I gotchya! I will say a prayer for you tonight. And I will tell you it's all about 2 things.
Perspective and gratitude.
When the good Lord lifts you up...don't forget to say "Thanks". Gratitude is amazingly helpful!
Perspective...after I had open heart surgery & had been recovering for 6 months...they "thought" I might have a blood clot inside my heart. Which pretty much means goodnight Thunk.
They told me...I shook my head & then busted out laughing

The doc said "I don't think you understand". I said "yup...I do...a piece of the clot breaks off & goes straight to my brain & it's like taking a bullet to the head".
She says "OH...you DO understand".
Some times you just have to bow to the absurd & laugh...it's better than crying.
Anyhoo...you got my prayers my friend!