The problem with Republicans

Oct 10, 2004
42
1
6
Wisconsin
This is an article recently written by a noted english professor. ive noticed that the majority of the members of this site are right wingers. Here is a chance for the moderates and dems to make a bit of a stand and for the hostile conservatives to taste some of their own unpleasant medicine.

now for the article

Garrison Keillor unloads
The latest from Garrison Keilor

Something has gone seriously haywire with the Republican Party. Once, it was the party of pragmatic Main Street businessmen in steel-rimmed spectacles who decried profligacy and waste, were devoted to their communities and supported the sort of prosperity that raises all ships. They were good-hearted people who vanquished the gnarlier elements of their party, the paranoid Roosevelt-haters, the flat Earthers and Prohibitionists, the antipapist antiforeigner element. The genial Eisenhower was their man, a genuine American hero of D-Day, who made it OK for reasonable people to vote Republican. He brought the Korean War to a stalemate, produced the Interstate Highway System, declined to rescue the French colonial army in Vietnam, and gave us a period of peace and prosperity, in which (oddly) American arts and letters flourished and higher education burgeoned and there was a degree of plain decency in the country. Fifties Republicans were giants compared to today’s. Richard Nixon was the last Republican leader to feel a Christian obligation toward the poor.

In the years between Nixon and Newt Gingrich, the party migrated southward down the Twistin Trail of Rhetoric and sneered at the idea of public service and became the Scourge of Liberalism, the Great Crusade Against the Sixties, the Death Star of Government, a gang of pirates that diverted and fascinated the media by their shee chutzpah, such as the misty-eyed flag-waving of Ronald Reagan who , while George McGovern flew bombers in World War II, took a pass and mad training films in Long Beach. The Nixon moderate vanished like the passenger pigeon, purged by a legion of angry white men who rose to power on pure punk politics. Bipartisanship is another term of date rape, says Grover Norquist, the Sid Vicious of the GOP. I don’t want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in a bathtub. The boy has Oedipal problems and government is his daddy. The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of Convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons, hacks, fakirs, aggressive dorks, Lamborghini libertarians, people who believe Neil Armstrong’s moonwalk was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico, little honkers out to diminish the rest of us, Newt’s evil spawn and their Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man suspicious of the free flow of information and of secular institutions whose philosophy is a jumble of badly sutured body parts trying to walk. Republicans: The No. 1 reason the rest of the world thinks we’re deaf, dumb and dangerous. Rich ironies abound! Lies pop up like toadstools in the forest! Wild swine crowd round the public trough! Outrageous gerrymandering! Pocket lining on a massive scale! Paid lobbyists sit in committee rooms and write legislation to alleviate the suffering of billionaires! Hypocrisies shine like cat turds in the moonlight! O mark Twain, where art thou at this hour? Arise and behold the Gilded Age reincarnated gaudier than ever, upholding great wealth as the sure sign of Divine Grace.

Her in 2004, George W. Bush is running for reelection on a platform of tragedy the single greatest failure of national defense in our history, the attacks of 9/11 in which 19 men with box cutters put this nation into a tailspin, a failure the details of which the White House fought to keep secret even as it ran the country into hock up to the hubcaps, thanks to generous tax cuts for the well-fixed, hoping to lead us into a box canyon of debt that will render government impotent, even as we engage in a war against a small country that was undertaken for the president’s personal satisfaction but sold to the American public on the basis of brazen misinformation, a war whose purpose is to distract us from an enormous transfer of wealth taking place in this country, flowing upward and the deception is working beautifully.

The concentration of wealth and power in the hands of the few is the death knell of democracy. No republic in the history of humanity has survived this. The election of 2004 will say something about what happens to ours. The omens are not good.

Our beloved land has been fogged with fear, the greatest political strategy ever. An ominous silence, distant sirens, a drumbeat of whispered warnings and alarms to keep the public uneasy and silence the opposition. And in a time of vague fear, you can appoint bullet-brained judges, strip the bark off the Constitution, eviscerate federal regulatory agencies, bring public education to a standstill, and stupefy the press, lavish gorgeous tax breaks on the rich. There is a stink drifting through this election year. It isn’t the Florida recount or the Supreme Court decision. No, it’s 9/11 that we keep coming back to. It wasn’t the end of innocence, or a turning point in our history, or a cosmic occurrence, it was an event, a lapse of security. And patriotism shouldn’t prevent people from asking hard questions of the man who was purportedly in charge of national security at the time.

Whenever I think of those New Yorkers hurrying along Park Place or getting off the No. 1 Broadway local, hustling toward their office on the 90th floor, the morning paper under their arm, I think of that non-reader George W. Bush and how he hopes to exploit those people with a little economic uptick, maybe the capture of Osama, cruise to victory in November and proceed to get some serious nation-changing done in his second term.

This year, as in the past, The Republicans will portray us Democrats as embittered academics, desiccated Unitarians, whacked-out hippies and communards, people who talk to telephone poles, the party of the Deadheads. They will wave enormous flags and wow over and over the footage of firemen in the wreckage of the World Trade Center and bodies being carried out and they will lie about their economic policies with astonishing enthusiasm.

The Union is what needs defending this year. Government of Enron and by Halliburton and for the Southern Baptists is not the same as what Lincoln spoke of. This gang of Pithecanthropus Republicanii has humbugged us to death on terrorism and tax cuts for the comfy and school prayer and flag burning and claimed the right to know what books we read and to dump their sewage upstream from the town and clear-cut the forests and gut the IRS and mark up the constitution on behalf of intolerance and promote the corporate takeover of the public airwaves and to hell with anybody who opposes them.

This is a great country, and it wasn’t made so my angry people. We have a sacred duty to bequeath it to our grandchildren in better shape than however we found it. We have a long way to go and we’re not getting any younger.

Dante said that the hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who in time of crisis remain neutral, so I have spoken my piece, and thank you dear reader. It’s a beautiful world, rain or shine, and there is more to life than winning.
 
rtwngAvngr said:
Garrison Keilor is crap.

spoken like a man with no respect for the right for others to have an opinion.
so you dont like those who are political spinners must be hard to live with yourself.

i wonder did you even read the article or just jump right to a conclusion?
 
InfitiasFatalis said:
spoken like a man with no respect for the right for others to have an opinion.
so you dont like those who are political spinners must be hard to live with yourself.

i wonder did you even read the article or just jump right to a conclusion?

I think your confusing no respect for the right of others to have an opinion with no respect for their opinion. Any person can respect the right of someone to speak but not respect what they are saying.

The last four years have been President Bush's clean up of the Clinton administration. It may take even more time though. We are still cleaning up Carter's problems. If we didnt have to clean up so much maybe we would actually get alot of stuff done for this country.

my one question is, if Gore hadnt dragged Bush to the courts to affirm the vote count in Florida, could Bush have gotten his administration in place quicker to have dealt with the terrorists before they hit us? I guess we will never know.
 
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that doesnt answer my question

it just states the typical line that all and every thing not republican is wrong and all and everything republican is right. but i do respect that it is your opinion so do not think i dont and try not to spin a coment i made to some one else who stated an opinion with no reason why, to mean i wouldnt respect their opinion if they had given reasoning why.

and please id like some reasoning one could find in a text book or from a person who studies history or polotics not just the basic liberal or conservative party line thats why so many people in this country are dissalusioned with the gov and the major parties.
 
:rock: :rock:

Thatta way, Infinitas. I don't generally spend too much time on the "problem with liberals" or "the liberals are at it again" posts; they're for new and old users alike to slap some anti-liberal rhetoric on the board, get their back patted by ten or a dozen board members, get 20 reputation points, and generally feel good about themselves for saying the same thing again in slightly different terms.

It is this phenomenon that has made me more and more moderate in terms of what I say on the USMB. If you dare say anything overtly liberal, agree with John Kerry, God forbid, you're immediately discredited, passed over, slapped down with reputation. Its a vicious cycle-- therefore, I went more to the middle, so conservatives would talk to me and take me seriously, because plenty of them on this board are smart, informed, and great to have a prolonged dialogue with.

But, more power to you for doing your thing. Keillor's great, I love Prairie Home Companion-- some of his views in that article are slightly too radical for me, but I agree with the overall sentiment. I applaud your efforts to deliver 'a taste of their own medicine' to the self-congratulatory conservatives on this board.

P.S. I like most of the conservatives on this board :bye1:
 
Where did you dredge up this gem? Link, please?

As far as what I think of the author and his skewed views, this gentle reader thinks the author is full of shit.

There ya go. My two cents.

Originally posted by nakedemporer
Thatta way, Infinitas. I don't generally spend too much time on the "problem with liberals" or "the liberals are at it again" posts; they're for new and old users alike to slap some anti-liberal rhetoric on the board, get their back patted by ten or a dozen board members, get 20 reputation points, and generally feel good about themselves for saying the same thing again in slightly different terms.It is this phenomenon that has made me more and more moderate in terms of what I say on the USMB. If you dare say anything overtly liberal, agree with John Kerry, God forbid, you're immediately discredited, passed over, slapped down with reputation. Its a vicious cycle-- therefore, I went more to the middle, so conservatives would talk to me and take me seriously, because plenty of them on this board are smart, informed, and great to have a prolonged dialogue with.

But, more power to you for doing your thing. Keillor's great, I love Prairie Home Companion-- some of his views in that article are slightly too radical for me, but I agree with the overall sentiment. I applaud your efforts to deliver 'a taste of their own medicine' to the self-congratulatory conservatives on this board.

P.S. I like most of the conservatives on this board

I knew I had you pegged right, even through your protestations that I had you wrong.

It's good that you're sticking around, NE, perhaps you'll grow and begin to garner wisdom.

However, I'm going to ding your rep, because of your snotty tone and smug assessment of the regulars. I really don't care for it. :banana:
 
Hostile Conservatives?? wha??? That's as far as I read in your post; if that's the point of view you are starting with, I can be assured your article is 180 degrees from reality.
 
Interesting article Fatalis, he got a little carried away with the name calling there in the second paragraph though. I don’t know much about this guy other than what you have told us. Is he one of those professors who took a job at the university upon completing his dissertation? I’ve found that people like that, while extremely educated and have brilliant insight on many things, lack what I call “real world” experience because they’ve lived in the “collegiate bubble” their entire adult lives. Yes, he has seen a transformation of the Republican Party’s make up, but has he not seen (or too insular to notice) the same of the Democratic Party?
 
drowe said:
Interesting article Fatalis, he got a little carried away with the name calling there in the second paragraph though. I don’t know much about this guy other than what you have told us. Is he one of those professors who took a job at the university upon completing his dissertation? I’ve found that people like that, while extremely educated and have brilliant insight on many things, lack what I call “real world” experience because they’ve lived in the “collegiate bubble” their entire adult lives. Yes, he has seen a transformation of the Republican Party’s make up, but has he not seen (or too insular to notice) the same of the Democratic Party?


Yes the response ive been looking for a mature assesment of the article. Not 100% sure about keilors past but i have read another of his published works in the tenth editon of the Norton Reader. and yes he does miss on pointing out the failures of the dem party, but thank you for pointing out that they are not the only party to have failed. And thank you for not being beligerent in you response.
 
NightTrain said:
Where did you dredge up this gem? Link, please?

sorry i dont have a link it was sent to my mas email by some coworker and she printed it off to get the families opinon on it. and yes i do think its a bit extrem.

and dont worry this was published by keilor who has many other essays one of which is some of the failures of the moder colleges that ive read. I do not have the vocabulary just yet to have made this up my self. and i dont lie so i did not find it on some extreemist lefty web page.
 
BTW, I'm a hostile conservative.

Now go jump off a cliff fatalis! You pinko-commie liberal! I hope you wreck your hippie wagon on the way to a Phish show!!!

I'M ONLY KIDDING!!! I hope you make it to the next Phish show.
 
Well, InfitiasFatalis, since you failed to reply to my question, I thought I'd do some research myself as to where this little beaut originated from.

Google turned up only one hit :

http://www.100monkeystyping.com/wlog/archives/001094.html

Hey, what's in a name? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

However, it appears that the original name of the article is "We’re Not in Lake Wobegon Anymore" and was posted at http://www.inthesetimes.com/site/main/article/979/

Very impressive. They even give Kerry and Democrats Eight Ways To Build a Better Body Politic. I especially enjoyed how Neoconservatives And Zionists Are Plotting A Change In Iran.
 
NightTrain said:
It's good that you're sticking around, NE, perhaps you'll grow and begin to garner wisdom.

Snotty tone...smug...

I felt like a jerk after I posted something like "I hope you buck your trend of hate and come around to the value of non-discrimintation and acceptance" in a gay lifestyle thread. This is pretty similar to what I did, and its really lame.

I appreciate that you're applauding me sticking around, but garnering wisdom sounds high-road and condescending to me. Whatevs. Thanks for taking me down a notch NT :beer:
 
Negative.

Repeat after me :

Liberal BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

Republican GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

Liberal BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

Republican GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

Liberal BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

Republican GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD


Keep going, eventually you'll notice hairs sprouting upon your virginial chest. This is normal.
 

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