I strong suspect it doesn't bother you. Godbotherers have no feelings of stupidity or guilt.
You can believe there's a god until the sun rises in the West and you will get nothing.
Spewing your blessing shit is pure arrogance. You have no unique access to what any stupid supernatural diety wants or. believes. You don't get messages from anyone.
Yet you think you'll get eternity as a reward for worshipping a ghost that doesn't exist. How bloody arrogant is that, not to mention delusional
Don't you ever stop and think about that God bullshit? As a mature human being to be conned by that rubbish, you should be embarrassed. You've never received one iota of anything ftom your silly God but persist with it like you were vaccinated with holy water or alter wine.
Grow up you fool. You're barking mad.