Report: Biden could receive classified intel just by hanging out in the Mar-a-Lago dining room!

[DrLove]

PALM BEACH, Florida (The Borowitz Report)—President-elect Joe Biden could obtain all the classified intelligence he needs simply by hanging out in the public dining room at Mar-a-Lago, members of the international espionage community recommend.​

​

“Biden shouldn’t worry about getting official intelligence briefings,” a foreign spy, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said. “He should just reserve a table at Mar-a-Lago, and he’ll hear everything he needs.”​

​

The spy offered his own methods for obtaining classified intelligence as a possible roadmap for the President-elect. “Get a table near Trump, order an omelette, and turn on your recorder,” he said.​

​

Calling the last four years “the golden age of spying on the U.S.,” the intelligence agent was philosophical about the impending Biden Presidency. “Nothing lasts forever,” he said.​

Biden Could Receive Classified Intelligence Just by Hanging Out in Mar-a-Lago Dining Room

“Get a table near Trump, order an omelette, and turn on your recorder,” a foreign spy said.

www.newyorker.com

 

[jbrownson0831]

PALM BEACH, Florida (The Borowitz Report)—President-elect Joe Biden could obtain all the classified intelligence he needs simply by hanging out in the public dining room at Mar-a-Lago, members of the international espionage community recommend.​

​

“Biden shouldn’t worry about getting official intelligence briefings,” a foreign spy, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said. “He should just reserve a table at Mar-a-Lago, and he’ll hear everything he needs.”​

​

The spy offered his own methods for obtaining classified intelligence as a possible roadmap for the President-elect. “Get a table near Trump, order an omelette, and turn on your recorder,” he said.​

​

Calling the last four years “the golden age of spying on the U.S.,” the intelligence agent was philosophical about the impending Biden Presidency. “Nothing lasts forever,” he said.​

Biden Could Receive Classified Intelligence Just by Hanging Out in Mar-a-Lago Dining Room

“Get a table near Trump, order an omelette, and turn on your recorder,” a foreign spy said.

www.newyorker.com

But then he would have to come out of his basement.....

 

[okfine]

PALM BEACH, Florida (The Borowitz Report)—President-elect Joe Biden could obtain all the classified intelligence he needs simply by hanging out in the public dining room at Mar-a-Lago, members of the international espionage community recommend.​

​

“Biden shouldn’t worry about getting official intelligence briefings,” a foreign spy, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said. “He should just reserve a table at Mar-a-Lago, and he’ll hear everything he needs.”​

​

The spy offered his own methods for obtaining classified intelligence as a possible roadmap for the President-elect. “Get a table near Trump, order an omelette, and turn on your recorder,” he said.​

​

Calling the last four years “the golden age of spying on the U.S.,” the intelligence agent was philosophical about the impending Biden Presidency. “Nothing lasts forever,” he said.​

Biden Could Receive Classified Intelligence Just by Hanging Out in Mar-a-Lago Dining Room

“Get a table near Trump, order an omelette, and turn on your recorder,” a foreign spy said.

www.newyorker.com

Or just anchor a boat nearby with a WIFI antenna.

 

[DrLove]

Or just anchor a boat nearby with a WIFI antenna.

Borowitz painted this picture of Biden sitting at a table near Trump eating an omelette with a digital recorder in his pocket.
Pretty hilarious.

 

[Oddball]

Bore-owitz....

 

[johngaltshrugged]

Report: Watching a squirrel hump a knothole raises the intelligence level but lowers the self esteem of the average Democrat voter.

 

[JGalt]

Manchurian Joe is probably receiving most of his classified info from his Chinese and Russian overlords by now, so he doesn't need assistance from the Trump administration.

 

[okfine]

Manchurian Joe is probably receiving most of his classified info from his Chinese and Russian overlords by now, so he doesn't need assistance from the Trump administration.

Of course you think they got them from Trump?