What her crime is, is none of our business. If he wants to stand by her, then good for him. He isn't asking advice about his marriage. He is asking if, in OUR opinion, would it be feasible or ok to the psych of his daughter that is 15 years old to see her mother in that situation. In short...he is torn. So he wants other opinions. I gave him mine. You guys gave yours. Knock off the berating the mother of the whys and wherefores. That is not the topic.
Should my daughter visit her mom who is in jail? Is there a benefit to visits over phone calls?
- Thread starter astr591
- Start date
A full body cavity search is stripping nude, you bending over and coughing to see if anything is in your anal cavity and if they are real asshole guards, inserting their finger up there to make double sure. With women, it is TWO cavities that are searched. But that depends on the kind of visit, the convict, the visitor, the crime in question. I doubt that would happen, but if you asked ahead of time..they might do it because you made them suspicious. If you don't ask, you have to take your chances. If they say they want to do that once you get there...you can always decline and they will show you the door without the visit.
Judicial review
Gold Member
- Banned
- #23
Your wife has no integrity. Ditch the *****.
emilynghiem
Constitutionalist / Universalist
? If for whatever reason someone "overcompensates" by trying to go too far,
that sound like covering up and not really coping. If you don't put up a front,
or project judgment, then she won't feel the need to hide and pretend in front of you.
if that happens, let her finish the process of thinking it through.
if she doesn't feel safe and is hiding, let her open up on her own timing. Don't push
or pressure her to feel she needs to act a certain way for your sake.
Normally the grief process
can involve numbness denial and depression
before suddenly hitting a wall of anger,
and then working through all the mixed emotions to resolve them and come to peace.
Don't be afraid if there is denial and numbness, that is often a natural stage.
The person has to feel safe first, before they can openly grieve and express upset or anger.
There is no need to overdo it and "pretend everything is okay" because that can make it worse.
Better to let emotions go with the flow. If there is a struggle, let it happen and pass, just like a bad storm.
Respect their process, and it will flow much smoother.
Don't worry. No matter what stages occur, nobody stays stuck someplace that isn't real or it isn't sustainable.
the dam has to break, and the tears or anger has to flow out if there is distress in the system.
let it happen, as it happens,
just let your daughter know there may be days she thought she was fine, but one thoughtless insensitive remark by someone at school, and she may suddenly blow up for no reason with very little provocation.
the less "pressure to pretend that it's normal" the more your daughter will trust she can feel and say exactly what she is going through, without weird expectations from others including you she won't have to put on an act for.
If you want, you can look up the stages of grief and healing counseling,
so you can see the stages and what to expect and how to manage when that happens.
here are some examples, but people can go through phases in any order, or skip some:
The Seven Stages Of Grief
7 STAGES OF GRIEF
Grief.com Because LOVE Never Dies The Five Stages of Grief - Grief.com - Because LOVE Never Dies
Grief Depression Coping With Denial Loss Anger and More
5 STAGES OF EVERYDAY GRIEF on MADATOMS Comedy for People who have internet Funny Videos Articles Infographics Films and Series
the MAIN thing is not to be afraid, and be willing to accept and forgive any changes,
whatever weird reactions or phases this may involve, any ups or downs or unexpected disruptions.
go with the flow and
you will grow from the experience, have greater respect and appreciation for each other!
take care!
hugs and happiness to you!
eots
no fly list
of course you should
eots
no fly list
No.,.anyone can see incarceration sucks
eots
no fly list
emilynghiem
Constitutionalist / Universalist
Now Judicial review
whatever happened to for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health?
If the spiritual partnership is solid, if these two are equally and spiritual yoked,
they can work through this as another trial or tribulation to grow from.
If the couple is not meant to be yoked, but are meant to be with other partners
sure, it is wrongful to be together if they don't have that type of relationship -- it is
similar to adultery or fornication if you are really someone else's spiritual wife or husband.
But it would be because they AREN'T spiritual partners for each other.
But just because someone violates a law and has to serve a sentence or restitution
is not necessarily grounds for divorce, which depends solely on whether the partners are spiritually yoked as one.
If they are partners, nothing of MAN is supposed to lay that ASUNDER what God has joined.
And if they are NOT partners, then no amount of anything justifies them being together
if they are supposed to be with other partners who ARE their respective soul mates.
emilynghiem
Constitutionalist / Universalist
Hey astr591 if you have no idea what the system or place is like and what are the procedures,
well no wonder you are worried or anxious what this could involve.
Why not go check out the place, and talk to the officials and scope it out first, yourself?
Once you feel confident, then you can decide whether to let your daughter go by herself
or only go in with you, which I would recommend for the first few visits.
Talk with your daughter and get her feedback. If she says she doesn't want to go without you,
well, there's your answer. if you and she find out after a few visits it's no big deal, let her tell you.
If she's not sure, then keep it open.
Why not explore this together? And keep an open dialogue with your daughter how she feels about it.
let her tell you what she likes or can't stand, and you share just as honestly. And you'll figure it out together.
HUGGY
I Post Because I Care
Nonsense!
The nature of the crime or crimes is ABSOLUTELY germane to this discussion.
I can think of many crimes that would make it a very bad idea for visitation.
The child may have issues regarding loyalty to a parent that is incarcerated but one of life's important lessons is to find out when to "cut the rope". That saying comes from rock climbers, of which I am. who upon extreme circumstances must let another climber fall to their own death and not take others on the mountainside down with them. For instance the best climber, usually "the lead" might fall and break his back or even a serious leg fracture on a shear vertical say a thousand feet up. This can put the whole climb team at certain risk attempting to save this unsaveable climber. It may just be that to save the lives of the remaining climbers in this horrible circumstance it must be decided to sever the line holding the dangling climber. Sometimes this decision may come from the injured climber himself if he is still conscience. As hard as this could be it is the right thing to do to allow those able to survive to do so.
Asking the child to make these kinds of choices can be wrong in it's self. Allowing a bad person, the one that is incarcerated, to help in these decisions might be the worst one offering input.
Someone HAS to be the adult. If everyone involved is making these decisions based on emotion the best choice will most certainly NOT be arrived at.
Book of Jeremiah
Platinum Member
- Nov 3, 2012
- 37,635
- 4,529
- 1,170
I find that to be excellent advice, Huggy. I agree with you. If I were the mother I would not want my child to visit me in jail during a 7 month sentence for a crime I am guilty of committing. Absolutely not. It is not an environment for any 15 yr. old girl to see in my opinion. (other than as a deterrent to never going there)
What concerns me is that is sounds as if the mother isn't taking this seriously. She's joking about it? Seriously? It sounds to me that the mother is selfish and is mainly interested in what her needs are. Not her child's. As for counseling - I believe they have Christian church services in jail and bible studies. I would strongly suggest she attend both. Psychology is for the birds. She needs a Bible and plenty of time to read it. End of story.
Book of Jeremiah
Platinum Member
- Nov 3, 2012
- 37,635
- 4,529
- 1,170
You have a lot of wisdom, Huggy. This is an excellent response.
percysunshine
Diamond Member
This looks like a concocted story. Sure, it can possibly happen as described, but I doubt it happened with the poster as a participant.
In my opinion anyway.
.
.
Similar threads
New Topics
-
-
The billionaires club that is the trump government is poised to get another member.- Started by berg80
- Replies: 2
-
-
Zone1 What was the name of the prophet sent to Niniveh?
- Started by Zebra
- Replies: 1
