Rumors are flying that trump is dead.

[Crepitus]

Is he dead yet?​

Froze to death after licking am 88 foot flagpole on a triple-dog dare?

Beaten to a pulp by insulted British soldiers?

Died from newly vaccine-optional polio?

 

[Crepitus]

Chopped into six billion pieces during discovery by JP Morgan chase?

Executed in Davos while Switzerland remains neutral on the subject?

Dropped dead upon reading a strongly-worded letter?

 

[Crepitus]

Thrilled to learn that Juliana Hatfield wrote a song about him, but then heard it?

Fatal whiplash from sudden reversal on Greenland tariffs?

Taken out by NATO allies to prove that they do step up to help America?