- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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This is a media-era political vignette inspired by The Insider.
Signing off (Happy Halloween),
====
"My name is Snake-Eyes, and I used to be a covert field-soldier and assassin for the patriotic paramilitary crusaders known as 'G.I. Joes.' The G.I. Joes contended with a super-terrorist organization known as 'Cobra' so that democracy could be defended and America could serve as the world's peaceful 'Big Brother.' The G.I. Joes became so popular that there were even comic books about our daring feats and acts of patriotism. Everything was great, and when Cobra surrendered, we threw a huge New Year's party."
"My experience serving the Joes as 'Snake-Eyes' was great, but my real name is Alas, which I never disclosed to anyone until this testimony. I believed the Joes were great patriots, but over time, I felt that internal power-struggles, brought on by natural and terrible terrorism-related angst and frustrations, made me feel like G.I. Joe was not the 'best' outfit for a Christian missionary and ninja like myself. That's why I ultimately left the G.I. Joes and went off on my own, but I kept comic book mementos of my experience!"
"Some consider me a 'whistleblower' and I really can't argue with them. Because the Joes weren't really 'Christian ninjas,' I didn't feel fully-comfortable continuing to serve as their 'honorable warrior.' I gave them an honorary soldier-poster an artist friend of mine made so that my patriotic services to the Joes would be remembered. This poster represents my best intentions, and I hope the Joes consider me a some-time dutiful military soldier (and patriot!)."
"So what am I doing now to continue my interests in Christian missionary work, American/democratic patriotism, and ninja-philosophy? Well, I work with the video-game think-tank company called ActiVision to promote the cultural value of the iconic Ninja Gaiden (Tecmo) video-game franchise. Ninja Gaiden was introduced by Nintendo but evolved into a complex series of games. I used to play the original game on a Nintendo system my mom purchased for me for Christmas, but I appreciate the newer games as well."
"Consumerism and technology have yielded many different video-game systems, including Atari, Commodore 64, Atari Lynx, Nintendo Gameboy, Sega, and Xbox. All of these popular platforms/systems have sold very well in the USA, and I personally like Nintendo. I promote how the Ninja Gaiden franchise promotes fantasy-adventure virtual-reality entertainment, ninja storytelling, and combat ethics. The game features a ninja-hero named Ryu who wanders lands looking for adventure and missions. Ryu represents ethics and courage, and I like to think Nintendo made Ryu the modern-day Tarzan."
"The original Ninja Gaiden game for Nintendo featured a terrific storyboard complementing exciting and challenging ninja-oriented gameplay. Since the action-adventure involves ninja-consciousness, Ryu is often found to be precise, efficient, stealthy, skillful, and energetic. Promoting this game is fun for me, and it reminds me how my days as a patriotic G.I. Joe highlighted my overall Christian interests in linking social behaviors with democratic IQ."
"As Ryu tackles the most nefarious forms of evil, all the while maintaining his ninja code-of-honor, we get the sense that the warrior-adventurer is really a traveler who must learn how to adapt and appreciate the environment around him. Indeed, I like comparing Ryu to a hell-world traveler from Dante's purgatory-work Inferno, working to understand how honor is complicated by courage and danger. Since Nintendo has become very popular, Ryu is something of a 'virtual-reality role model'."
"In Ryu, I find a new sense of excitement and intellectual stimulation. When a reporter asks me what I feel about my new life, I tell them that promoting/marketing Ninja Gaiden makes me feel like I still have an active role in promoting values and imagination for Americans and especially youngsters. I tell them that I felt as honored to be a Christian member of the G.I. Joes as I do being a Christian salesman of Nintendo's Ninja Gaiden!"
"In the new age of media and journalism, a 'whistleblower' is seen as somewhat 'hairy.' I have no malice towards anyone, and I don't consider myself someone who 'revealed' the evils or the corruption of G.I. Joe. I simply feel that my personal testimony about honorable departure from the G.I. Joes and my new life as a salesman of Ninja Gaiden reflects America's opportunities to offer great work for people genuinely interested in democracy and even consumerism (comic books, video-games, etc.)."
TRUMP: What do you think of Snake-Eyes' new life?
CARTER: Well, he seems happy marketing Ninja Gaiden.
TRUMP: He's a ninja himself!
CARTER: Right; the G.I. Joes will surely miss him.
TRUMP: Well, Snake-Eyes has already embraced his new life.
CARTER: Fortunately, there wasn't too much 'whistleblower' controversy.
TRUMP: In the age of media, people love gossip!
CARTER: Yes, the idea of role models in intrigue is appealing.
TRUMP: It makes for wondrous tabloids, Carter.
CARTER: Are you a fan of Ninja Gaiden (Tecmo)?
TRUMP: Sure, my son likes that franchise.
CARTER: Is your son considering running for President someday?
TRUMP: Who knows? I know he's a friend of Snake-Eyes.
CARTER: I wonder if other G.I. Joes like video-games.
TRUMP: I believe Duke and Storm-Shadow like Sega games.
CARTER: Media, consumerism, and patriotism can...work!
TRUMP: We need strong Christian values today.
CARTER: We need EWTN (Catholic-TV) to be as 'edgy' as Al Jazeera (Muslim-TV).
====
Signing off (Happy Halloween),
====
"My name is Snake-Eyes, and I used to be a covert field-soldier and assassin for the patriotic paramilitary crusaders known as 'G.I. Joes.' The G.I. Joes contended with a super-terrorist organization known as 'Cobra' so that democracy could be defended and America could serve as the world's peaceful 'Big Brother.' The G.I. Joes became so popular that there were even comic books about our daring feats and acts of patriotism. Everything was great, and when Cobra surrendered, we threw a huge New Year's party."
"My experience serving the Joes as 'Snake-Eyes' was great, but my real name is Alas, which I never disclosed to anyone until this testimony. I believed the Joes were great patriots, but over time, I felt that internal power-struggles, brought on by natural and terrible terrorism-related angst and frustrations, made me feel like G.I. Joe was not the 'best' outfit for a Christian missionary and ninja like myself. That's why I ultimately left the G.I. Joes and went off on my own, but I kept comic book mementos of my experience!"
"Some consider me a 'whistleblower' and I really can't argue with them. Because the Joes weren't really 'Christian ninjas,' I didn't feel fully-comfortable continuing to serve as their 'honorable warrior.' I gave them an honorary soldier-poster an artist friend of mine made so that my patriotic services to the Joes would be remembered. This poster represents my best intentions, and I hope the Joes consider me a some-time dutiful military soldier (and patriot!)."
"So what am I doing now to continue my interests in Christian missionary work, American/democratic patriotism, and ninja-philosophy? Well, I work with the video-game think-tank company called ActiVision to promote the cultural value of the iconic Ninja Gaiden (Tecmo) video-game franchise. Ninja Gaiden was introduced by Nintendo but evolved into a complex series of games. I used to play the original game on a Nintendo system my mom purchased for me for Christmas, but I appreciate the newer games as well."
"Consumerism and technology have yielded many different video-game systems, including Atari, Commodore 64, Atari Lynx, Nintendo Gameboy, Sega, and Xbox. All of these popular platforms/systems have sold very well in the USA, and I personally like Nintendo. I promote how the Ninja Gaiden franchise promotes fantasy-adventure virtual-reality entertainment, ninja storytelling, and combat ethics. The game features a ninja-hero named Ryu who wanders lands looking for adventure and missions. Ryu represents ethics and courage, and I like to think Nintendo made Ryu the modern-day Tarzan."
"The original Ninja Gaiden game for Nintendo featured a terrific storyboard complementing exciting and challenging ninja-oriented gameplay. Since the action-adventure involves ninja-consciousness, Ryu is often found to be precise, efficient, stealthy, skillful, and energetic. Promoting this game is fun for me, and it reminds me how my days as a patriotic G.I. Joe highlighted my overall Christian interests in linking social behaviors with democratic IQ."
"As Ryu tackles the most nefarious forms of evil, all the while maintaining his ninja code-of-honor, we get the sense that the warrior-adventurer is really a traveler who must learn how to adapt and appreciate the environment around him. Indeed, I like comparing Ryu to a hell-world traveler from Dante's purgatory-work Inferno, working to understand how honor is complicated by courage and danger. Since Nintendo has become very popular, Ryu is something of a 'virtual-reality role model'."
"In Ryu, I find a new sense of excitement and intellectual stimulation. When a reporter asks me what I feel about my new life, I tell them that promoting/marketing Ninja Gaiden makes me feel like I still have an active role in promoting values and imagination for Americans and especially youngsters. I tell them that I felt as honored to be a Christian member of the G.I. Joes as I do being a Christian salesman of Nintendo's Ninja Gaiden!"
"In the new age of media and journalism, a 'whistleblower' is seen as somewhat 'hairy.' I have no malice towards anyone, and I don't consider myself someone who 'revealed' the evils or the corruption of G.I. Joe. I simply feel that my personal testimony about honorable departure from the G.I. Joes and my new life as a salesman of Ninja Gaiden reflects America's opportunities to offer great work for people genuinely interested in democracy and even consumerism (comic books, video-games, etc.)."
TRUMP: What do you think of Snake-Eyes' new life?
CARTER: Well, he seems happy marketing Ninja Gaiden.
TRUMP: He's a ninja himself!
CARTER: Right; the G.I. Joes will surely miss him.
TRUMP: Well, Snake-Eyes has already embraced his new life.
CARTER: Fortunately, there wasn't too much 'whistleblower' controversy.
TRUMP: In the age of media, people love gossip!
CARTER: Yes, the idea of role models in intrigue is appealing.
TRUMP: It makes for wondrous tabloids, Carter.
CARTER: Are you a fan of Ninja Gaiden (Tecmo)?
TRUMP: Sure, my son likes that franchise.
CARTER: Is your son considering running for President someday?
TRUMP: Who knows? I know he's a friend of Snake-Eyes.
CARTER: I wonder if other G.I. Joes like video-games.
TRUMP: I believe Duke and Storm-Shadow like Sega games.
CARTER: Media, consumerism, and patriotism can...work!
TRUMP: We need strong Christian values today.
CARTER: We need EWTN (Catholic-TV) to be as 'edgy' as Al Jazeera (Muslim-TV).
====
