But how can anyone be sure an abstinent homosexual or alcoholic actually is what he claims if he/she never exhibits the behavior which the evidence that proves such a disorder?
Theoretically, I will agree that they can be mutually exclusive, but not practically. And I will use YOU as an example.
You say you don't beleive in God, and the biggest reason I've ever seen given by you is that there is no evidence that proves God exists. Yet, you will accept that a person who claims to have a disorder indeed has it, with no evidence to support the claim.
I am not saying behavior leads to homosexuality ... I am saying behavior is the evidence that proves the disorder indeed exists.
So, practically, for the purposes of scientific evidence, I consider the disorder and the evidence that proves the disorder mutually inclusive.