Several Blue States Have Issued Orders for Civilians to Travel Around in Hamster Bubbles (just to be safe)

[JimBowie1958]

Yeah, I couldnt believe it either until I seed it on the interwebs.

Several States Issue Orders Requiring People To Run Around In Giant Hamster Balls

U.S.— Americans in several states are readily adopting new social distancing measures that will guarantee that no one ever gets sick again. California, New York, Michigan and Washington state legislatures have all issued new orders to their citizens to indefinitely don a plastic hamster ball...

babylonbee.com

U.S.— Americans in several states are readily adopting new social distancing measures that will guarantee that no one ever gets sick again. California, New York, Michigan and Washington state legislatures have all issued new orders to their citizens to indefinitely don a plastic hamster ball whenever they decide to travel outside their home. The human-sized hamster balls are made to be impervious to all foreign particulate matter from the outside world including viruses, bacteria, and oxygen. ​

​

“I guess if it keeps everybody safe, we have to accept the new normal,” said Carol from Seattle, WA, as she attempted to climb into the hollow sphere and snap the plastic portal back into a tight seal so she could get over to the grocery store. When she reached her car she quickly realized that she could not open her car door, or indeed interact with her car at all in any way, so she began the 2 mile journey to the store with a carefully executed controlled roll down her driveway. ​

​

The hollow safety spheres are creating a stir and cities are quickly scrambling to invent new traffic codes and install “tracks” along the roads that cars were once allowed to travel in order to minimize collisions and the occasional hamster ball getting stuck in a culvert or sliding off into a ditch.​

 

[bluzman61]

Yeah, I couldnt believe it either until I seed it on the interwebs.

Several States Issue Orders Requiring People To Run Around In Giant Hamster Balls

U.S.— Americans in several states are readily adopting new social distancing measures that will guarantee that no one ever gets sick again. California, New York, Michigan and Washington state legislatures have all issued new orders to their citizens to indefinitely don a plastic hamster ball...

babylonbee.com

U.S.— Americans in several states are readily adopting new social distancing measures that will guarantee that no one ever gets sick again. California, New York, Michigan and Washington state legislatures have all issued new orders to their citizens to indefinitely don a plastic hamster ball whenever they decide to travel outside their home. The human-sized hamster balls are made to be impervious to all foreign particulate matter from the outside world including viruses, bacteria, and oxygen. ​

​

“I guess if it keeps everybody safe, we have to accept the new normal,” said Carol from Seattle, WA, as she attempted to climb into the hollow sphere and snap the plastic portal back into a tight seal so she could get over to the grocery store. When she reached her car she quickly realized that she could not open her car door, or indeed interact with her car at all in any way, so she began the 2 mile journey to the store with a carefully executed controlled roll down her driveway. ​

​

The hollow safety spheres are creating a stir and cities are quickly scrambling to invent new traffic codes and install “tracks” along the roads that cars were once allowed to travel in order to minimize collisions and the occasional hamster ball getting stuck in a culvert or sliding off into a ditch.​

Not too surprising, considering that ALL four of these states are run by Dim Dems!

 

[deannalw]

Babylonbee is a jokey/satire site like the Onion.

I wouldn't put it past them though.

 

[skye]

I see a BIG RED BUBBLE WAVE COMING......in those blue states.

 

[mamooth]

More evidence that conservatives should never attempt satire, being that they suck so badly at it.

Sure, normal people understand conservative satire, in exactly the same way they understand a 4-year-old telling toilet jokes. They just don't understand why a grownup would consider it to be a knee-slapper.

 

[JimBowie1958]

Lol, satire?

You sure about that?