Toilet Paper Thieves at large

[Bleipriester]

Two men are believed to have stolen precious toilet paper.

"Police and Emergency Services Minister David Elliott urged anyone with information to come forward and report to police.

"I support any measures taken by police to protect our communities from this sort of disgraceful criminal activity, " he said."

Police hunting Sydney toilet paper thieves

Police are hunting two men who they say have stolen toilet paper.

www.news.com.au

There should be a special punishment for this!

They look Muslim.

Its in the article.

 

[Likkmee]

Two men are believed to have stolen precious toilet paper.

"Police and Emergency Services Minister David Elliott urged anyone with information to come forward and report to police.

"I support any measures taken by police to protect our communities from this sort of disgraceful criminal activity, " he said."

Police hunting Sydney toilet paper thieves

Police are hunting two men who they say have stolen toilet paper.

www.news.com.au

There should be a special punishment for this!

They look Muslim.

Decoys ! Moosehead wipeth with the left and eateth with the right.....I wonder what happens during an eclipse ?

 

[Pogo]

HEY Leave those guys alone. They work for me !
View attachment 314759

When I see that room all I can think is ---

LET LOOSE THE CATS!

​

My friend had a cat like that. Me, I had a pitbull that discovered how to get the end of the TP roll and just run all over the house with it until it's gone.

That happened twice until I started shutting the bathroom door before leaving for work.

Damn dog TP'd my house. Door to door, everywhere! Grrr.!

He used to get that umm..Separation Anxiety.

He was a great dog. He was so happy TPing the house. Not running..just kinda prancing/galluping up and down like.."Yeah!"

Cavorting with the tip of the TP roll in his mouth all over the house.
He did it 1 time while I was home. Come out of my room and saw him in full regalia!
Caught dead in the act, his eyes were kinda wild.

Hopping and shaking.

I only recently discovered --- and discovered it here on this board --- the reason that so many people mount their toilet paper backward (rolling off the FRONT).

These people have never had cats. Simple as that. Mounted correctly, a cat can twirl that roll all day and nothing goes anywhere.

Once I read that and realized, hey my mother had cats constantly all her life, it all made sense.

Fatter o' mact, until I saw these GIFs on the internets, I didn't even know cats ever did that. Maybe because, in our house, they couldn't.

 

[OldLady]

I cannot for the life o' me figure out this toilet paper shit. WHO thinks of toilet paper as something you have to stock up on? What in the fuck were they using before? What were they doing, buying a sheet at a time? Freaking idiots.

That's at least a year's supply in that one guy's hand alone. Who is that? José Bautista?

Quarantine means a lot of fapping, I guess.

Hm. Yeah I can see that, but then that also invites the question, where were they fapping up to now?

I've been ponderating this mystical phenomenon. I came up with the theory that Americans have a secret custom that apparently nobody talks about.

They never shit at home. Ever.

They wait for the workplace, or the supermarket, or maybe some patch in the woods, I have no idea. But clearly a ton of people have never shat at home and now suddenly they're gonna have to use their own bathroom for something besides a shower. So for the first time in their lives they're buying toilet paper, and obviously, they have no idea how much they need. It's all kind of unexplored territory.

I expect there should be a corresponding run on toilet brushes and cleaners. That is, if they know that goes with it. They may not.

That's all I can think of.

Do I want to google "fapping?" Or not.

 

[Pogo]

I cannot for the life o' me figure out this toilet paper shit. WHO thinks of toilet paper as something you have to stock up on? What in the fuck were they using before? What were they doing, buying a sheet at a time? Freaking idiots.

That's at least a year's supply in that one guy's hand alone. Who is that? José Bautista?

Quarantine means a lot of fapping, I guess.

Hm. Yeah I can see that, but then that also invites the question, where were they fapping up to now?

I've been ponderating this mystical phenomenon. I came up with the theory that Americans have a secret custom that apparently nobody talks about.

They never shit at home. Ever.

They wait for the workplace, or the supermarket, or maybe some patch in the woods, I have no idea. But clearly a ton of people have never shat at home and now suddenly they're gonna have to use their own bathroom for something besides a shower. So for the first time in their lives they're buying toilet paper, and obviously, they have no idea how much they need. It's all kind of unexplored territory.

I expect there should be a corresponding run on toilet brushes and cleaners. That is, if they know that goes with it. They may not.

That's all I can think of.

Do I want to google "fapping?" Or not.

No, please don't.

Suffice to say I never heard of it until I came down to this dungeon. I know this isn't the FZ but it is the Ausralia forum so ---- same thing.

 

[Hossfly]

A roll of terlit paper could last a couple years by using this simple method. I learned it in the Army. Pogo OldLady

 

[Flash]

A roll of terlit paper could last a couple years by using this simple method. I learned it in the Army. Pogo OldLady

Anybody that have ever served in the military got this lesson in Basic Training.