put on the spot.. (unless he's "lying"? not likely).

I just think that was a really poor generalization on your part, given your age, and lack of experience.. Sure, you're right.. There are some guys that are exactly as you described - they're not worth the time of day. They're also not quite as plentiful as you seem to think.

 

[GotZoom]

Yes, when a girls asks me the question, "What are you thinking?" the honest answer is something along the lines of "I wonder who will win the football game" or "I think I turn left to get to that building." Last time I asked a girl the same question, just for fun, I got hit with a laundry list.

OK.

So that proves that,at that moment, when she asked you what you were thinking, you were thinking about the football game..or turning left....and not a list of things.

But at the moment you asked her something, she was thinking about several things.

Whichs proves.....?

That you were thinking of one thing when she asked...and she was thinking about a lot of things when you asked.

Does that necessarily mean that this small snapshot is how life is for everyone?

 

[Hobbit]

There are some guys that will tell you exactly what they're thinking, and it's not always typical, mundane boring shit.. There's one..that means the absolute world to me..that is so out of the "ordinary", or realm of what you describe.. Out of nowhere, I can say "What are you thinking?" and I'll get a detailed, concise answer..or, I'll get a "Nothing, just doing (insert random thing here).. Either way, I'll get the truth, and it's not the least bit shallow. Nor does he feel like he's being put on the spot.. (unless he's "lying"? not likely).

I just think that was a really poor generalization on your part, given your age, and lack of experience.. Sure, you're right.. There are some guys that are exactly as you described - they're not worth the time of day. They're also not quite as plentiful as you seem to think.

Well, I've tried the honest approach, and that usually leads to disbelief and prying. Anyway, I think I've backpedaled enough by now not to look like a jerk, so I think I'll push back from this table, at least for now. I just found those books with titles like "What He's Really Thinking" to truly fit the old addage of a broken clock being right twice a day.

 

[Shattered]

Well, I've tried the honest approach, and that usually leads to disbelief and prying. Anyway, I think I've backpedaled enough by now not to look like a jerk, so I think I'll push back from this table, at least for now. I just found those books with titles like "What He's Really Thinking" to truly fit the old addage of a broken clock being right twice a day.

Trust me - it's all your age. People DO grow up...

 

[Said1]

Those books are stupid. Written for tweens.

 

[Shattered]

Those books are stupid. Written for tweens.

Hah! Tweens. I like that.

 

[Said1]

Ya know. Come to think of it, I've never asked anyone what they're thinking. I've asked "what do you think about xyz" "how's it going?" - but never "what are you thinking".

 

[Said1]

Shattered, what are you thinking?

 

[Shattered]

Shattered, what are you thinking?

My current thoughts are not fit for public viewing... :halo:

 

[no1tovote4]

My current thoughts are not fit for public viewing... :halo:

She's thinking about me!

 

[Said1]

My current thoughts are not fit for public viewing... :halo:

Meh. Whatever.


Women can be shallow and blunt too, for arguments sake of course. Thanks for asking.