most embarrassing moments

[Luissa]

So I went today with my friend to buy a brake light, I had the girl working find it for me. After she handed it to me I just started walking for the day and was going to leave without paying confusing the girl and my friend. When I realized what I was doing I quickly turned around and went to pay for it. I of course got out of there quickly and both my friend and I could not stop laughing once we got in the car.

So what are some of your moments?

 

[random3434]

How many bong hits did you have before you went into the brake store?

 

[Luissa]

How many bong hits did you have before you went into the brake store?

a few!

 

[AllieBaba]

I had a car that I bought, and the day after I got it home it wouldn't start. Wouldn't turn over, nothing.

So I got the custom farmer who worked for my fiance to look at it. He told me, "It's a jort."

I was like, ok, what do I know. So I went to the foreign car shop and told them, "Swede (everyone knew Swede, he was a Swedish custom farmer who actually farmed my bro-in-law's land before he started farming for my eventual husband's family) said it was a "jort". I don't know what a jort is, but if Swede says that's what it is, it must be a part that this car has.

IT WAS A SHORT. THAT'S what he was trying to say. A SHORT. I made Swede repeat it like 4 times..."A jort?" "Ya, a JORT!" "Are you sure?" "Ya, it's the JORT!"

What a complete retard I felt like.

That's a mild embarassing moment. THere are others which I shall decline sharing.

 

[Luissa]

I had a car that I bought, and the day after I got it home it wouldn't start. Wouldn't turn over, nothing.

So I got the custom farmer who worked for my fiance to look at it. He told me, "It's a jort."

I was like, ok, what do I know. So I went to the foreign car shop and told them, "Swede (everyone knew Swede, he was a Swedish custom farmer who actually farmed my bro-in-law's land before he started farming for my eventual husband's family) said it was a "jort". I don't know what a jort is, but if Swede says that's what it is, it must be a part that this car has.

IT WAS A SHORT. THAT'S what he was trying to say. A SHORT. I made Swede repeat it like 4 times..."A jort?" "Ya, a JORT!" "Are you sure?" "Ya, it's the JORT!"

What a complete retard I felt like.

That's a mild embarassing moment. THere are others which I shall decline sharing.

that sounds like somethin I would do.

So what are these stories allie?

 

[RodISHI]

For years I stopped in a local lumber store and picked up broken or chipped sheet rock. A lot of times a fork lift driver gets carried away and any rock with even a small ding in it goes to the salvage sale. We sheet rocked Rod's two story shop also. Took us ten years off and on to build the place. Normally when I went into the lumber yard I had coveralls on. One day after picking up sheet rock and building materials for near ten years there I happened to be dressed normal. I stopped in to see the manager since he was the only one who could okay large salvage sales. His gal told me come on into the back offices. The manager said, "You got clothes on!" Everyone's head in that office turned. I'm standing there kinda dumbfounded not sure what to say. The guy starts back tracking, "I hem, well I mean you have regular clothes on I've never seen you dressed before". Situation getting worse every time the guy said something more. I finally said yeah, I did not put my coveralls on over my regular clothes today. Not working today. This poor guy I'm not sure who was more embarrassed him or me. Finally he looks over at his secretary and says, "She usually has coveralls on. This is the first time I have ever seen her in normal clothes!" At that point I had to laugh.

 

[Luissa]

 

[Mr. H.]

Back in college I drove my '66 Beetle to visit family in Tennessee. Needed an oil change so I took it to a local mom and pop garage. They got the job done, lowered it down, and I was ready to go. Instead of starting the car and backing it out I opened the door, threw it into neutral, and guided it with my hand on the steering wheel. Uncle-grandpa-dad kept saying "wachado, wachado" and I'm like what? Before I knew it my door frame caught the edge of the garage and bent it backwards, totally fucking it up.

Watch the door.

 

[AllieBaba]

I had a car that I bought, and the day after I got it home it wouldn't start. Wouldn't turn over, nothing.

So I got the custom farmer who worked for my fiance to look at it. He told me, "It's a jort."

I was like, ok, what do I know. So I went to the foreign car shop and told them, "Swede (everyone knew Swede, he was a Swedish custom farmer who actually farmed my bro-in-law's land before he started farming for my eventual husband's family) said it was a "jort". I don't know what a jort is, but if Swede says that's what it is, it must be a part that this car has.

IT WAS A SHORT. THAT'S what he was trying to say. A SHORT. I made Swede repeat it like 4 times..."A jort?" "Ya, a JORT!" "Are you sure?" "Ya, it's the JORT!"

What a complete retard I felt like.

That's a mild embarassing moment. THere are others which I shall decline sharing.

that sounds like somethin I would do.

So what are these stories allie?

Once I was interviewed and broadcast on local television network...and had no memory of it.

I was young, I was in the Let'er Buck Room during Round Up.

I still have no recollection of it. My brother, who was in prison at the time, is the one who caught it. He was like, "HEY! THAT'S MY SIS!"

I asked him if I did anything to embarass myself. He said no, they just asked me what I was doing and I said I was just having a good time.

Pretty good considering it was Round-Up and at the time the hobby of out-of-towners (and I was NOT one) was to take off their shirts.

I pride myself on the times I've been to R-Up and in the Let'er Buck..and I've never ONCE taken off my shirt and had the cowbell rung. When someone takes off their shirts, the cowbell is rung and it used to be the girl got a t-shirt, then it changed to them being escorted (cheered on by drunken onlookers) by the bouncers...then it became the cowbell is rung, they're escorted out, and 86'd.

Local girls rarely to never do it. We have to live there. We know the bouncers and bartenders, often we are those people.

So I was happy I was clothed and lucid. Still have no memory of it, though.

That's also a mild embarassment. I will continue to withhold the truly humiliating events because they may be held against me in a court of....well, not law, well, maybe.

 

[Luissa]

once while playing softball I hit a grand slam, I thought was so awesome and then I tripped on home plate and did a face plant.

 

[Xenophon]

It involves whipped cream and losing pants, and I ain't talkin about it.

 

[Luissa]

I also have a whipped cream story that I will not share!

 

[Lumpy 1]

When I was a teenager, I worked a part time job at a machine shop. Part of the job was the runner. I'd drive the pickup and get parts, deliver product and pick up food for the other employees.

One day they sent me to the, " English Meat Pie Shop" for a food pick up. The order was, steak & kidney pie, hare pie and a beef pie. So, I walk into the shop and there's this rather old and proper English Lady working there. I placed my order, "steak & kidney pie, beef pie and I'd like a hare pie". She gives me a wry grin and asks, "what was that last one again", and I responded load and clear, "A HARE PIE, I WANT A HARE PIE". At that, all the customers in the shop burst out laughing and the English Lady was doubled over in laughter.

To make matters worse, at the time, I had no idea what a "hair pie" was....

 

[AllieBaba]

P.S. to the whole R-Up disrobing thing...it was NOT because ppl weren't asking me to do it.

They might not ask me today, but back in the day they definitely were.

But as I said, I lived in that town. I wasn't about to be one of those floozies. I only floozed in private and on the side. At least that's what I hear.

 

[Luissa]

 

[Phoenix]

P.S. to the whole R-Up disrobing thing...it was NOT because ppl weren't asking me to do it.

They might not ask me today, but back in the day they definitely were.

But as I said, I lived in that town. I wasn't about to be one of those floozies. I only floozed in private and on the side. At least that's what I hear.

 

[Midnight Marauder]

Years ago, working on my '65 Chrysler Newport with a friend, having a few beers, just a nice Saturday afternoon with my car, my Pally, and my girl.

I needed a fuse, so sent my gal Angie off to the parts store to get us some 15 amp Buss fuses. Ten minute deal.

An hour passed. An hour and a half. We were out of beer now too. Major pisser and buzzkill. But that was nothing.

She pulls up, slams the door to my Firebird, storms up to me and proclaims, "I have been to every fucking parts store in town, and NONE of them have fuses for a bus! Why do you need a fuse for a BUS, for a fucking CAR?"

How embarrassing for her, I felt really bad especially since my friend and I could not stop laughing....

 

[AllieBaba]

When I was a teenager, I worked a part time job at a machine shop. Part of the job was the runner. I'd drive the pickup and get parts, deliver product and pick up food for the other employees.

One day they sent me to the, " English Meat Pie Shop" for a food pick up. The order was, steak & kidney pie, hare pie and a beef pie. So, I walk into the shop and there's this rather old and proper English Lady working there. I placed my order, "steak & kidney pie, beef pie and I'd like a hare pie". She gives me a rye grin and asks, "what was that last one again", and I responded load and clear, "A HARE PIE, I WANT A HARE PIE". At that, all the customers in the shop burst out laughing and the English Lady was doubled over in laughter.

To make matters worse, at the time, I had no idea what a "hair pie" was....

Uh oh...it's a wry grin. Rye is bread. Not that I care about spelling or anything, just wouldn't want you to be set up again. It sounds painful...but hilarious. I would've cracked up, too.

So can you really get kidney in the drive throughs in Britain? Do they have drive thrus there?

 

[Lumpy 1]

When I was a teenager, I worked a part time job at a machine shop. Part of the job was the runner. I'd drive the pickup and get parts, deliver product and pick up food for the other employees.

One day they sent me to the, " English Meat Pie Shop" for a food pick up. The order was, steak & kidney pie, hare pie and a beef pie. So, I walk into the shop and there's this rather old and proper English Lady working there. I placed my order, "steak & kidney pie, beef pie and I'd like a hare pie". She gives me a rye grin and asks, "what was that last one again", and I responded load and clear, "A HARE PIE, I WANT A HARE PIE". At that, all the customers in the shop burst out laughing and the English Lady was doubled over in laughter.

To make matters worse, at the time, I had no idea what a "hair pie" was....

Uh oh...it's a wry grin. Rye is bread. Not that I care about spelling or anything, just wouldn't want you to be set up again. It sounds painful...but hilarious. I would've cracked up, too.

So can you really get kidney in the drive throughs in Britain? Do they have drive thrus there?

Thanks, I fixed my spelling.....

I would assume so but this took place when I was living down in the Los Angeles area.

 

[Si modo]

My first fiance was a French guy. We moved to France, but my French wasn't very good at first. During the first week there, his parents invited us to dinner at their home. His father spoke barely comprehensible English and his mother spoke none at all. His mother made a fabulous meal - I ate every course. Finally, after dessert, she asked me if I wanted another piece of cake. Still at the point of thinking in English and translating in my head to French, I figured out how to say 'No thanks; I am full' in French.

I patted my tummy and said to her, "Non merci; je suis plein." Jaws dropped at the table. Finally, Pierre (fiance) figured it out and explained.

'Je suis plein' is French slang and equivalent to saying, "I'm knocked up".

Not a good idea to announce to one's future parents in law the first time a lady meets them. (BTW, I ended up not marrying him later.)