Sentences You'll Never Hear

[5stringJeff]

This is an interactive humor thread. Everyone gets to participate.

Post a (funny) sentence that you'd never hear.

Example (from George Carlin): "Right after I stick this hot poker in my ass, I'm gonna cut my penis off!"

 

[nycflasher]

Originally posted by gop_jeff
This is an interactive humor thread. Everyone gets to participate.

Post a (funny) sentence that you'd never hear.

Example (from George Carlin): "Right after I stick this hot poker in my ass, I'm gonna cut my penis off!"

Going up against George Carlin in this regard is like saying, "See how far you can hit the ball" just after Griffey or Bonds knocks one out of the stadium...

I can't top that, but I'll try...

 

[nycflasher]

"Whenever I watch T.V. and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

 

[5stringJeff]

Sorry!
Here's one for you:

"You know, there's just not enough Barry Manilow on the radio these days."

 

[nycflasher]

Originally posted by gop_jeff
Sorry!
Here's one for you:

"You know, there's just not enough Barry Manilow on the radio these days."

ha-ha
good one

 

[Hobbit]

[Insert politician] is really sticking to his values, despite being contrary to the majority of the voting public.

[Insert politician] supports [issue] despite his party's stance.

Just a many Republicans voted on each side of this issue as Democrats.

 

[musicman]

The Porsche belongs to the banjo player.

 

[NewGuy]

1. "I DID inhale."

2. "I know what the definition of "is" is."

3. "Exactly right. Christians and muslims DON't worship the same God. I was wrong, I apologize, and I have done our Constitution wrong with the Patriot act. I resign."

4. "As (official,judge,president,etc.) according to the Constitution, I am to hold my office only in the event of "good behavior" and in not comitting "high crimes" nor "misdemeanors". I have violated that, and I assume responsibility and I resign."

I could go on......

 

[fuzzykitten99]

on an airline, waiting in line to take off..

"There's another plane on the tarmac (sp?) just ahead of us...you think I should try and beat him to it?"

 

[lilcountriegal]

From a Police Officer:

"No, no... it's your birthday. Let me blow into the machine for you"

 

[Annie]

Originally posted by fuzzykitten99
on an airline, waiting in line to take off..

"There's another plane on the tarmac (sp?) just ahead of us...you think I should try and beat him to it?"

Dammit! Spit good Zinfendel onto keyboard! shi*! Sticky and red.

 

[nycflasher]

Originally posted by gop_jeff

Example (from George Carlin): "Right after I stick this hot poker in my ass, I'm gonna cut my penis off!"

Still laughing... :hail: :hail: