Newsom vows 100 percent tax on everything

[Votto]

SACRAMENTO, California — Gavin Newsom vowed Wednesday to tax any payouts that California residents receive from a $1.776 billion “anti-weaponization” fund that Donald Trump secured in a settlement with his own Justice Department, but then paused, and said he thought about what he had said for a few minutes and then decided why not just do this with all income and be done with it? "I'm running on raising taxes", said Gavin, "But I will also appeal to conservatives because at the same time, I am running on never raising taxes again with my 100% tax on everything plan. After all, we need moderates like me to bring both sides together on the political spectrum, you know, I'm doing!"

CNN is therefore reporting that Gavin Newsom is running for President as a centrist, appealing to both conservatives and atheistic, Left-wing, trans, mutant, tax loving, Nazis from hell and their democrat party. No word yet on whether white folk will get reparations from the government in order to survive, but I would not get their hopes up.

 

[Cellblock2429]

SACRAMENTO, California — Gavin Newsom vowed Wednesday to tax any payouts that California residents receive from a $1.776 billion “anti-weaponization” fund that Donald Trump secured in a settlement with his own Justice Department, but then paused, and said he thought about what he had said for a few minutes and then decided why not just do this with all income and be done with it? "I'm running on raising taxes", said Gavin, "But I will also appeal to conservatives because at the same time, I am running on never raising taxes again with my 100% tax on everything plan. After all, we need moderates like me to bring both sides together on the political spectrum, you know, I'm doing!"

CNN is therefore reporting that Gavin Newsom is running for President as a centrist, appealing to both conservatives and atheistic, Left-wing, trans, mutant, tax loving, Nazis from hell and their democrat party. No word yet on whether white folk will get reparations from the government in order to survive, but I would not get their hopes up.

/-----/ It's sad when the Babylon Bee's parody is too close to reality.