- Sep 22, 2013
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One more cheeky heist parody inspired by A Life Less Ordinary. Last one, I promise (Happy New Year's),
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Romeo searched for the love of his life but always came up short. He did however have many odd short-term relationships with random attractive young women he met while growing up in LA. Romeo wanted to find the ideal girl, but this idealized daydream always felt like some kind of reinforcing delusion. He was constantly meeting rough-edged women who reminded him he was on the nerdy side of life.
Romeo snapped mentally and decided to pen draw a rendition of a gorgeous dark-haired woman whom he deemed to be the Juliet of his dreams. He pined after this fictional woman he dreamed up after drawing her. He even dreamed about her while he slept. He called out to her and wondered if he'd ever unite with this figment of his albeit vital imagination, his real Juliet.
JULIET: Where do you work, Romeo?
ROMEO: Is this real or just another dream?
JULIET: Well, you are dreaming, young Romeo!
ROMEO: Who the hell are you?
JULIET: I'm the muse of your imagination...Juliet.
ROMEO: You're real?
JULIET: Maybe.
ROMEO: Maybe?
JULIET: I want you to rob the Salk Bank for me.
ROMEO: What?
JULIET: They're holding diamonds there.
ROMEO: So?
JULIET: Walk in with a water-gun filled with corrosive acid.
ROMEO: And do what?
JULIET: Tell the guards you're a messenger of the dangers of chemical weapons.
ROMEO: What?
JULIET: They'll let you take the diamonds for good political press if you're not an idiot!
ROMEO: Well...why do this?
JULIET: If you do this, young Romeo, I'll come to you in your dreams.
ROMEO: Alright; I'll do it.
JULIET: Grand, darling.
ROMEO: This is absolutely insane.
JULIET: Of course it is!
Romeo walked into the Salk Bank holding a toy water-gun filled with corrosive HCL acid. He told the guards that he was sent by the CIA to inspect the nature of security at Salk against chemical weapons and didn't want any trouble with alarms and guards and had the authority to shoot them in the feet with his acid-guns if they made trouble. The guards panicked and honestly thought Romeo really was sent by the CIA to talk about the dangers of chemical weapons and perform an exquisitely nonviolent heist of the diamonds in the vault room for good political anti-chemical warfare press. Romeo was carrying a homemade CIA ID card. It was enough. They didn't deter him and allowed him to walk away with $20 million worth in diamonds. Romeo called the Post the next day and explained his heist was meant to send the message that chemical weapons should never be fired.
JULIET: You did it!
ROMEO: I thought I could do it.
JULIET: Well, I'm very impressed, young Romeo!
ROMEO: Am I dreaming this again or is this real again?
JULIET: Oh, this is very real, darling.
ROMEO: So, you'll love me...if only in my dreams, beautiful Juliet?
JULIET: Of course I will.
ROMEO: So, we'll be wed in this alternate dimension.
JULIET: Remember what you achieved!
ROMEO: What did I achieve, Juliet?
JULIET: You sent the message that acid-guns are simply deformed.
ROMEO: Very cool.
JULIET: I love you.
ROMEO: What the hell will I tell my parents?
JULIET: Nothing.
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
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Romeo searched for the love of his life but always came up short. He did however have many odd short-term relationships with random attractive young women he met while growing up in LA. Romeo wanted to find the ideal girl, but this idealized daydream always felt like some kind of reinforcing delusion. He was constantly meeting rough-edged women who reminded him he was on the nerdy side of life.
Romeo snapped mentally and decided to pen draw a rendition of a gorgeous dark-haired woman whom he deemed to be the Juliet of his dreams. He pined after this fictional woman he dreamed up after drawing her. He even dreamed about her while he slept. He called out to her and wondered if he'd ever unite with this figment of his albeit vital imagination, his real Juliet.
JULIET: Where do you work, Romeo?
ROMEO: Is this real or just another dream?
JULIET: Well, you are dreaming, young Romeo!
ROMEO: Who the hell are you?
JULIET: I'm the muse of your imagination...Juliet.
ROMEO: You're real?
JULIET: Maybe.
ROMEO: Maybe?
JULIET: I want you to rob the Salk Bank for me.
ROMEO: What?
JULIET: They're holding diamonds there.
ROMEO: So?
JULIET: Walk in with a water-gun filled with corrosive acid.
ROMEO: And do what?
JULIET: Tell the guards you're a messenger of the dangers of chemical weapons.
ROMEO: What?
JULIET: They'll let you take the diamonds for good political press if you're not an idiot!
ROMEO: Well...why do this?
JULIET: If you do this, young Romeo, I'll come to you in your dreams.
ROMEO: Alright; I'll do it.
JULIET: Grand, darling.
ROMEO: This is absolutely insane.
JULIET: Of course it is!
Romeo walked into the Salk Bank holding a toy water-gun filled with corrosive HCL acid. He told the guards that he was sent by the CIA to inspect the nature of security at Salk against chemical weapons and didn't want any trouble with alarms and guards and had the authority to shoot them in the feet with his acid-guns if they made trouble. The guards panicked and honestly thought Romeo really was sent by the CIA to talk about the dangers of chemical weapons and perform an exquisitely nonviolent heist of the diamonds in the vault room for good political anti-chemical warfare press. Romeo was carrying a homemade CIA ID card. It was enough. They didn't deter him and allowed him to walk away with $20 million worth in diamonds. Romeo called the Post the next day and explained his heist was meant to send the message that chemical weapons should never be fired.
JULIET: You did it!
ROMEO: I thought I could do it.
JULIET: Well, I'm very impressed, young Romeo!
ROMEO: Am I dreaming this again or is this real again?
JULIET: Oh, this is very real, darling.
ROMEO: So, you'll love me...if only in my dreams, beautiful Juliet?
JULIET: Of course I will.
ROMEO: So, we'll be wed in this alternate dimension.
JULIET: Remember what you achieved!
ROMEO: What did I achieve, Juliet?
JULIET: You sent the message that acid-guns are simply deformed.
ROMEO: Very cool.
JULIET: I love you.
ROMEO: What the hell will I tell my parents?
JULIET: Nothing.
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
