Obama Makes Stunning Admission About Forged Birth Certificate
Submitted by admin on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 10:27
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(Washington D.C) – In an absolutely stunning reversal of his previous assertions, Obama released a statement from the White House today stating that the Certificate Of Live Birth posted on the Whitehouse.gov website is in fact a forgery.
The shocking statement by Obama was as follows: “I did not have an original copy of my birth certificate and I was under tremendous pressure from the media to release something. Since releasing an uncertified record from the State of Hawaii did not quell cries from the right, I succumbed to the pressure and doctored a PDF file to acquiesce to their relentless probing. After great ponderance the guilt of pulling the wool over the eyes of the American people finally got to me. Please accept my sincerest apologies for perpetrating this fraud. I still feel I am a good President and leader of the American people but I have certainly made mistakes along the way.”
Although this seemed like one of the most important political revelations in modern US history, a shocking set of events then unfolded. Obama scheduled a press conference to cover this topic in a question and answer session, however not a single major news outlet showed up to the press conference. The White House press briefing room was completely empty and silent enough to hear a pin drop. The President stayed a while and then began playing Angry Birds on his iPhone to pass the time. A full 60 minutes into the scheduled briefing the President gave up and left the White House briefing room.
Although the major media news outlets did not pick up the story, the liberal blogosphere lit up with activity negative towards the President. Prominent liberal bloggers labeled the President a racist and “tea bagger” for espousing this hateful vitriol. Others stated that he was a “tin foil hat wearing ignoramus”. There was an overall massive wave of negative energy projected onto the President for making this assertion. The President himself waded into the onslaught, attempting to comment on these boards explaining why he made this mistake and attempted to apologize. Through brute force he was overwhelmed by hundreds of bloggers claiming he was part of an attempt by the “Right Wing Nut Jobs” to discredit the standing President.
Later this evening the President began to receive harsh and threatening phone calls. The first was from Media Matters and Mediate, George Soros sponsored media activist websites and news portals. The threats were thick and poignant, claiming that if the President did not back down from his comments they would launch deep investigations into his background and ruin his reputation painting him as a racist and right wing conspiracy theorist. After this came calls from the FCC, FEC, NSA and other powerful government agencies stating that the President could face legal actions and harsh investigations if he continued to make these assertions. The final call came from Attorney General Eric Holder who stated he would personally sue President Obama in Federal court if he did not back down.
By the following morning the President was bewildered and exhausted from relentless attacks, name calling, and race baiting by his liberal opponents. At 10am he issued a new statement saying that his birth certificate was in fact not a forgery and he had made a mistake. This time the media swarmed the White House and the press briefing room was packed with standing room only. The microphones and cameras were as thick as forest vegetation bristling in every part of the room. When asked why he had made the previous statement Obama replied “I was sleepy and a little confused, sorry”. The media showered Obama with praise on every major television and radio station touting his wisdom and courage in making this statement and casting out any doubters as hate mongers and racists.
Reported By America Matters Washington Correspondent Bill Newsworthy
Obama Makes Stunning Admission About Forged Birth Certificate | America Matters
You did read the red letter part at the beginning, didn't you, shit stain???








