I never said it once I was old enough to think
I'm not suggesting that said decision on your part was not thought out, but I wonder if you are aware that the anti-religion movement, the French Revolution, is the source of a number of your views, i.e., the Leftist thought and movements?
1. For the origins of fascism, we should search through the Romantic nationalism of the 18th century, and the philosophy of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, who might even be called the Father of Modern Fascism.
a. The French Revolution was the first totalitarian revolution: a nationalist, populist uprising, led and manipulated by an intellectual vanguard determined to replace Christianity with a political religion.
Rousseau: Political Economy
2. In fact, Rousseau has been called the precursor of the modern pseudo-democrats such as Stalin and Hitler and the "people's democracies." His call for the "sovereign" to force men to be free if necessary in the interests of the "General Will" harks back to the Lycurgus of Sparta instead of to the pluralism of Athens; the legacy of Rousseau is Robespierre and the radical Jacobins of the Terror who followed and worshipped him passionately. In the 20th century, his influence is further felt by tyrants who would arouse the egalitarian passions of the masses not so much in the interests of social justice as social control.
French Revolution - Robespierre, and the Legacy of the Reign of Terror
3. So, investing nationalism with the idea of the general will created a secular, if circular, religion: the people worshipped themselves! Thus the primacy of the collective, directly from Rousseau.
` a. Rousseau points out, in The Social Contract, that a weakness of Christianity was that men have never known whether they ought to obey the civil ruler or priest (God or Caesar), so it would be better for all to have a society were religion and politics were one.
b. Revolutionary descendents of Rousseau knew that they had to exterminate every trace of Christianity from the public agenda. Mussolini wrote in 1919 Two religions are today contending
for sway in the world- the black and the red.
c. In the Papal Encyclical Non Abbiamo Bisogno, the Vatican accused the fascists of organizing a state religion, to monopolize completely the young,
for the exclusive advantage of a party and of a regime based on an ideology which clearly resolves itself into a true, a real pagan worship of the State.
Pius XI, Non abbiamo bisogno (29/06/1931)