skews13
Diamond Member
- Mar 18, 2017
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The United States had more mass shootings over the holiday weekend—11, to be exact—making us the Joey Chestnut of mayhem, in that no one can even hope to challenge us. Republicans insist the reason we have so many more gun killings than any other country can’t possibly be the guns—because too many Fox News viewers enjoy doing white-knuckle drive-by hits on mule deer from their Rascal scooters. So when a shooting occurs, the intrepid Fox News team reaches into the past to pluck out tired, long-rejected explanations for our uniquely horrible, very American gun violence problem.
Of course, all you really need to know about Fox News’ Tucker Carlson is that he thinks Russia—which has been led by a murderous, autocratic tyrant for years—should prevail against its smaller neighbor, Ukraine. Sadly, while Tucker has presumably gotten over the knee-jerk anti-Russia sloganeering of the Cold War, the rest of his takes come straight from the ‘50s.
Ironically, most people need cannabis’ anti-nausea effects to get through even one episode of Carlson’s show, and so by the time they tune in they’re already well on their way to multiple murder sprees before he can even begin to warn them about modern reefer madness.
Hoo-boy, Little Choad Fauntleroy was in rare form on Tuesday.
Of course, all you really need to know about Fox News’ Tucker Carlson is that he thinks Russia—which has been led by a murderous, autocratic tyrant for years—should prevail against its smaller neighbor, Ukraine. Sadly, while Tucker has presumably gotten over the knee-jerk anti-Russia sloganeering of the Cold War, the rest of his takes come straight from the ‘50s.
Ironically, most people need cannabis’ anti-nausea effects to get through even one episode of Carlson’s show, and so by the time they tune in they’re already well on their way to multiple murder sprees before he can even begin to warn them about modern reefer madness.
Hoo-boy, Little Choad Fauntleroy was in rare form on Tuesday.
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